I feel like I am struggling to be the person God wants me to be; I ask Him for guidance and to help me make sure I’m going down the path He wants me to. My future still seems so uncertain. I’m watching my grandfather die slowly, and I’m struggling through a relationship with a girl I care a lot about but don’t know if we are right for each other. I also have a fear for her faithfulness even though she, to my knowledge, has never done anything she shouldn’t have. I don’t remember ever feeling so lost even though I think my relationship with God is as strong as ever. Admittedly, I don’t go to church; I haven’t been for years. I tell myself that what is important is my relationship with God. I feel guilty for complaining about my life knowing that there are people out there who have it much worse than I do. I’m healthy, fed; I mean, I have a pretty decent life.
In short – am I being selfish? Why do I feel lost and not know the right thing to do? How do you know what is best for you? Would I be a better christian/person if I went to church?
I don’t expect you to answer this or reply, but guidance would be appreciated.
Sincerely,
Without A Compass
Dear Without A Compass,
Solomon once said that to fear God and keep His commandments is the whole of man (Eccl 12:13Eccl 12:13
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
13 [This is] the end of the matter; all hath been heard: fear God, and keep his commandments; for this is the whole [duty] of man.
WP-Bible plugin). Right now, you aren’t feeling whole because you aren’t paying attention to all of His commandments. The sum of God’s Word is truth (Ps 119:160Ps 119:160
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
160 The sum of thy word is truth; And every one of thy righteous ordinances [endureth] for ever.
WP-Bible plugin). We cannot find peace and salvation without embracing all of God’s teachings and humbly allowing the Master to guide our lives. Heb 10:24-25Heb 10:24-25
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
24 and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works;
25 not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting [one another]; and so much the more, as ye see the day drawing nigh.
WP-Bible plugin makes it clear that you cannot serve God without assembling with christians on a regular basis. He also teaches that we must take the Lord’s Supper regularly (every Sunday – Acts 20:7Acts 20:7
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
7 And upon the first day of the week, when we were gathered together to break bread, Paul discoursed with them, intending to depart on the morrow; and prolonged his speech until midnight.
WP-Bible plugin) with other christians (1 Cor 11:20-261 Cor 11:20-26
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
20 When therefore ye assemble yourselves together, it is not possible to eat the Lord's supper:
21 for in your eating each one taketh before [other] his own supper; and one is hungry, and another is drunken.
22 What, have ye not houses to eat and to drink in? or despise ye the church of God, and put them to shame that have not? What shall I say to you? shall I praise you? In this I praise you not.
23 For I received of the Lord that which also I delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus in the night in which he was betrayed took bread;
24 and when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, This is my body, which is for you: this do in remembrance of me.
25 In like manner also the cup, after supper, saying, This cup is the new covenant in my blood: this do, as often as ye drink [it], in remembrance of me.
26 For as often as ye eat this bread, and drink the cup, ye proclaim the Lord's death till he come.
WP-Bible plugin). No man is an island; christians are meant to gather together with others who can help them through the trials of life (like watching your grandfather die) and the difficult decisions (like how to proceed with your girlfriend). The church is made up of many individuals, and it is designed to build all of us up together in Christ (Eph 4:12-16Eph 4:12-16
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
12 for the perfecting of the saints, unto the work of ministering, unto the building up of the body of Christ:
13 till we all attain unto the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a fullgrown man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14 that we may be no longer children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, in craftiness, after the wiles of error;
15 but speaking truth in love, we may grow up in all things into him, who is the head, [even] Christ;
16 from whom all the body fitly framed and knit together through that which every joint supplieth, according to the working in [due] measure of each several part, maketh the increase of the body unto the building up of itself in love.
WP-Bible plugin). You won’t be a whole person until you begin working with a church and attending services.
We caution you that it is important to find a church that will teach and instruct you only in the Scriptures. Not all congregations are alike. There are many religious groups that warp and pervert the Scriptures (1 Jhn 4:1Jhn 4:1
English: American Standard Version (1901) - ASV
4
1 When therefore the Lord knew that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John
WP-Bible plugin) – and they will only make your situation worse. If you would like help finding a faithful and Biblical congregation in your area, please feel free to e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will do our best to put you in contact with a trustworthy congregation near you.