I was told recently by my pastor that an elder should always put his congregation first, even before his wife.  I believe that to be incorrect.  I always thought that we should all place God first, our spouses second, and our children third, and that is the model for a christian family.  I believe that to be one of the most significant examples to your congregation.  Am I correct, or am I wrong about this?

Sincerely,
Ducks In A Row

Dear Ducks In A Row,

You are right.  The Scriptures are clear that being an elder is a voluntary position (1 Tim 3:1).  A man can resign from the eldership, but he can’t resign from his marriage or his family.  God makes it clear that when a man marries, a large portion of his life becomes dedicated to caring for his wife’s needs (1 Cor 7:32-34).  Furthermore, husbands are clearly told that they must care for their wives as much as they care for their own bodies (Eph 5:28).  A man is a husband for life; he is an elder by choice for a time.

His relationship with his children is also not optional.  A father has various responsibilities to his offspring (Eph 6:4, Col 3:21, Heb 12:9, etc.).

Please refresh my memory regarding Nazirites.  First of all, does this word simply mean “separated”, or does the word have something to do with the city of Nazareth?

What lessons can we learn from those who lived under this vow, and for what purpose did God place an importance upon those He raised up as such?(Amos 2:11)

We know that Samson and Samuel lived their lives as Nazirites, but could John the Baptist also have lived under this vow according to Luke 1:15?

Then in Lamentations 4:7, I am confused as to who is being referred to here.

Lastly, (sorry for so many questions regarding this!) it appears to me that a person could choose to be a Nazirite for a “set amount of time”.  Is it possible that Jesus ever took this vow?  Obviously not when He instituted the Lord’s Supper, but I am just curious.  Thank you so much.  This is a wonderful website!

Sincerely,
I’d Like To Buy A Vow

Dear I’d Like To Buy A Vow,

Nazirite does indeed mean ‘separated’ or ‘consecrated’.  A Nazirite was someone who had taken a vow to serve God by abstaining from various things for a specified period of time.  The list of things involved with being a Nazirite can be seen in Num 6:1-9.  The most notable traits of a Nazirite were that they wouldn’t cut their hair, and they abstained from all grape products.

Nazirites were people who were voluntarily, deeply committed to serving God and made great sacrifices to put God first in their lives.  There is little we know about the life of a Nazirite.  Their vow to abstain from certain things seems similar to the idea of fasting – when you give something up for God, it is a sign of your commitment and dedication, and it helps to keep you focused on your spiritual goals.  Amos 2:11-12 is addressing how much God loved and appreciated Nazirites, and it contrasts that love with how Israel abused them.

Samson was a lifelong Nazirite (Judg 13:5), and Hannah consecrated Samuel as a Nazirite from birth (1 Sam 1:11).  We don’t know for sure whether John the Baptist was a Nazirite… but Lk 1:15 certainly lends toward it.

Lamentations is an entire book dedicated to Jeremiah’s sorrow over the fall of Jerusalem.  Lam 4:7 is part of that lament.  The nobles/Nazirites (depending on your translation) are the consecrated and faithful that used to populate the streets and faithfully serve God.  With wistful sorrow, Jeremiah remembers the days when people were faithful and godly in Jerusalem.

And lastly, it is not likely that Jesus was ever a Nazirite.  The reason for this is that He had a reputation for being the exact opposite of John the Baptist (Lk 7:33-34).  Since it is likely John the Baptist was a Nazirite, Jesus wouldn’t have ever been one.

My question is: when a pregnant woman gets baptized in water, how does that baptism affect the unborn fetus “spiritually”… considering that the Bible states that the soul is created upon conception, not birth?  So technically, is the unborn baby getting baptized also?

Sincerely,
Wet Womb

Dear Wet Womb,

The baptism wouldn’t affect the child at all.  Baptism doesn’t mean anything unless the person is believing (Mk 16:16) and repentant (Acts 2:38).  Since it is impossible for an infant to believe or repent… the child would not be affected by the baptism in a spiritual way.  On top of that, a child doesn’t need to be saved – which is the purpose of baptism (1 Pet 3:21).  Feel free to read “What About The Children?” for further details on the spiritual condition of children.

Dear preacher, my name is (blank), and I am a christian.  I trust your competence and knowing of the Scriptures, and I would like to ask you one very serious question.  At least, it is very serious for me.  I am married to a non-christian girl.  She does not want to know about God and about the Bible even though she respects my faith and is not against me attending the church meetings.  We are going to have a child soon, Lord willing.  She wants to baptize the child according to Russian Orthodox tradition in the Russian Orthodox church.  I tried to explain to her that this is not according to the Bible, that this is not what God wants, and that this is not true baptism because the child cannot even understand what is being done with him… she insists on baptizing the child, which, Lord willing, is to be born soon.  What should I do in this case as a christian?  Should I let her baptize the child if she really insists on this?  I do not know what to do… I want to save our family… I really want to save our family.

When she told me that she wanted to baptize the child in the Russian Orthodox church, I told her that if she really believes in this (in the necessity of baptism of infants) – I cannot stop her from doing this… I told her that if she wants to do this – I’d let her do this, but I will not do anything to support her.  I will not even take her with our car to the Russian Orthodox church for this purpose.

I also told her that when our child reaches certain age, I will take him to the children’s Bible classes at our congregation, so that he would be able to know about God from the very early years of his life.  She told me that she will not let me do this – if I do this, she will leave me and will take the child with her.  I am in great despair at this moment.  I want to save our family, but it seems that if she does not change her attitude – this will not be possible.

Sometimes, I want to tell her that if she really insists that she will not let me take the child to the children’s Bible classes – she should leave me right now.  Should we get divorced based on 1 Corinthians 7?  I never thought that she would become so hard-hearted.  She believes that the commandments of the Lord in the Bible make people limited and cause them not to enjoy their life in full.

I have made certain mistakes as a person not really experienced in marriage, but each time I asked her to forgive me, it seems like she forgave me.  In the same way, she made mistakes… which I forgave.  But I do not know what to do in this case.  I really need your help and your advice.

Sincerely,
Unorthodox Father

Dear Unorthodox Father,

Our heart really and truly goes out to you – you are obviously “unequally yoked” in spiritual matters (2 Cor 6:14).  There is no simple answer in this case, but there are some principles that you should consider.

1. You are the spiritual head of your household, and you have a responsibility to guide your family in God’s ways (Eph 5:23).
2. This responsibility means that you must behave as Christ does towards His church – sacrificially and lovingly.  Being a husband means that you must pick your battles; be the first to forgive and the first to show kindness (Eph 5:28-29).  The spiritual direction of your child’s life is a battle worth picking, but if you are constantly fighting over less important things… the issues that matter won’t be treated with the gravity that is necessary.
3. If she does baptize the child in the Russian Orthodox church – it won’t matter.  The child will get wet, but it won’t affect its soul.  Take comfort in that.
4. You mentioned 1 Cor 7 – if she wants to leave, you can let her go (1 Cor 7:15), but that doesn’t mean you should hope that she leaves.  As long as she wants to be married to you – even with your religious convictions – you need to try and make your marriage work (1 Cor 7:12).  As frustrated as you are right now, you never know if your good behavior might get her to see the light (1 Cor 7:16).

In short, hang in there.  Stand your ground on moral principles and give way on matters of opinion.  The Lord will bless you, and your child, in your faithfulness (Rom 8:28, 1 Cor 7:14).

My 46-year-old sister has been caught up in a group of new age shamans.  She has taken all the classes and is now involved in some things they call “soul retrieval” and “journeying”.  Both delve into the spirit world.  She claims to talk to spirits and my deceased mother.  Whenever I see her, I get a very uneasy creepy feeling.  I am at the point where I can’t stand to be around her or look at her.  I want to be a good sister and christian, but I don’t know what I should do.  She knows that I think what she is involved in is wrong and thinks it is funny.  She says she believes in God, but I feel what she is involved in is not right.  Not sure how to handle this anymore.  Any suggestions?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
My Soul Doesn’t Need Retrieving

Dear My Soul Doesn’t Need Retrieving,

If she thinks your religious differences are funny, religion is not something she is taking very seriously at this stage of her life.  Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me” (Jhn 14:6).  Jesus is an exclusive Savior; He leaves no room for other gods or forms of worship.  Your sister needs be only mildly interested in spiritual things to recognize the differences between the Bible and her occult practices.  The fact that she is amused by your discomfort makes it clear that she is not interested in discussing the topic with you.  Unfortunately, the only option you have is to back off and “not throw your pearls before swine” (Matt 7:6).  Maybe someday she will change her attitude and be more receptive to God’s Word.  Until then, be cordial but as distant as you need to be to feel that you are keeping “good company” (1 Cor 15:33).

What I’m concerned about is the direction of our nation of Christians. My wife and I have studied Esther and Daniel recently and read about how Mordecai resisted Haman.  Also, in Daniel, Nebuchadnezzar summoned Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego; they resisted their king also.  In both Scriptures, these men stood up to the wicked leader and king because of their steadfast belief in God.

Do you think today that our church leaders should be teaching more about the end times, persecution of christians, and how to deal with the wicked government?

Sincerely,
Viva La Resistance

Dear Viva La Resistance,

The Bible is clear on what christians should do under all governments: pray for the leaders (1 Tim 2:1-2), honor rulers (1 Pet 2:17), pay taxes (Matt 22:21), and obey the laws (Rom 13:1-5).  All the examples you gave of rebellion against government were when the government asked righteous people to do something sinful.  Mordecai was asked to worship Haman (Est 3:2).  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were told to worship Nebuchadnezzar (Dan 3:12).  If the government ever asks christians to do something that is wrong – we must resist it.  When that happens, christians will be persecuted for their morals.  Preachers need to preach on those things, but it is important to know that wicked governments have always existed.  Corruption in a government is not a sign that the end of the world is coming.