Is looking at pornography adultery – whether it is everyday or occasionally?

Sincerely,
See No Evil

Dear See No Evil,

Viewing pornography is adultery in your heart.  Jesus makes it very clear that when you lust after a woman (or a man), you have committed adultery in your heart (Matt 5:27-28).  Though the actual sex act hasn’t occurred, the attitude and character that would commit such an act exists.  Pornography is addictive, evil, and in direct opposition to all that God teaches and stands for.  Flee from it (1 Cor 6:18).

We have a pastor for the last three years that will not communicate with me.  In three years, he has not had a conversation that has lasted six minutes.  Outside of our normal deacon meetings, he simply ignores speaking to me unless I speak to him.  I have had several members over the course of a year and half ask me why our pastor is frowning, not friendly, and downright rude.  Beyond this, his hospital visitation is superb, and his sermons and preparation are very good.  But he appears to be fed up with people in general.  He has been a pastor for twenty-seven years and is now sixty-one-years-old.  He gives behind the scenes and conducts himself professionally.  What can I do to get this pastor acting like he wants to be here or at least get him to speak to his senior deacon?  He has done nothing biblically incorrect.  I am not wanting him to leave, just to improve our relationship and others’.  Thank you for your consideration in responding to this question.

Sincerely,
On The Outs

Dear On The Outs,

Have you considered that the problem is rooted in the fact that having only one pastor is outside of the Bible pattern?  Pastors (also known as elders and bishops – Tit 1:5-7, Php 1:1) are the overseers of the church and should never be left to serve by themselves.  The Bible never gives examples of lone pastors; there is always a plurality (Acts 14:23).  1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 give the qualities a man must have in order to serve as a pastor.  We recommend you read “Elders” to see more scriptures on the topic.

We often have people write into the site with problems similar to yours.  We have found that the common thread is that when a man serves as a pastor and has that kind of authority without the checks and balances of other pastors – inevitably, there are problems.  Sometimes he becomes power hungry, sometimes he becomes lazy, sometimes he simply becomes indifferent… no matter what, the root cause is the same.  We would recommend your church adopt the Bible pattern of multiple pastors to lead the flock.  The closer we adhere to the Bible’s model for the church, the fewer problems we have.

What is the purpose of elders in the church today?

Sincerely,
Office Assessor

Dear Office Assessor,

Elders are the overseers of the church; they have the oversight of the local congregation (1 Tim 3:1 – ‘bishop’ means ‘one that oversees’).  Elders also go by the name ‘pastor’ or ‘shepherd’ because they take care of the flock of God (1 Pet 5:2).  Every church has its own elders (Acts 14:23), and every congregation must have more than one elder.  Any church that only has one pastor isn’t following the pattern found in the New Testament.  Pastors never govern alone.

Elders keep watch over the souls of those in the church, watching out for those who are wavering, strengthening the weak, etc.  They will give account to God for how they watched over the local church (Heb 13:17).  Not just anyone can be an elder.  1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 give the qualifications for elders.  Elders are older men who have proven themselves qualified to guide the church in a faithful manner.

The eldership of a church protects it from division, false teachers, and other various trials.  They are in charge of the church’s finances, class programs, preaching, and anything else that pertains to the local church.  Their job is to make sure that the church is faithfully adhering to the Bible and nothing else.

I hear a lot of people saying that men have authority: is that in a marriage, a relationship, just when the Bible speaks of authority… what is it referring to?

Sincerely,
What’s My Job?

Dear What’s My Job,

Men do not have authority in all situations, but they do have authority in some.  Men are authorized by God to be the leaders in the church assembly (1 Cor 14:34).  It is their job to lead prayers, lead singing, teach, and preach in the public church setting.  Men are also authorized to serve as elders, deacons, and preachers (1 Tim 3:2, 1 Tim 3:12, 1 Tim 2:12).

Men are also responsible to be leaders in a marriage (Eph 5:23).  Leadership in marriage does not mean bossing your wife around!  Being a leader means that he must set the tone and direction for the family and be spiritually responsible for his household.  The man must love his wife with a sacrificial love that always puts her first.  He must put the needs of the family above his own… just as Christ does for the church (Eph 5:25-29).

In short, all men are not in authority over all women… men only have specific authority in specific situations, such as marriage and the leadership of a local congregation.

My mother, a very good christian woman, went on to be with the Lord about a year ago.  This happening, I started attending her church.  The pastor there resigned.  He has been preaching at local churches.  I have been going to hear him.  He is truly a man of God.  My mother’s church doesn’t currently have a preacher.  I am a new christian; I have prayed about this, and my question is: am I wrong to go to where he is preaching?  I don’t feel wrong, but I have others who tell me that I have “preacher religion”, but I don’t know where to go.  Can you give me some insight?

Sincerely,
Visiting

Dear Visiting,

There is nothing wrong with going and visiting other faithful congregations to hear a preacher speak (you called this man a ‘pastor’; if all he is doing is preaching, he is a preacher – not a pastor).  Go right ahead and visit as long as you consider three principles:

1. He is a sound preacher that is faithfully preaching the truth and nothing else.  We recommend reading “Preacher Interrogation” and comparing his preaching to the simple questions we lay out in that article.
2. You are remaining a faithful and involved member of a congregation.  The Scriptures don’t ever give examples of “roving” christians.  Christians are supposed to be active and involved in helping a local congregation to grow, flourish, and serve God (Eph 4:16).  We are supposed to be servants in a local church (Rom 16:1).  If you are always visiting, you aren’t really involving yourself in the life of a local congregation.  There is a balance.
3. Make sure that the church you are attending is faithfully following God’s Word.  Not all churches are equal.  Jesus warned that there are many false teachers that are “wolves in sheep’s clothing” (Matt 7:15).  We recommend you read “Finding A Church” and compare the verses in that article to the behavior of any congregation you attend.

If you consider these principles found in the Scriptures, you will make a healthy decision.

In Genesis 22, Abraham goes to sacrifice Isaac.  The “do not kill” commandment was not established until later, but there must have been a moral law in effect during Abraham’s time.  How could Abraham think it was okay to sacrifice his son, Isaac?  How could God ask Abraham to, and by asking Abraham to, violate God’s own moral law?  How was any of it okay?  Why should we esteem Abraham as someone who did what was right?  I have struggled with this issue for quite some time.  Thank you!

Sincerely,
Why Do That?

Dear Why Do That,

Abraham is held in honor because he did what God commanded even when it went against every desire of his heart and character.  “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God” (Rom 10:17).  The most basic example of faith is to hear what God says and do it without wavering.  Abraham’s willingness to sacrifice his son is the epitome of faith.  That is why the Scriptures call Abraham the “father of the faithful” (Rom 4:16).

When Abraham took Isaac to be sacrificed, he trusted God completely.  God had promised Abraham that Isaac would be his legacy (Gen 17:19).  So when God told Abraham to kill Isaac… Abraham would have been very confused.  Rom 4:17-18 says that Abraham hoped and believed that God would raise Isaac from the dead.  Abraham trusted God to save his son’s life… he had total faith in God.  That is why Abraham is such a spectacular example of faith.

Abraham trusted that God would not command him to do anything that was sinful.  God knew that Abraham would never actually need to kill his son (God provided a alternative sacrifice at the last moment – Gen 22:11-13)… Abraham only knew that God wouldn’t lead him astray.