Well, I suppose my question would be this: we all sin after we find the saving grace of Jesus.  There are times when I have sinned again and again with the attitude “Jesus will forgive me”, so in my mind, I rationalized that it would be okay.  The Bible often talks of deliberate sin as sin that sends us to hell, but if you think about it, most of us deliberately sin all the time.  There was one point a few months ago where I felt so amazingly close to God, but I let sin get the best of me.  I have since repented of that sin and am no longer enslaved by it, but I feel like it was my last real chance at salvation, and I turned away from Him and towards the devil.  According to Hebrews 10:26-29 and Hebrews 6:4-6, there is no longer a “sacrifice for sins” for me because I deliberately sinned again and again after knowing the truth and being in love with God.  I guess because of these scriptures and various others, I question my salvation.  I don’t question my love for God.  I love God.  I want to serve God, but I question whether or not I have gone too far… whether I have left the reach of His grace and mercy because God is a just God.  When I consider Hebrews 12:16-17, I can’t help but feel that I have given up my inheritance (salvation) for food (the world) and that all my tears (repentance and sorrow) won’t bring it back.  I feel I have gone too far and that I have deliberately turned my back on God too many times.

Sincerely,
Can’t Go Home Again

Dear Can’t Go Home Again,

As long as you are still sucking wind, there is time to repent and return to God (2 Cor 6:2).  The final judgment won’t be made upon your soul until you die (Heb 9:27).  God is always ready to forgive (Ps 86:5).

You are right that many of our sins are deliberate sins, but that simply means we need to deliberately repent.  Your life may (at times) resemble the man who repented of the same sin seven times in one day, but you must also remember that that man was forgiven (Lk 17:4).  God isn’t searching for perfection, but He does want genuine and sincere confession of our sin (1 Jn 1:8-10).  God desires a broken and contrite heart (Ps 51:17).  God won’t be deceived (1 Cor 6:9); if we try and live a duplicitous life, He will condemn us (Matt 6:24).  Strive for perfection (knowing you won’t achieve it), and remember that the Lord knows your heart (Acts 1:24).

Hi.  I am twenty-nine years old and interested in a girl.  Problem is, she was once married, and her husband left her for another girl.  She said she doesn’t care if she ever steps into a church again.  To the best of my knowledge (although I read and look for answers for life in the Bible every day), I cannot get involved with her unless her husband dies.  Where do I go with this?  Is it a sure no-go thing?

Sincerely,
Love From Afar

Dear Love From Afar,

She had every right to get a divorce because he left her and committed adultery (Matt 5:32)… but her eligibility is only one of the things you should be concerned about.

You mentioned that she isn’t interested in religion.  You do not want to pursue a relationship with someone who is unwilling to serve Christ.  God warns against becoming tied to a mate whose values don’t equal yours (2 Cor 6:14).  When a christian looks for a spouse, they should search for someone they can marry “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  There is nothing wrong with building a friendship with this woman, but before it gets too close, make sure that your values match.  You will spend a lifetime with your spouse, but your relationship with the Lord will affect your eternity (Matt 16:26).

I have a friend, and her mother is for marriage immediately.  Meaning, if her daughters are having “relations” with a man, then they are required to marry him in her eyes… she believes that by marrying the man they sleep with, they might as well get married; it will look better in God’s eyes.  For example, her daughter returned home from a year in rehab, and after a month home, her daughter met a man and started a relationship.  Her daughter then started staying out late with him, and within two months they were living together, and her mother told them to marry to make it right in God’s eyes.  Four months later, they are now married.  I was taught that marriage is sacred and to only marry when you love the person and understand the commitment and are ready to take that step and be faithful for the rest of your life.  What does the Bible say about “when” to get married?  Is their mother wrong?  If so, how is she wrong?

Sincerely,
Timing Is Everything

Dear Timing Is Everything,

Their mother’s view is a lot better than just living in a sinful relationship.  People in romantic relationships have two options – marry or keep your hands off each other.  Marriage is a lifetime commitment (Rom 7:2).  God says that if two people are burning with passion for each other, it is better to marry than to sin (1 Cor 7:9).  Self-control is a highly prized virtue in God’s eyes (2 Pet 1:6), but if you are unable to show self-control, then it is better to get married.  No matter what, living together before marriage is fornication – it is a sin (1 Cor 6:18).  The only place for sex is within marriage (1 Cor 7:2).

I’ve been listening to the series of lessons Lowell has been preaching on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage.  As if things weren’t already confusing enough, when I was checking Lowell’s interpretation of Matthew 19:9, I noticed my New American Standard Bible simply says, “And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”  It includes a footnote saying, “Some early manuscripts add ‘and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.’”  I’m somewhat familiar with textual criticism, but usually I don’t worry too much about it because the debated passages don’t have major doctrinal implications.  This case seems a bit more significant to me.  How can I know which version is what was actually in the original Greek manuscript?

Sincerely,
It’s Greek To Me

Dear It’s Greek To Me,

There are two major texts that are used in Bible translations, the Nestle-Aland & United Bible Society Text (often referred to as the ‘NU’ text) and the Majority text (referred to as the ‘M’ text).  In Matt 19:9, the NU text doesn’t include the phrase “and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery”, but the M text does.  However, this doesn’t create any sort of doctrinal problem because in Matt 5:32, the NU text does include that phrase.  Therefore, even if the phrase isn’t included in Matt 19:9, it is in Matt 5:32.  No matter which version is the more accurate (and yes, that is a greatly debated topic), both include that phrase somewhere within the text.

Can you be baptized and not be saved?

Sincerely,
Water Worries

Dear Water Worries,

People are baptized all the time without being saved!  The word ‘baptism’ comes from the Greek word ‘baptizo’ which means ‘immersion’.  The word ‘baptism’ is the same word that Greeks used when a ship sank to the bottom of the ocean or when someone dove to the bottom of a swimming pool.  In the most technical sense, people are baptized when they take baths, go swimming, etc.  Taking a bath will baptize you, but it definitely won’t save you.

Baptism is only effective when it is done by faith (Col 2:12) and by the authority of Christ (Acts 2:38).  When we are immersed in water for the purpose of appealing to God for a clear conscience (1 Pet 3:21), then we are saved.  Baptism is only effective when combined with belief in Christ (Mk 16:16).

I put up with a lot when it comes to a certain person and his family.  Eventually, I completely cut everyone out of my life, and now I’m at peace… my question is: did I do the right thing by letting go?  Did I do the right thing by completely cutting everyone out of my life… or letting go the way I did, or am I supposed to continue to help and be there for them?  It’s hard for me to continue to associate with these people when, in reality, all I want to do is leave them in the past… especially when they go to the same church as I do.

Sincerely,
Cut It Out

Dear Cut It Out,

When dealing with trials amongst brethren, the biggest word we must watch out for is ‘bitterness’.  God warns us that bitterness creeps in and defiles us (Heb 12:15).  Bitterness destroys marriages (Col 3:19); it enslaves us (Acts 8:23); it changes the way we talk (Rom 3:14) and the way we think and feel (Jas 3:14).  If you are dealing with a fellow christian, there must be some redeeming quality within them that you could dwell upon (Php 4:8).  Be very careful to not close your heart off to others – if we won’t forgive, God won’t forgive us (Matt 6:14).  Bitterness comes across in the way we live – with all kindness, we recommend that you examine yourself (1 Cor 11:31) and see whether or not it may be time to soften your heart and let go (Eph 4:31-32).  Cutting yourself off from everyone in your life, especially the church, isn’t the answer.