When is all the misery going to go away?

Sincerely,
In Anguish

Dear In Anguish,

When we get home.  Some questions that we receive here at AYP really do break our hearts – perhaps none more than this one.  Suffering is one of the most poignant experiences of human existence, and all the great men and women of the Bible faced it.  David said that his bed swam with tears many nights (Ps 6:6-7).  He also said that his sorrow was continually before him (Ps 38:17).  Isa 53:3 calls Jesus the “Man of Sorrows”.  Suffering is a constant reminder that this world is not our home and that our spirits will someday rise upward to meet our God (Eccl 3:19-21).  All of God’s faithful are strangers and pilgrims on this planet (Heb 11:13).

We cannot imagine what you are going through; you alone know your heart’s grief (Pr 14:10).  There is hope.  Trials can make us stronger if we reach out to the Lord (Rom 5:3-5).  If there is anything we can do, or if we can put you in contact with a faithful congregation that could buoy you up and prepare you for heaven, please e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

     Does the Bible say anything about how a married couple should act after the kids have left home?  Is there any responsibility between the two to show affection or maintain a relationship?  Or can they part ways yet remain married under law?

Sincerely,
Growing Apart

Dear Growing Apart,

A godly marriage is not built upon raising children; raising children is built upon a godly marriage.  The marriage comes first, and then the children (Eph 5:31).  Before Adam and Eve had any children, they had a responsibility to one another.  Also, the Bible commands us to rejoice in our marriage even in our old age (Pr 5:18).  A husband and wife have a responsibility to one another regardless of the status or age of their children (1 Cor 7:1-3).  If a couple simply “parted ways” they may be fulfilling the letter of the law by remaining unmarried again (1 Cor 7:10-11), but it definitely would not be fulfilling the spirit of God’s intentions for marriage.

Is it a curse word when someone uses the words “By God” in a slang way?

Sincerely,
Word For Word

Dear Word For Word,

Using the Lord’s name in vain (Deu 5:11) is a matter of context and attitude.  God’s name is supposed to be treated with reverence (Heb 12:28).  Just like our earthly parents, our heavenly Father is deserving of respect (Heb 12:9).  We should only use His name when referring to something appropriate and when speaking with the utmost sincerity and seriousness.  God should be feared (Ps 111:10).  We are told to watch our lips and words (Ps 141:3).  Slang is typically used when we are speaking loosely and casually.  God’s name deserves more reverence than that.

There has been tension in my husband’s family for many years between him and his mother.  He has cut ties with her because no matter what he did, it was always wrong.  She has managed to convince his son that she (grandmother) is the victim.  Now his son is carrying the same attitude as his grandmother.  At what point do you stop trying?

Sincerely,
End Of Our Rope

Dear End Of Our Rope,

We stop trying to make a difference in our children’s lives when we are dead.  God tells us to never grow weary of doing good (2 Thess 3:13).  Never give up (Gal 6:9).  It may be that your husband’s influence over his son seems minor… but every child is affected by their parents (Heb 12:9).  Put the Lord first in everything (2 Cor 8:5), and let your lights shine brightly for your son to see (Php 2:15).  You never know what kind of influence you will have.

What do you do when your teen son tell you that he is the devil?

Sincerely,
Dodging Pitchforks

Dear Dodging Pitchforks,

Start praying he is wrong.  Of course, it is impossible for him to actually be the devil, but when people live sinful lives, they become children of the devil (Acts 13:10, 1 Jn 3:8).  The devil has only one tool at his disposal – lies (Jhn 8:44).  The greatest antidote to lies is truth.

Ask your son to reason with you and explain why he thinks he is the devil.  God is a big fan of calm, rational discourse (Isa 1:18).  We have no idea how likely it is for you to get your son to do this… but it never hurts to try.  Many times when people have to explain their beliefs, the nuttiness of their position becomes apparent to even them.  Darkness hates being brought to light (Jhn 3:20).  Ask your son to explain why he believes what he does; chances are, you won’t have to prove him wrong… he’ll do that himself.

What are the scriptures in the Bible about a christian backsliding into sin and wanting to repent and have a new relationship with God?

Sincerely,
A Fresh Start

Dear A Fresh Start,

There are several key verses that deal with backsliding and several more that deal with returning to God.  Heb 6:4-8 is the clearest passage on the danger of falling away from Christ.  Paul warns the Galatians about falling away (Gal 5:4), and the book of Hebrews says that we can fall away by drifting back into a life of sin (Heb 2:1).  If we return to old ways and faithless living after becoming christians, we have crucified Christ again (Heb 6:6).  Even Paul said that it was possible for him to become disqualified if he rejected christian living (1 Cor 9:27).

If someone falls away from Christ, they must repent and start living properly (Rev 2:5).  It is important to admit the sin and own up to our mistakes (1 Jn 1:9).  Christ is ready to forgive us innumerable times if we honestly seek Him (Matt 18:21-22).  As long as there is breath in our bodies, there is time to repent.  If you have fallen away, start over now and let today be your day of salvation (2 Cor 6:2).