Archive for the ‘RELATIONSHIPS’ Category


Monday, January 26th, 2015

     The Bible says in the old times men had two or three wives.  How can that be true because of the Ten Commandments?

Two Many

Dear Two Many,

The Ten Commandments, which are found in Ex. 20:1-17, never address the issue of polygamy and polygamy was part of life in the Old Testament.  The New Testament teaches that Christians should honor God through monogamy (1 Cor 7:1-2, 1 Tim 3:2).  There are scores of examples of monogamy being God’s preference for man:

  1. Adam & Eve were designed monogamously (Gen. 2:24).
  2. No polygamy existed until 7 generations after Adam (Gen 4:19).
  3. Noah, the last righteous man of his day, had only one wife (Gen 7:13).
  4. Qualification for an elder (Tit 1:6)
  5. Qualification for a deacon (1 Tim 3:12)
  6. Qualification for a worthy widow (1 Tim 5:9)
  7. Every New Testament command for a husband or wife assumes monogamy in the commandments (Mk 10:12, 1 Cor 7:3, Eph 5:33, etc.).
  8. The comparison of Christ and the church to a husband and wife relies on a monogamous design for marriage (Eph 5:22-23).

Fumbling Through Grief

Wednesday, January 21st, 2015

     My wife’s grandmother passed away a few months ago.  They were very close.  My wife came from a Baptist family.  When we met, I was able to show her the truth, and now she is a member of the Church; my heart was broken when she looked at me and asked me, “Is it wrong for me (my wife) to think my grandmother is in heaven?”  I didn’t know what to say.  We both know what the Bible says, and we know that no matter what, what we would like to believe is irrelevant.  The Bible still says we must be baptized.  How can I answer a question my wife already knows the answer to?  Does that make any sense?  What would you recommend the best way to word this answer?  It’s much harder than I thought.

Compassionate Husband

Dear Compassionate Husband,

Mourning is such a difficult process because grief isn’t logical; it is emotional.  The fact is that you don’t have to give your wife an answer at this time; sometimes the best comfort is what Job’s friends provided him with – quiet companionship (Job 2:13).  Sometimes all you need to say is, “I can’t imagine how much you are hurting at this time” and leave it at that.

However, if your wife looks for a more in-depth answer, God says that He finds no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezek 33:11).  That tells you that God will not send anyone to hell by accident, from spite, or out of malicious intent.  Anyone who ends up in hell really, truly belongs there, and all those who are meant to be in heaven will be there.  When your wife’s grandmother faces God on the Day of Judgment, God will make the right decision concerning her fate.  There is some comfort in knowing that God will not make any mistakes.

Designed By God

Tuesday, January 20th, 2015

What are the differences in modern day and Christian views of marriage/relationships?

Compare And Contrast

Dear Compare And Contrast,

There are a couple of big differences between the Scriptural view of marriage and the way modern culture views it.  The Bible says that marriage is more than just a tradition from previous generations; marriage was instituted and created by God at the very beginning (Gen 2:24).   God also teaches that living together and sexual relations are only for marriage (1 Cor 7:1-2).  All sexual relations outside of marriage are sinful.  Another major difference is that the Bible teaches that marriage is only designed between one man and one woman.  Homosexual “marriage” isn’t marriage at all (Rom 1:26-27).  God designed marriage to be a lifetime commitment between one man and one woman, and He never intended for divorce; even in a sinful world, God only permits Christians to divorce in very few narrow circumstances (Matt 19:9, 1 Cor 7:15).

God designed marriage to be a blessing (Pr 18:22), and when we take a biblical attitude toward marriage, it can be one of the greatest things this side of heaven.

Apology Unaccepted

Thursday, January 15th, 2015

     What do you do when you have hurt someone and have said you’re sorry, but they didn’t accept your apology?


Dear Penitent,

You accept that is where they are at and leave it be.  We are told to do everything we can to be at peace with others (Rom 12:18), but peace depends upon the actions of both parties.  You should still continue to pursue peace with this individual, but you can only do what you can do (Heb 12:14).

One Day At A Time

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

    My husband has become more and more abusive to me this past year; the climax was this last Saturday when he attacked me and grabbed me by the windpipe.  I left and am staying with my parents while he is starting counseling.  What verses could you give me to help me through this time? I feel very lost and do not understand why God would let me go through this.  I know He took care of me (I am safe and unharmed), but I don’t know where to turn to deal with this.

Thanks for everything you guys do.

Rattled Wife

Dear Rattled Wife,

We are so glad you are safe, and we are so very happy to hear that your husband is seeking counseling.  It sounds like you are moving in a positive direction out of a very dark place.  Whenever we are trying to understand why bad things happen, we have to remember that God built this world to be good.  We were the ones that shattered the utopia of Eden.  The Garden of Eden was perfect… Adam and Eve changed everything when they sinned (Gen 3:6-8).  Bad things happen because of their sin and all the sins that have followed.  Everyone is affected by sin – the sins we commit and the sins others commit.  God doesn’t want things to be like this forever.  That is exactly why He sent His own Son to die, so we could have hope of heaven where every tear will be wiped away, and there will be no more death or suffering (Rev 21:4).

As far as specific verses to give you comfort during this time, probably one of the most often read Psalms for comfort during troubles is the 23rd Psalm.  Another verse to find encouragement is Rom 8:28 which teaches that all things work together for good when we serve God.  Another is 1 Cor 10:13 which says that God won’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able.  Another comforting passage is Jer 29:11.  Jeremiah spoke these words to a nation that was in a very dark time and reminded Israel that when they served God, He had wonderful plans for their future.  If you place your trust in the Lord, He has wonderful plans for you, too.

Ms. Teacher

Thursday, January 8th, 2015

Was there a woman in the Bible that taught men the Word?

Teacher At Heart

Dear Teacher At Heart,

We have the example of Priscilla teaching and converting (Acts 18:24-26).  There is nothing wrong with a woman trying to teach and convert a man to Christ… but we must also remember that she does not have the authority to teach or have authority over men in the public church setting (1 Cor 14:34-35).  1 Tim 2:12 specifically prohibits Christian women from teaching Christian men in a congregational forum.  Women are not supposed to serve as public teachers in the worship service because men have the responsibility to lead the church in public teaching.  Elders (Tit 1:5-6), deacons (1 Tim 3:12), and preachers (2 Tim 2:2) are all required to be men.
The world has been changed by godly women standing up for the truth and living godly lives.  Paul mentions women ministering to others’ needs in Php 4:3, Rom 16:1, and Rom 16:3 – just to name a few.  We have the example of Lydia being a servant to the church (Acts 16:14).  We don’t know exactly what the women of Php. 4:2-3 were doing to help Paul, but we know they were working hard.  The church is full of women that are faithful, zealous, and valued servants.