My girlfriend’s mother’s best friend claims she has a gift from God and can see the future.  She does not like me and tells me and my girl’s family that I am going to hurt her and that I will lose her because of that… does this sound at all possible?  And if so, where in the Bible does it say anything about when you are saved that God will grant you unnatural abilities?  Because this is what she claims.

Sincerely,
Not A Bad Boyfriend

Dear Not A Bad Boyfriend,

Eccl. 8:7-8 says that mankind doesn’t have the ability to tell the future – it is a mystery to us.  There have been times that God gave prophets the ability to speak of the future, but the times of prophecies and visions are over.

Miraculous gifts were given to the first century church because they did not have the complete Bible as we do.  Miracles were a confirmation that those preaching were sent by God (Mk 16:20); they were how God bore witness that these men were His servants (Heb 2:2-4).  These miracles were necessary at that time, but now that the perfect Word of God has been completed, they are no longer needed (1 Cor 13:8-10).  We have all the prophecies of God written down, all the divine knowledge is in God’s Word, and the Bible is translated into every major language on the planet.

Your girlfriend’s mother’s best friend is either consciously or subconsciously deceiving herself and others – she can’t see the future, and she has no supernatural gifts.

      I was in supervision.  My job was high-pressured, and I was forced to step down.  Now, I feel alone, embarrassed, and I truly feel others were undermining me and disrespecting me.  How do I get my confidence back and feel better about working there?  God had to break me in order to get my attention.

Sincerely,
Feeling Demoted

Dear Feeling Demoted,

A righteous man may fall seven times, but he gets back up again (Pr 24:16).  We are defined more by how we accept failures than anything else.  The greatest athletes are those that can regroup and rally after a bad game or difficult quarter.  Humility is one of the most important traits in life (Jas 4:10).  The humble improve.  Think of this setback as a chance to focus on what really matters, and count your blessings.  We count them blessed who endured hardship when we read about them in the Bible (Jas 5:11).  Learn from your mistakes, forgive those who have harmed you, and be a shining light for Christ.  As a Christian, your worth is so much more than your job.  Christians have their hope of heaven as an anchor for their souls (Heb 6:19).

      I know that forgiving those who have hurt us is absolutely critical to be a follower of Jesus, but how can we know for sure if we have truly forgiven someone?

Sincerely,
Introspective

Dear Introspective,

The only way to know for sure is to examine yourself – something God says we should regularly do (1 Cor 11:28).  Forgiveness can often take time because we aren’t as good at it as God is, but there are a few signs that you are truly forgiving someone.

1. You aren’t embittered against them (Heb 12:15).  Bitterness is the product of holding grudges against someone and not letting go of your pain.  If you find yourself becoming an angry and embittered person – you probably need to work on forgiveness.
2. Are you trying to forget about the injury they caused?  God says that forgiveness means that you no longer remember the transgression (Heb 8:12).  This doesn’t mean that you have amnesia, but it means that you aren’t dwelling upon it and keeping records of injuries against you.

As we said, forgiveness can be very difficult, especially if the person has hurt you very deeply, but it is possible to grow and become a truly forgiving person.

Is using deadly force ever justifiable in defense of self or family?  If there were ever a situation where there was complete societal breakdown (no government or police), food and water became scarce, and armed looters and gangs searching for food became a real threat to your family, would you be morally responsible to defend your family by any means necessary?  Would God expect you to turn the other cheek or fight for survival?

Sincerely,
Getting Prepared

Dear Getting Prepared,

When the Bible commands us to not kill, the word used for ‘kill’ is the word that we would use for ‘murder.  Some of the most faithful men in the Bible were soldiers and had to kill people in the defense of their country.  David was a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam 13:14), and yet David killed many people as a soldier.  Jesus marveled at the faith of a centurion soldier (Matt 8:8-10).  The first Gentile convert was Cornelius, a well-known Roman soldier (Acts 10:22).  When a group of soldiers asked John the Baptist what they needed to do to live a faithful life, he told them to be honest and faithful… but he never told them to stop serving in the military (Lk 3:14).  These are all examples of the difference between murder and self-defense (or war-time killing).

In the Old Testament, God made specific rules that allowed an individual to kill if they were defending their home or family (Ex 22:2).  In Lk 22:35-39, Jesus tells His disciples that persecution will begin after He leaves and that they ought to “buy a sword” – this is certainly an endorsement of self-defense.  All of these point to the fact that God distinguishes between defensive force and vigilante murder.

My boss was “using” me at the office because he had a position of power, and his wife confronted me, and he played dumb about doing anything wrong.  He acts “holier than thou” and has everyone fooled.  I ended up having to quit my job that, I must say, I was pretty good at.  Will God take care of his selfishness on His own?  What scriptures can I read to help me?  He told me never to contact him ever again.  All he does is lie and use people for his own gain.  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Between Jobs

Dear Between Jobs,

God makes sure that everyone has to answer for the choices that they make in this life (1 Pet 4:5); this includes both you and your boss – the truth is bare before God.  Vengeance belongs to the Lord (Rom 12:19).  In the end, if you flee from sin (1 Cor 6:18) and seek God (Heb 7:25), things will work together for your good (Rom 8:28).  In the end, losing this job may be the best thing that ever happened to you – it certainly got you out of a spiritually perilous circumstance.  God will take care of your boss, and now you are free to seek the Lord without hindrance (Heb 11:6).

As a child, I was both molested and raped.  My maternal uncle molested me from the age of four, and the abuse continued until I was fourteen years old.  At the age of nine, I was raped by a sixteen-year-old.  I struggle with the forgiveness of these two every day.  I feel as though the anger, the resentment, and the hurt are holding me back in my life.  How can you forgive those who seemingly show no remorse for their actions and harm against another?

Sincerely,
Hurting

Dear Hurting,

In one sense, you do not need to forgive them if they aren’t repentant.  In another sense, forgiveness is important for you to heal and move forward in your life.  Let us explain what we mean.

Sometimes we use the word ‘forgive’ to mean that a debt is canceled (this is how the word is used in Rom 4:7, Eph 1:7, and many other passages).  This type of forgiveness requires the person to be repentant and remorseful for their bad behavior (1 Jn 1:9, Acts 8:22).  This type of forgiveness is not extended to everyone – but only those who confess their sin and show a desire to change.  From what you have said, this does not apply to your situation.

There is another biblical use for the word ‘forgive’.  Sometimes we use the word ‘forgive’ to mean ‘stop feeling resent and anger toward others’.  This type of forgiveness can be seen in Mk 11:25 and in Jesus’ plea in Lk 23:34.  Holding anger against others (even if deserved) turns into bitterness (Eph 4:31).  This type of grudge and resentment is like drinking  poison and expecting your enemy to be hurt… it never works.  You don’t have to justify the person’s behavior or attitude; you simply need to give yourself the freedom to move on without the burden of their choices.  Heb 10:30 says that vengeance belongs to God – you don’t need to worry about judging these men for their wicked behavior… there is no greater wrath than God’s.

We cannot imagine how much pain you are in, and we know that these few words are much easier said than done, but you are in our prayers as you continue on your journey to freedom from this oppression on your soul.  If we can help you find someone in your area to talk to and give faithful advice, we would be happy to do so (our e-mail is askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org), and of course, you are always welcome to ask us more questions at any time.