Hi.  I have a huge longing to repent and change my life.  One of the things holding me back is that I am afraid that if I take this new road that I will have to admit to people (that I love dearly) all the injustices I committed towards them, and this will hurt them dearly and for sure cause our relationships to deteriorate.  Is this part of the forgiveness process?  Is it a question of forgiving myself and asking God for forgiveness, or will I have to admit my sin to those that it might hurt?

 

Thank you and I hope that you can help.

Sincerely,
Ashamed

Dear Ashamed,

We must confess all of our sins to God (1 Jn 1:9) and be prepared to get help with our faults from other christians (Jas 5:16). When James talks about confessing sins to each other, he is talking in the context of prayer. His point is that when someone prays for you as you struggle with sin, that prayer will make an immense difference. He is not stating that you have to announce every single sin you have ever committed to each and every christian you meet.

There are definitely times to tell another person about your sin.

1. If you have sinned against them, you must admit it and ask for forgiveness (Lk 17:3-4).
2. If you believe the knowledge of your previous sin will help them (1 Tim 1:15-16).
3. If you are struggling with a sin and need help (Jas 5:16, Eccl 4:9).
4. If it would be deceptive to not reveal the sin (1 Jhn 1:8).

All of those situations constitute an appropriate time to confess your sins to another person. God doesn’t call us to parade our past sins before all we meet, but there is a time to own up to our faults before both man and God.  Now, it is also important to remember that confessing your sins is only part of the process of becoming a christian – if you have not yet done the five steps God gives us to become a christian, we recommend you read “Five Steps To Salvation“.

I was wondering if it should be counted as wrong if you are a christian and believe in heaven but use words that are considered bad on Earth.  I’m just confused because some of my christian friends use those words.

Sincerely,
Higher Vocabulary

Dear Higher Vocabulary,

Your friends are wrong for using foul language, and just because they call themselves christians doesn’t mean they can say whatever they want.  Eph 4:29 tells us to avoid all corrupt speech.  We need to avoid any and all language that sounds filthy or derogatory – this would include all swear words.

I have a friend who believes he has been given a responsibility from God and a desire from God, but they conflict, and he doesn’t know what to do.  I told him that one of them probably is not from God because God will not send us conflicting information.  Can you help me find some verses to help him?

Sincerely,
Wires Crossed

Dear Wires Crossed,

If we want to know God’s desire for our life, we must use the Bible to get our instructions.  Faith comes from the Word (Rom 10:17), and the Bible contains all the information we need for life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).  If we want to understand what God wants for us, we can find the truth in the sum of His Word (Ps 119:160).  Prophecies and visions are no longer given to people directly (1 Cor 13:8).  Instead, God speaks to us through the teachings of His Son (Heb 1:1).  It is normal for our emotions and desires to send us conflicting messages; that is exactly why God tells us to not trust ourselves (Pr 3:5).  Tell your friend to trust God’s Word, and it will be a lamp to his feet (Ps 119:105).

I work with a co-worker who claims to be an atheist.  There are a myriad of apologetic books that speak to these types of people and their claims.  However, I would like to seek your insights on how to best reason with this person.  In the process of talking with him, he has actually asked me to share Scriptures of encouragement that he could share with his girlfriend.  I have bought him his first Bible, Bible Dictionary, and a pamphlet on how to study the Bible, which he was moved by and gladly received.  I also offered to study with him, but he has not yet accepted my offer.  Still, he needs to be convinced that God is real and that we did not get here by accident.  Is there a simple format or practical approach I can use?

Sincerely,
Theist

Dear Theist,

Ironically, one of the best places to start with an atheist is to discuss their faith.  The relationship you mentioned sounds like it is a “talk when we can” sort of situation, and so it can be hard to cover anything in a systematic, step-by-step way.  Lord willing, you will eventually be able to have a sit-down class with this individual, but until then, you are really just trying to get him thinking about how important this issue is.

In the past, we have talked with our atheist friends about their faith, and it can really jar their eyes open.  Most atheists believe they don’t have faith, but this simply isn’t true.  An atheist cannot prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no God any more than you or I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is.  At some point, both the atheist and the theist have faith.  Faith is an inevitable element of life.  Anytime you trust something you can’t see, it is an act of faith (Heb 11:1).  When we take an aspirin, we have faith that it isn’t laced with arsenic.  When we drive, we have faith that the traffic light is telling the other lanes to stop when it tells us to go.  We visit restaurants because we have faith in the recommendation our friend gave us, and we buy houses based on our faith in the home inspector’s report.  Everyone lives by faith – this is an important aspect of life.  If your atheist friend had no faith, he couldn’t function in life.

This is a great place to start because when an atheist realizes that they already live by faith, you can begin to discuss the fact that faith is based off of evidence.  We believe in God because we have been given enough evidence that we can reasonably believe in His existence.  Read “Does God Exist?” for a basic list of evidences.  When an atheist begins to view their life as a life of faith, it changes the discussion from “science vs. religion” to “which faith do I choose?”.  In our humble opinion, this is a good, practical place to start.

I have gay friends; should I avoid them since it is a sin to be homosexual?  I feel God brings people into our lives for a reason; I don’t hide my religion or beliefs from them, but God has taught me to be accepting of all people.

Sincerely,
Friend To All

Dear Friend To All,

Christians are constantly trying to strike the balance between being lights to the world (Matt 5:14) and keeping themselves pure and undefiled from the world’s influences (Jas 1:27).  As long as we live on this planet, we will have trials (Jhn 16:33).  It is a fine line between being an influence and being corrupted by the world.  Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  It isn’t wrong to befriend someone who is living a homosexual lifestyle, just like it isn’t wrong to befriend someone who lies or uses bad language… but we must always be guarded in our relationships with those outside of Christ (2 Cor 6:14).  The Lord loves people but hates sin.  You should show love for these people in your life but still abhor their sinful choices (after all, those sins are destroying their souls!).  If you can influence a person for good, then do so.  If they are corrupting you and keeping you from being the best christian you can be, begin to distance yourself (Gal 5:1).  You may even deem it appropriate to tell the person why you are distancing yourself (1 Pet 3:15).  Maybe, just maybe, they will change if they are made aware of what their choices are costing them.

I am a member of Christ’s church (as was established in 33 AD).  I agree with all of the answers that you have given in this app, and I think it is a wonderful way of spreading God’s Word.  My question is one that was brought to me by a friend that I was studying with recently.  He is a sincere person and not a person that would make up stories that are false.  The story he told me put me in a bind because I have no clue how to explain that his imagination is getting the best of him without hurting his feelings.  He informed me that he had a dream that some voice said, “God has Satan by the snout.”  He then woke up and felt as though someone was grabbing his face and pressing his head sideways, and he could not move his body.  He says that he whispered Christ’s name, and the feeling went away, and he could once again move.  He is thoroughly convinced that he was physically attacked by a demon.  Please help me; I know what I believe on the subject but have no clue how to start explaining.  Most of all, I want to explain with God’s Word and as little of my own words as possible.

Sincerely,
In A Bind

Dear In A Bind,

It is always tricky to give an answer to someone who tells you, “I’m just sure I saw this or that!”… when you know it isn’t possible, but you don’t want to offend them.  We’ve been in the same predicament ourselves on many occasions, and ultimately, we try and do what you are doing – just point people toward the pertinent verses.  So here are some verses that you might bring up with your friend:

1. Jesus stopped the demons from having the ability to attack people or possess them.  In Matt 12:24-29, Jesus says that He came and “bound the strong man” (in reference to Satan) by casting out the demons.  When Jesus cast the demons out of people – He cast them out of people for good.  A good example of this is when Jesus cast the legion of demons out, and they begged to be cast into the pigs… this tells you Jesus not only cast demons out, He bound their future abilities at the same time (Mk 5:11-13).
2. When demons were cast out, it was considered a great victory over Satan.  Jesus gave seventy of His disciples authority to cast out demons, and when they returned to Him after visiting many cities, they rejoiced that they had cast many demons out (Lk 10:17).  Jesus answered their joy by telling them that Satan was falling because of their work (Lk 10:18).  In short, demon possession was becoming a thing of the past.
3. Regardless of how your friend feels about this particular incident, the key concept that you are trying to convey to him is that our faith needs to be based off of Scripture… not personal experience.  A key verse on this topic is Rom 10:17 – “faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God”.  Our salvation is dependent upon what the Bible says, not our own personal feelings and experiences which differ for each of us.

Hopefully, this is of some help to you.  You will have to decide when, where, and how to bring the topic up, but those verses are where we would start.