If a member of a church of Christ goes to a military branch, ends up fighting in a war, and kills men, will he still be a member of the church? And will he still be okay spiritually?

Sincerely,
Sgt. Unknown

Dear Sgt. Unknown,

There is nothing wrong with being a soldier; some of the most faithful men in the Bible were soldiers and had to kill people in the defense of their country.  David was a man after God’s own heart (1 Sam 13:14), and yet David killed many people as a soldier.  Jesus marveled at the faith of a centurion soldier (Matt 8:8-10).  The first Gentile convert was Cornelius, a well-known Roman soldier (Acts 10:22).  When a group of soldiers asked John the Baptist what they needed to do to live a faithful life, he told them to be honest and faithful… but he never told them to stop serving in the military (Lk 3:14).

Lord willing, most christian soldiers will never have to kill anyone, but if they did, it won’t be murder (read “Kill Or Be Killed” for more on that topic).  Being a soldier is an honorable profession.

Is the death penalty wrong? The Ten Commandments say “thou shalt not kill”.

Sincerely,
Life Preserver

Dear Life Preserver,

Let’s address the death penalty case first, and then we will look at the “thou shalt not kill” argument.  God has given the government the authority to issue capital punishment upon criminals.  God told Israel to stone wicked people in certain circumstances (Lev 20:27).  Paul says that God gives governments “the sword”; they are a minister of God and an avenger of wrath to those that do evil (Rom 13:4).

The Hebrew word used for ‘kill’ in the Ten Commandments literally means ‘murder’.  There is a difference between killing someone in self-defense and the intentional murder of another human being.  The Bible has plenty of examples of faithful people going to war (David killed Goliath in battle – 1 Sam 17:49-50).  The Bible is also full of examples of capital punishment for certain crimes (Num 15:35).  Num 35:15-16 makes a distinction between accidentally killing someone and murder.  A police officer may have to kill someone while serving the community, but that isn’t murder.  A government may have to execute a criminal to protect society and perform justice, but that isn’t murder.  “Thou shalt not kill” is a command for individuals (not governments) that prohibits the reckless and purposeful destruction of human life.

Can my boyfriend and I go before God and ask God to marry us without going to a church and receiving a piece of paper stating we are married? We don’t want to fornicate but want God to marry us.  We want the real thing.  I’ve been married two times before with a Justice of the Peace… but what could be better than going to God Himself to make our promise to keep regarding one another.  Will God bless us and consider us one?

Sincerely,
Without A Paper Trail

Dear Without A Paper Trail,

The problem with that kind of arrangement is that:

1. There is really no biblical precedent for being “married before God” and not married before the law and family.  Christians are supposed to obey the laws of the land (Rom 13:1-3).
2. You are putting yourselves in a position to look like you are living together without being married.  This means that you are sending the wrong message to mankind.  Christians are supposed to shine as lights in the world (Matt 5:16) and live a “good manner of life in Christ” that they may put to shame those who revile the name of Christ (1 Pet 3:16).
3. You are setting yourselves up to be deceptive.  When you file for taxes, are you going to say you aren’t married?

No matter how you slice it – it is better and biblical to be up front and legal before God and man.

Why does God command the people of Israel not to kill, but then He orders them to kill enemies of Israel… even the women, children, and livestock?  Then Jesus tells His disciples to “turn the other cheek.”  I haven’t been a christian for very long, but I’ve always been confused about this.

Sincerely,
Double Standard

Dear Double Standard,

The Hebrew word used for ‘kill’ in the Ten Commandments literally means ‘murder’.  There is a difference between killing someone in self-defense and pre-meditated, intentional murder of another human being.  The Bible has plenty of examples of faithful people going to war (David killed Goliath in battle – 1 Sam 17:49-50).  The Bible is also full of examples of capital punishment for certain crimes (Num 15:35).  Num 35:15-16 makes a distinction between accidentally killing someone and premeditated murder.  A police officer may have to kill someone while serving the community, but that isn’t murder.  There is a difference.

It is wrong for an individual to purposefully seek to harm another unless they are acting as an agent of the government (God has given national governments the authority to use ‘the sword’ of punishment – Rom 13:4) or reacting in self-defense.  God commanded the nation of Israel to kill in times of war, but He condemns vigilante murder.  The teaching of “turn the other cheek” (Matt 5:39) is an individual command that applies to everyday living.  The context has nothing to do with war-time actions.

My question is: are there limitations on telling a lie?  My wife and I have been separated for nineteen months.  My wife is in a relationship presently and seems to be happy even though we are not divorced.  I pay child support for our daughter.  She has asked me to refinance my home and lower the house payment in order for her to make the house payments.  In order to do this, the mortgage company requires that I live there… which will not happen.  If I refinance and answer the question correctly, I will be lying and committing fraud.  Yet, if I don’t, they will lose the house because they are not able to make the mortgage payment.  I want to do the right thing according to God’s Word.

Sincerely,
From The Outside Looking In

Dear From The Outside Looking In,

Lying is never right.  God tells us to be plain and honest people – let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’ (Matt 5:37).  Doing the right thing is hardest when it costs us something… but that is part of taking up our cross and following Christ (Matt 16:24).  Be honest with your wife (who should not be in a relationship with another man… but that is a separate issue), and make it clear that you cannot refinance a home you aren’t living in – that is the law.  Who knows, it may make room for you to have a conversation about reconciliation (1 Cor 7:10-11).

Yes, I was arrested years ago for something stupid; is being arrested a sin… even if it’s nothing?  Because cops where I lived will arrest you for anything.

Sincerely,
Convicted

Dear Convicted,

Being arrested isn’t a sin as long as you didn’t do anything wrong.  Paul was arrested for preaching the gospel (Acts 16:25) – so were the rest of the apostles (Acts 5:17-18).  If you are innocent, then there isn’t an issue.  We are told to obey the government’s regulations insomuch as they don’t contradict the Scriptures (1 Pet 2:13-14).  If you suffer as an innocent person, you will be rewarded by God (1 Pet 3:14) – but if you were arrested for a law you actually broke, it is a sin.