Was there a woman in the Bible that taught men the Word?

Sincerely,
Teacher At Heart

Dear Teacher At Heart,

We have the example of Priscilla teaching and converting (Acts 18:24-26).  There is nothing wrong with a woman trying to teach and convert a man to Christ… but we must also remember that she does not have the authority to teach or have authority over men in the public church setting (1 Cor 14:34-35).  1 Tim 2:12 specifically prohibits Christian women from teaching Christian men in a congregational forum.  Women are not supposed to serve as public teachers in the worship service because men have the responsibility to lead the church in public teaching.  Elders (Tit 1:5-6), deacons (1 Tim 3:12), and preachers (2 Tim 2:2) are all required to be men.
The world has been changed by godly women standing up for the truth and living godly lives.  Paul mentions women ministering to others’ needs in Php 4:3, Rom 16:1, and Rom 16:3 – just to name a few.  We have the example of Lydia being a servant to the church (Acts 16:14).  We don’t know exactly what the women of Php. 4:2-3 were doing to help Paul, but we know they were working hard.  The church is full of women that are faithful, zealous, and valued servants.

     What should I do to get over lost love?

Sincerely,
Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

It is always difficult when a romantic relationship ends, but God promises that if you serve Him, all things will work together for good in your life (Rom 8:28).  God tells us to not rush love and romantic relationships (Songs 8:4).  If you work on becoming the kind of person you ought to be, the Lord will bless you.  Make a decision to become a person prepared to serve God in whatever capacity He sees fit (2 Tim 2:21).  When you allow Christ to live in you, life turns out right (Gal 2:20).

I wanted to know if when you read I Timothy on the qualifications for a bishop, you read “…must be the husband of one wife” as excluding women from the office of a bishop.  I always understood that particular verse to address having more than one wife since Israel had practiced that in their history.  Also, the Scripture in I Corinthians as pertaining to women teaching was based on the Corinthian church at that time, etc.  I would love to hear your expanded thoughts on this.

Sincerely,
Ladies’ Lib

Dear Ladies’ Lib,

Pastors (Eph 4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  As you said, one of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming bishops.  People have tried to say that these verses are just cultural or that they only pertained to those particular churches, but there is nothing in the Bible that says that.  If we just take the Bible for what it says – elders must be men.

Everyone agrees that women can be servants in the church – the question isn’t whether women can serve; it is how they can serve.  Phoebe was a servant of the church (Rom 16:1) and was praised for her service.  Priscilla was also commended for her labor on behalf of the church (Rom 16:3).  The Bible clearly shows women working in the church and in a very positive way.  Women are seen serving in many capacities in the church, but they are never seen in positions of authority.  Women are forbidden from having authority over men in the church… they are also forbidden from publicly teaching men (1 Tim 2:12).  Women cannot be preachers or have positions within the church that allow them to have dominion (the word ‘dominion’ means ‘to have authority over’).  Women are encouraged to teach other women (Tit 2:3-5) but to take a less authoritative role than men within the church and family.  Paul explains the reason for this structure in 1 Tim 2:13.  Adam was created first, and Eve was created as his helper.   In both the family (Col 3:18-19) and the church (1 Cor 14:34), this principle is carried out.  Eve was no less valuable than Adam, but she was designed for a different role.

     My daughter thinks it’s okay for women to love women in a way that men and women are supposed to be in a relationship.  She tells me, “God is love,” and that’s what her relationship is, and she also believes that I am judging her.  I know that the devil has blinded her, and my heart aches because I raised my children in church, and I pray for her deliverance.  What do I do?

Sincerely,
Sick Over This

Dear Sick Over This,

If you are looking for verses to show your daughter on the subject of homosexuality, the clearest two in the New Testament are Rom 1:26-27 and Jude 1:7.  However, as you implied, the problem is more than just finding the verses; it is how to act toward a child that has chosen a sinful lifestyle.

There may not be any greater pain on this planet than the pain a parent feels on behalf of their children.  Whether your children have hurt you or you are watching your children hurt, it is a devastating heaviness upon your soul (Pr 10:1).

All you can ever do for your grown children is be a good example, pray for their souls, and stand firm in the truth.  Be that light of Christ that they need to see (Matt 5:14).  Hate the sin, but love them.  Sin causes pain in people’s lives, and hopefully, when that pain gets deep enough – they will choose to look to your example and the Lord’s Will for answers.

     My wife says she won’t be submissive; she says she never has and never will, and if that’s the way I think, maybe we should end our marriage.  She also says that submission was only a thing of that time period.  I want to live the best christian life that I can; what should I say or do?

Sincerely,
Too Aggressive?

Dear Too Aggressive,

The Bible never commands a husband to make his wife submit.  God commands husbands to love their wives and wives to submit to their husbands (Eph 5:24-25).  You cannot force your wife to submit to you, nor is it your job to do that.  She will answer to God for the choices she makes in your marriage, and you will answer to God for the choices you make.

Love your wife and care for her as you do your own body (Eph 5:28).  Don’t be embittered against her (Col 3:19).  These are the commands to a husband.  When you live a godly life and follow your responsibilities, you show her that there is another way to live.  When a husband lives up to his biblical responsibilities, he becomes a leader in his home.  When he does that, his wife has a leader worth following.

I’ve been just wondering about Deut 22:5; would you explain, please?  Is it okay to wear trousers because I’m just afraid; I don’t want to live a God-fearing life while wearing trousers only to be shunned out of heaven when time comes because I did not heed His warning on it, or does Deut 22:5 have a different meaning?  Thank you and God bless.

Sincerely,
Suited Up

Dear Suited Up,

Deut 22:5 teaches that a woman is not supposed to dress like a man, and a man is not supposed to dress like a woman.  Cross-dressing is a sin because men are not to behave effeminately (1 Cor 6:9), and similarly, women are not to behave in a masculine way.  Deut 22:5 is a generic teaching on the subject of men and women’s clothing that teaches a principle.

In today’s society, women wear pants all the time that are women’s pants.  They are designed for women, look like a woman should wear them, and would look decidedly inappropriate for a man to wear!  If a woman is wearing trousers that are feminine, she is fine.  However, if a man or a woman begins to dress in a way that clearly is against the natural design the Lord intended, that is a sin.

Did God make mistakes when he made homosexuals?  Why did Jesus not rebuke homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Looking For Answers

Dear Looking For Answers,

We’ll answer your second question first.  Jesus did rebuke homosexuality, but He didn’t do it specifically.  Jesus answered the question of homosexuality when He taught on marriage.  Jesus said that marriage was intended between a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-5).  Any sexual activity outside of God’s plan for marriage is fornication.  Homosexual behavior, pre-marital sex, adultery, etc. are all sinful and Jesus condemned them all when He taught the right way for men and women to behave.

Now let’s address the issue of people being made homosexual.  God doesn’t force anyone to act upon same-sex attractions, just like God doesn’t force an alcoholic to the bottle or a wrathful husband to strike his wife.  How we act is a choice, not a genetic equation.  There is a lot of debate over why some people have same-sex attractions, but at the end of the day, those temptations need to be mastered.  When Cain was angry, God told Cain to rule over sin or it would devour him (Gen 4:7).  Same-sex attractions are a temptation that stems from within a person, just like anger, unhealthy opposite-sex attractions, and a thousand other temptations (Jas 1:13-14).  The key is that there is always a way of escape from those unhealthy desires (1 Cor 10:13).  God didn’t make a mistake when creating us; it is when we turn from the path He has designed for us and follow our own desires (which are often unhealthy) that we sin (Jer 10:23).

    Recently, in the news, a boy brought a gun to school and shot his classmate.  The teacher asked him why he did it, and he said his classmate acted “too girly”.  Do you think that the christian church is perplexing young minds and making them do silly things like this?  Also, how should we teach a child about diversity and homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Coexist

Dear Coexist,

The church needs to teach what the Bible says, and the Bible says that homosexuality is wrong (Rom 1:26-27).  Is it right to shoot people because you disagree with them? Absolutely not.  Vengeance, judgment, life, and death belong to God – not us (Rom 12:19, 1 Pet 4:4-5).  The Bible doesn’t teach people to hate.  There are people who try and wield the Bible as a book of hatred, but when you read the Book yourself, it teaches forgiveness for sins, the love of God, and hope for the repentant sinner – this includes repentant homosexuals.

We should teach our children what the Bible says about men and women.  God designed marriage and sexual relations to be between one man and one woman (Gen 2:24, 1 Cor 7:1-2).  Homosexuality is a sin, but it is a sin that can be forgiven like any other.

     Why are women no longer required to cover their hair when they come into a church?  Are we being disrespectful to God and our husbands by not covering our hair?

Sincerely,
Lady In Wonder

Dear Lady In Wonder,

Women must always have their heads covered while praying (1 Cor 11:5), but God has built into every woman a permanent head-covering – her hair (1 Cor 11:15).  God designed men and women differently… this should be no surprise to anyone that has ever dealt with the opposite gender!  Men are to be the leaders in the home (Eph 5:23) and the church (Tit 1:5-6).  Women are the heart of the family (Tit 2:4-5), and men are not complete without them (1 Cor 11:12).  Both genders are equal heirs of salvation, but they are designed with different strengths and roles (1 Pet 3:7).  One way that God signifies this is by having men look different from women.  When women have long hair and men have short hair – it pleases God (1 Cor 11:14-15).  There are varying degrees of long and short hair, but ultimately – men are to look like men, and women are to look like women.  This principle is even borne out in the Old Testament (Deut 22:5).  The teachings of 1 Cor 11:1-16 are simply teaching that a woman’s long hair is a God-given covering for her head, and men are not to have that same covering due to their varying roles in leadership.

     What about a woman being ordained as a pastor, bishop, or an apostle?

Sincerely,
What About Women?

Dear What About Women,

Pastors (Eph 4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  One of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming pastors.

As far as being an apostle, all of the apostles have long since died.  An apostle had to be someone who personally saw Christ in the flesh and witnessed His resurrection (Acts 1:21-26).  There were twelve apostles, and they were all men (Matt 10:2-3).

     Is it sinful to become aroused? Or have sexual desires?

Sincerely,
Confused

Dear Confused,

Sexual desires are not wrong, but like all desires, they must be fulfilled in only righteous ways.  God designed men and women to be attracted to one another.  God even said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Gen 2:18)  God’s solution to Adam’s loneliness was marriage to Eve (Gen 2:24).  Sexual desires are normal, but we must guard against sinful temptations that are often associated with those desires – temptations like adultery, pornography, and other types of fornication.  We should flee from all those things (1 Cor 6:18).  However, the desires aren’t in and of themselves wrong; they are just designed to be fulfilled in marriage (1 Cor 7:1-2).

I am a woman, and an opening has come up to teach the teenage class in my congregation.  Upon mentioning my interest, one of the women said it probably wouldn’t be a good idea since there are boys in the class, and some members might have a problem with that.  When is a boy considered too old to be taught by a female in a church Bible class?

Sincerely,
Ready To Educate

Dear Ready To Educate,

The Scriptures are clear about a woman teaching a man – she can’t do it (1 Tim. 2:12). Your question doesn’t deal with a woman teaching a man. Instead, it is addressing when a male becomes a man. That issue is a much more difficult one because there is no exact answer. There are two parts to your question:

1. When do we recognize a boy as a man?
2. What should a congregation do in order to have harmony when a boy is baptized or is nearing adulthood?

The first question is easily answered – we don’t know. The Scriptures never say. Society recognizes eighteen as adult enough to be considered completely responsible for oneself. Even that is just an arbitrary number. In reality, every child matures at a different rate, and there is no magic moment of transition from childhood to adulthood. Everyone agrees a ten-year-old is a child and a twenty-year-old is an adult, but it is the ages in between that leave us scratching our heads.

The second question is an issue of dealing with opinions. Realistically, when a young person is baptized, some will consider him or her an instant adult; others will recognize it as a decision that shows maturity but not adulthood. Consequently, in the case of a boy, a congregation will have some that feel he can no longer have a woman Bible class teacher, and others will think it is still appropriate. Both views are an opinion, and we can’t stand hard and fast on either view. Rom 14:13 says that in such cases, we should do whatever will not cause division or hurt anyone’s conscience. If the congregation is being torn apart by a woman teaching a newly baptized boy, put him in a different class with a male teacher. If a woman has been teaching him and no longer feels she can do it in clear conscience, she should be allowed to recuse herself as his teacher. No matter what, in issues of opinion, peace and edification should be sought above all else (Rom 14:19). Wisdom will have to be used to decide what is the best course in each circumstance.

If being gay is a sin, why did God make gay people?

Sincerely,
Not Happy About It

Dear Not Happy About It,

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  You are not forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if you are born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – you aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice. There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.  
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may, in fact, have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

Is it a sin to wear pants?

Sincerely,
One Leg At A Time

Dear One Leg At A Time,

We are guessing that your question has to do with women wearing pants.  The Old Testament gives us the principle that women are to dress like women, and men are to dress like men (Deu 22:5).  This concept of men avoiding looking effeminate and women looking feminine is reiterated in the New Testament (1 Cor 6:9, 1 Tim 2:9).  In some cultures and time periods, only men wore/wear pants… other cultures have pants that are specifically tailored for women, and it would be quite noticeable and disturbing if men wore them!  The key is that men are to dress like men, and women are to dress like women.  Men should never look effeminate, and women aren’t to look masculine.  Culture and current fashion will dictate the specifics of what we wear, but the principle remains the same throughout all ages.

Sometimes I feel like the harder I try to keep my thoughts and my actions pure, the harder the devil works to try to put road blocks in the way.  I was raised in a christian home in which sex or any idea related to the naked human body was not discussed.  I have tried to do a better job of preparing my children for what they will be faced with as adults, but I really don’t want to expose them to too much.  I guess that I’m finding that the relationship between a man and a woman doesn’t seem to be a sacred relationship anymore.  Even some of my best “christian” friends make jokes or comments that seem offensive to me even around my children.  I guess my question: am I too uptight about this type of open discussion because of my upbringing, or is this type of banter something that we as christians should steer clear of?

Sincerely,
Mother Hoverer

Dear Mother Hoverer,

You aren’t crazy; the world and culture that we live in doesn’t treat the male and female relationship with respect, and that culture has bled into the church.  God warns christians against any sort of lewd jokes, crass language, or irreverent speech (Eph 4:29, Tit 2:7-8).  Heb 13:4 says that we should all hold the marriage relationship in a place of honor.  If anything that we say or do treats marriage as crass, common, or cheap – that is wrong.  We can’t tell you exactly where the line is between humorous banter and crass joking… but it is there, and we need to avoid that line.

The second part of your question deals with raising children.  You are wise to not expose your children to too much too quickly.  God tells us to train up our children in the way they should go (Pr 22:6).  Whenever you train someone, you start small and slowly introduce them to more complex issues as they learn.  That is how God would have us treat children – someday they will have to face all of these issues themselves, but until they are ready, parents are to be the filter through which they are introduced to the ethics and issues of life.

Will God still love me even if I turn out to be bisexual?

Sincerely,
Of Two Minds

Dear Of Two Minds,

God loves everyone, and He doesn’t desire any soul to perish (Ezek 18:23), but that doesn’t mean that you will go to heaven if you live a homosexual lifestyle.  The Bible clearly says that homosexual behavior is sinful (Jude 1:7).

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  You are not forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if you are born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – you aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice. There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.  
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may, in fact, have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).  The bottom line ­– you don’t have to be bisexual!  You can lead a life of fulfillment and holiness as God intended.

Is sex before marriage a sin and why?

Sincerely,
Unvowed

Dear Unvowed,

Sex before marriage is a sin.  From the very beginning, God designed marriage as the realm for sexual relations (Gen 2:24).  1 Cor 7:1-2 states that any relations outside of marriage are fornication.  God tells us to flee all fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  Even though sexual immorality is rampant in our culture and accepted by our society, that doesn’t make it right.  Christians are called to honor God and honor marriage by leaving the marriage bed pure and undefiled (Heb 13:4).

Is it wrong for christian teens to participate in school dances like prom and homecoming?

Sincerely,
Sock Hop

Dear Sock Hop,

The reason that many christian parents hesitate to encourage their kids go to prom, homecoming, and other school dances is that they often include activities that are sinful.  Modern dancing is designed to be sexually provocative, and it puts young men and women in compromising positions that nurture the sort of behavior and attitudes that lead to sexual immorality and unhealthy relationships.  Not all dancing is sinful (Eccl 3:4), but the kind of dancing encouraged at most school dances is not wholesome.  We are told to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18), to do things that are honorable (Rom 12:17), and to avoid even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:21-22).  School dances, at best, put teens in situations that don’t appear godly, and at worst, can lead to things like pre-marital sex.  When people engage in the type of dancing so often seen in today’s culture, they act in a way that appears indecent and gives room for the lust of the flesh to overpower them (Rom 6:12, 1 Jn 2:16).

Why are young girls so mean?  I never see any in church; they all go out and sin.  They all like bad things.  I remember reading in Matt 7:13 about the two gates; very few will enter into heaven, and many will enter in the gates of the bad places.  Therefore, what I understand, if I’m not wrong, is that more people will go down than up.

Sincerely,
Angry Boy

Dear Angry Boy,

Ummm, we know many faithful young women who love the Lord and are very godly… our congregation is chock full of women, young and old, that honor the Lord and are shining lights of faith.  You have obviously had some bad experiences with women, and we are very sorry for your suffering, but we would caution you against lambasting all girls in your frustration with a few.  A good way to create a hostile relationship between you and women is to start out by telling them that you think they are all mean!  God urges us to always be careful to bridle our tongues (Jas 1:26).  Be slow to speak, slow to wrath, and swift to hear (Jas 1:19).

It is true that many people will not make it to heaven – wide is the gate to destruction (Matt 7:13).  However, from the context of your question, it sounds like you are trying to say that all young girls will go to hell – that is obviously wrong.  Women are equal heirs of salvation (1 Pet 3:7), and the Bible gives many examples of amazing women who have changed the course of history through their faithfulness.

Is being gay wrong?

Sincerely,
Want To Know

Dear Want To Know,

Yes, homosexuality is a sin… no matter what society teaches.  The Bible is very clear on the subject of homosexuality.  Homosexuality is a perversion of the relationship God intended between a man and a woman (Rom 1:26-27).  Openly accepted homosexual lifestyles are a sign that a society has deeply diverged from Bible principles (Jude 1:7).  Homosexual urges should be fought and controlled just like we should repress the desire to be violent and show the self-control to watch how we speak.  An actively homosexual lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle.

Why should I wait for sex?

Sincerely,
Just Askin’

Dear Just Askin’,

There are two ways to answer your question.  One way to answer your question would be to list the thousands of statistics that describe how much healthier of a lifestyle monogamy is.  We could explain the risks of promiscuity and the increased failure rate of relationships that pursue intimacy before marriage.  There are studies far and wide that prove the healthiest, happiest, and most well-adjusted relationships are monogamous relationships that wait until marriage… but that isn’t the way we are going to answer your question because as compelling as secular studies are, they aren’t nearly as compelling as the Bible.

The other way to answer your question is to tell you that God says sex outside of marriage is a sin and that we should flee all fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  God designed that level of intimacy for marriage only (Eph 5:31).  Our Creator knows what is best for us, and His Bible says sex outside of marriage is a sin.  That is why you should wait.

I am the friend in the post “A Chosen Lifestyle“.  Will you give me some Bible verses to help beat homosexuality; please, I haven’t done anything else, but for some reason, this is hard.

Sincerely,
Befriended

Dear Befriended,

There is only one Bible answer for your struggle with homosexual pornography.  God tells us to flee from fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  A good example of fleeing fornication is Joseph when he was seduced by Potiphar’s wife.  Joseph knew that it was wrong for him to lay with another man’s wife (Gen 39:7-9), and so when she caught him alone in the house – Joseph fled so fast that he left his garment behind (Gen 39:11-12).  Don’t put yourself in situations that make it easy to look at pornography.  Move your computer to a public room; install accountability software like Covenant Eyes that discloses your browsing history to a trusted friend.  Make a plan to beat this sin… which brings us to another great verse.  When Daniel was tempted to eat the unclean food (food that was sinful for a Jew to eat) of the Babylonians, Daniel “purposed within his heart” that he would not defile himself (Dan 1:8).  That is exactly what you need to do.  Purpose in your heart, plan ahead, and decide that this behavior will no longer defile you.

I recently found out that my friend has looked at homosexual pornography.  He says that he is not this way, and he does not know why he does this.  He also says he has never done any other homosexual act.  Is this person homosexual, and what does he need to do?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Concerned Friend

Dear Concerned Friend,

From a Bible standpoint, being ‘homosexual’ means to ‘engage in sexually immoral behavior involving the same gender’.  Homosexuality is an activity and a choice.  The Bible clearly condemns an active homosexual lifestyle (Rom 1:26-27, Jude 1:7).  Homosexuality is like any other sin – you have a choice.  If someone wishes to not be homosexual, they need to stop engaging in homosexual behavior.  That is what your friend needs to do.  Paul praised the Corinthian church because some of the christians there had once been homosexual and had since repented of that sin (1 Cor 6:9-11).  We choose to sin, and we can choose to stop sinning.  God tells us to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18).  That is what your friend needs to do – FLEE.  Turn off the computer, run from activities associated with homosexuality, seek counseling if necessary (Pr 15:22), and pursue things that are wholesome and good (Php 4:8).  When we replace bad behavior with good behavior, we set ourselves up to successfully conquer our sins.

My friend has a very religious mother, and she thinks she likes women.  She wanted to know if it is a sin to be homosexual.

Sincerely,
Confused

Dear Confused,

Yes, homosexuality is a sin… no matter what society teaches.  The Bible is very clear on the subject of homosexuality.  Homosexuality is a perversion of the relationship God intended between a man and a woman (Rom 1:26-27).  Openly accepted homosexual lifestyles are a sign that a society has deeply diverged from Bible principles (Jude 1:7).  Homosexual urges should be fought and controlled just like we should repress the desire to be violent and show the self-control to watch how we speak.  An actively homosexual lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle.

What are some good Bible verses that tell us same-sex marriage/relationships are wrong?

Sincerely,
Looking For Bible Answers

Dear Looking For Bible Answers,

There are numerous verses that condemn homosexuality.  In the New Testament, 1 Cor 6:9 specifically states that homosexuals cannot inherit the kingdom.  Rom 1:26-27 says that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s natural design of men and women.  1 Cor 7:2 points out that marriage is intended for a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-6 also states this).  Jude 1:7 points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their homosexual behavior.  Those are some of the most forthright New Testament verses on the subject.

This is a very controversial topic, so feel free not to answer if you see fit.  I don’t believe homosexuality is right.   I feel it is sinful and wrong.  I was just wondering, as a religious official, what is your opinion?  And how could someone overcome such a battle?

Sincerely,
Taking A Stand

Dear Taking A Stand,

People may give mixed reviews on homosexuality, but the Bible is very clear – a homosexual lifestyle is a sinful lifestyle.  Rom 1:27 makes it clear that homosexuality is one of the deepest forms of depravity in this life.  Jude 1:7 makes it clear that God destroyed the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because the people “went after strange flesh”, i.e. homosexual behavior.  From the beginning, God designed romantic and physical relationships to be between one man and one woman – for life (Matt 19:4-6).  Any other type of relationship is wrong.

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  Nobody is forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if someone is born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – they aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice.  There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may in fact have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

If I watch a porn movie, could it keep me from going to heaven?

Sincerely,
Just One Viewing

Dear Just One Viewing,

Pornography is sinful, and it is popular because it is sinful.  Pornography is based upon lusting after people you aren’t married to (Matt 5:27-28).  Pornography is a lie that substitutes sexual fantasies for genuine marital love.  Pornography is wrong inside a marriage because it corrupts the marriage, and it is wrong outside of a marriage because it destroys any chance for healthy relationships.  Pornography is a sexual sin and can definitely keep you from going to heaven (1 Cor 6:9).  Furthermore, pornography has been found to be highly addictive – one viewing leads to another, leads to another, and eventually, your soul is capsized by this sin.

I live in an apartment complex, and the guy that works around here is a pastor.  About a week ago, he came to fix something in my house.  He is a married man, and he gave me a hug.  I am a single woman.  I have not been with a man in four years.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Tenant

Dear Tenant,

If you believe that there was more to the hug than just platonic kindness – you should make sure that you aren’t ever in a position to be alone with this man.  The problem with something like a hug is that it isn’t a definitively inappropriate gesture, but as a general rule, your “radar” is correct when you sense something wrong with a situation.  The Bible gives one command regarding sexual temptation – FLEE (1 Cor 6:18).  Sexual relations are only intended for a husband and a wife (1 Cor 7:1-2).  You are not married and should avoid all inappropriate relationships with this man.  Adultery and fornication only bring heartache and pain (Pr 5:3-6).

Hi.  I am single, and I am addicted to watching porn videos.  I was wondering if you had any tips for me.  I have tried to stop, but then I don’t know how to act, want to eat, or do anything.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Addicted

Dear Addicted,

We are told that a powerful tool in defeating sin is confessing our sins to one another (Jas 5:16).  Sin likes to be kept secret (Jhn 3:20), and bringing it to light by making it public goes a long way in defeating habitual sin.  A very popular way of getting this sort of accountability is by using accountability software that forwards your browsing history to a friend or trusted individual.  Companies like x3watch and CovenantEyes make accountability software, and many struggling pornography addicts have found it to make a huge difference.  If you want to defeat sin, you must expose it.  Confess your sin to others, and you will begin to see change.  It is time to get serious about removing this sin.  You know you are serious about defeating sin when you are willing to expose it at all costs.  That is the single most effective advice we could give you.  Some other details to consider:

1. Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  Stop spending time around others who are okay with this behavior and remove all illicit materials from your home.  Throwing away the pornography is a good first step to saving yourself from it (Matt 5:29)
2. Don’t give up.  A righteous man falls, but he keeps getting back up (Pr 24:16).  A failure doesn’t become permanent until you let it.  Keep trying.
3. Get help from others.  Trying to do things alone, especially when we’ve failed before, is just too hard.  We are stronger when we enlist the help of friends and family (Eccl 4:9-12).
4. Replace the bad habit with a good habit.  It isn’t enough to simply stop something; that void must be filled with something else that is positive (Lk 11:24-26).
5. Pray.  God blesses us when we turn to Him (Jas 5:16) and ask for forgiveness and help (Jas 1:5).

Now is your chance to start a new life free from this addictive slavery to pornography.  We would be happy to help you find a congregation in your area that can help you through this struggle and prepare you for a better and complete life in Christ.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org if we can be of service.

Please clarify the interpretation of 1 Corinthians 11:1-16.  In church, we are required to pray individually and corporately.  I see women in church and on T.V. ministries lead prayers and prophesy without head covering.  In 1 Cor 11:1, Paul says, ” Imitate me, just as I also imitate Christ”.  Verse two says, “… Keep the traditions just as I delivered them to you.”  Verse sixteen says, “But if anyone seems to be contentious, we have no such custom, nor do the churches of God.”

Sincerely,
Keep Your Hat On

Dear Keep Your Hat On,

Women must always have their heads covered while praying (1 Cor 11:5), but God has built into every woman a permanent head-covering – her hair (1 Cor 11:15).  God designed men and women differently… this should be no surprise to anyone that has ever dealt with the opposite gender!  Men are to be the leaders in the home (Eph 5:23) and the church (Tit 1:5-6).  Women are the heart of the family (Tit 2:4-5), and men are not complete without them (1 Cor 11:12).  Both genders are equal heirs of salvation, but they are designed with different strengths and roles (1 Pet 3:7).  One way that God signifies this is by having men look different from women.  When women have long hair and men have short hair – it pleases God (1 Cor 11:14-15).  There are varying degrees of long and short hair, but ultimately – men are to look like men, and women are to look like women.  This principle is even borne out in the Old Testament (Deu 22:5).  The teachings of 1 Cor 11:1-16 are simply teaching that a woman’s long hair is a God-given covering for her head, and men are not to have that same covering due to their varying roles in leadership.

I’m married with a family.  I have had feelings for men since I was younger.  I still do.  I’ve acted upon them a few times while married.

I don’t want a divorce, but I’m not sure I can handle the situation (and be faithful from here on out).

I am so tired…tired of being tired.

I’m to the point, sometimes, I just wish something bad would happen to me, so I don’t have to face the situation…and that scares me.

What do I do?

Sincerely,
Struggling Husband

Dear Struggling Husband,

Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon a lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may in fact have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

Nobody is forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if someone is born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – they aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice.  There is always a way of escape from sin.

Which brings us to our advice.  Your desire for men is exactly the same as any other addiction – and needs treatment.  There are groups that will help treat those trying to leave homosexual lifestyles (we would be happy to help get you in contact with a counselor near you).  It is possible to stop.  In fact, Paul noted that some of the christians of the first century used to be homosexuals (1 Cor 6:9-11).  The bottom line ­– you don’t have to be homosexual!  You can lead a life of fulfillment and holiness as God intended, a life far better than what you have experienced so far.

Can a woman be the head pastor of a church?  In the Bible, it says just the man.

Sincerely,
His And Her Roles

Dear His And Her Roles,

No.  Pastors (Eph 4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  One of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming pastors.

Furthermore, the Lord never designed the church to be led by one man… there is no such thing as a “head pastor” in the Bible.  In every New Testament congregation, the church is led by a plurality of elders (also known as pastors).  Pastors lead the church together.  Paul wrote to the elders in Philippi (Php 1:1).  He met with the elders in Ephesus (Acts 20:17).  Every congregation had elders to lead them (Acts 14:23).  There is no example of a single elder/pastor leading the church.  Multiple pastors shepherding the church avoids all the power being placed in the hands of one man.

Does it work for a christian to be a cheerleader?  Some people say it’s wrong, but I don’t know.

Sincerely,
Cheery Disposition

Dear Cheery Disposition,

The Bible never specifically says anything about cheerleading, but we can look at verses that may be pertinent.  There are certain things associated with cheerleading that must be considered before deciding whether or not it is appropriate.  The biggest issue to consider is modesty.  Many cheerleading uniforms are designed to be immodest – this is wrong (1 Tim 2:9).  Furthermore, many of the moves, kicks, and tosses involved in cheerleading inappropriately expose a cheerleader’s body and are meant to be sensual.  Cheerleading hasn’t always been this way, but unfortunately, in today’s society, cheerleading has become very inappropriate.  Pr 11:22 says that a godly woman should show discretion – cheerleading is often anything but discrete.  Instead of letting their inner character adorn them (1 Pet 3:3-4), many young women are being taught that beauty is only skin deep.  Modern cheerleading continues to further that shallow and ungodly worldview.

What does the Bible say about homosexuality?  Is it wrong?

Sincerely,
Truth Tracker

Dear Truth Tracker,

There are numerous verses that condemn homosexuality.  In the New Testament, 1 Cor 6:9 specifically states that homosexuals cannot inherit the kingdom.  Rom 1:26-27 says that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s natural design of men and women.  1 Cor 7:2 points out that marriage is intended for a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-6 also states this).  Jude 1:7 points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their homosexual behavior.  Those are some of the most forthright New Testament verses on the subject.

Where can I find scriptures about homosexuality in the Bible?  I know they are there, but I can’t find them.

Sincerely,
Hetero

Dear Hetero,

There are numerous verses that condemn homosexuality.  In the New Testament, 1 Cor 6:9 specifically states that homosexuals cannot inherit the kingdom.  Rom 1:26-27 says that homosexuality is a perversion of God’s natural design of men and women.  1 Cor 7:2 points out that marriage is intended for a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-6 also states this).  Jude 1:7 points out that Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed for their homosexual behavior.  Those are some of the most forthright New Testament verses on the subject.

I am a minister/evangelist and a widow with four children.  I have just reunited with a childhood sweetheart.  We haven’t seen each other in thirty years.  We have been intimate and want to get married in six months.  He is saved and a deacon at his church in another state.  He has been a member for twenty years.  I am relocating to his state.  Our main problem is that he will not compromise or is willing to change his church or denomination.  I really feel bad because I have fallen in love and want to be married again after twenty-three years of marriage to my late husband.  I have a call in my life to minister to women and children.  I want to be with him at his church, but I know it wouldn’t be long.  What do I do?  We need to clean up our act; I will not minister and treat God with disrespect in the pulpit.  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Perplexed

Dear Perplexed,

The best way for you to not treat God with disrespect in the pulpit would be to stay out of the pulpit.  You are worried about which denomination to be a part of, but all denominationalism is wrong (see “Down With Denominationalism” for further details).  You are worried about mistreating the pulpit by being married to a man of different religious views, but you ignore the fact that women aren’t supposed to be in the pulpit (1 Cor 14:34).  We here at AYP have a consistent record of showing patience with people who ask questions on this site, but just like our Lord taught… we have zero patience for those who profess to teach Christ but instead are hypocrites (Matt 23:13-15).  You say that you are an evangelist, and yet you ignore the most basic Bible teachings on men and women’s roles, the error of denominationalism (Eph 4:4-6), and depending on what you mean by “we have been intimate”, maybe even have ignored God’s teachings on marriage and sex (Heb 13:4).  Ma’am, you are no minister of Christ (Matt 7:21-23).

I have a question.  I was thinking about getting into modeling because my friend is into it, and she is trying to get me to.  She wants me to be a ring card girl with her, but my family said that it is a sin to show off my body like that and to be around that kind of environment.

Sincerely,
Looking For Career Advice

Dear Looking For Career Advice,

Your family is right.  The women that “prance” around boxing rings with the cards that indicate what round of the match it is are only there for one reason – to feed the lust of the flesh (1 Jn 2:16).  Dressing immodestly is a sin (1 Tim 2:9).  Furthermore, being around people that promote provocative sinful attitudes will corrupt you (1 Cor 15:33).  We are affected by those we are around, and our friendships and work environment either build us up or tear us down.  Listen to your family; they have your best interests in mind.

I feel I have lost faith in humanity.  Now, at the age of twenty-three, after going through some extremely challenging times and feeling deeply wounded, I find myself not developing relationships with others.  However, I have a strong relationship with God and have strong spiritual conviction.

In my past, I have never been able to trust men, and I fear returning to church because I know it’s set up in a patriarchal structure.  I feel like if I go back to the church, then I will have to be inferior to men and God, and I cannot accept that fate as I am a strong, loving woman and feel that gender should have no role in my relationship with God.  How can I restore my faith in humanity when I have suffered and endured so much and am continuously disappointed by the acts of others?

Sincerely,
Jaded

Dear Jaded,

Before you give up on mankind, remember something – God hasn’t given up on us.  Until God destroys this world with fiery judgment at the Second Coming, there is hope for people (2 Pet 3:7-9).  Even though many people are ungodly and uncaring (after all, the gate to destruction is wide – Matt 7:13), not everyone is that way.

Any religious groups that treat women as inferior aren’t reading their Bibles.  The Bible clearly states that women are equal heirs of life with men (1 Pet 3:7).  Men and women are different, but different doesn’t mean one is better than the other.  The Bible is the only great religious document to treat women with such esteem.  Two books of the Bible are named after women (Ruth and Esther).  An entire chapter of Proverbs is dedicated to the worth and wonder of godly women (Proverbs 31).  While the Koran, Dharma, and Veda all treat women as inferior… the Bible protects your rights and esteems your value.

It is impossible to serve God and not interact with people.  People are what Christ came to this earth for (Matt 28:18-20).  Christians are warned against forsaking the church and failing to gain and offer the encouragement that can be found in church services (Heb 10:24-25).  Christianity isn’t meant to be pursued alone… God put us on this earth together.  We can help you find a faithful church in your area.  We admit that many churches aren’t faithful and aren’t trustworthy, but just because false teachers have let you down, that doesn’t mean you stop looking.  Searching for a Bible-fearing congregation is part of what hungering and thirsting for righteousness is all about (Matt 5:6).  Maybe, just maybe, all your struggles have been leading up to this moment when you could find us, and we could help you find people who love the Lord as much as you do.  You never know until you try.  Our e-mail is askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we are happy to help.

My fiancée looks at porn, and I tell him that it’s wrong in the Lord’s eyes.  When I say that, he thinks I’m getting weird on him and says that it’s not like he can ever meet these girls.  How can I tell him that it’s still wrong?

Sincerely,
Appalled

Dear Appalled,

Your fiancée has a major problem with sexual sin.  God tells us to flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18) and that it is wrong for a man to lust after a woman (Matt 5:28).  His major sexual problem will very quickly become your major problem if you marry him while he still holds these views.  We cannot stress enough that you should think very carefully about marrying someone who will not cherish you as his one and only (Eph 5:33, 1 Cor 7:2).

I have a lot of questions concerning marriage.  I have studied the verses about marriage a lot, but there are a few things I am still unsure of.  I know God’s structure for marriage (Eph 5:22-33, Col 3:18-19, etc.), and I do, in many ways, think it is beautiful.  I also know that God’s Word is truth and that whatever He says is ultimately best for me (psalm 119:1-3), so the structure He has set up is the most ideal structure for marriage.

My question then is about what scares me, as a woman – that I have to trust someone with that kind of authority over me.  It seems unfair almost because I know that I am a capable person, so why must I be the one to submit simply because I am a woman?  A part of me feels bad questioning this because I feel like this should not rub me the wrong way the same way it does not appear to bother many of my married friends and older women that I have spoken with… but simply stated: it does bother me.  I feel guilty for not instantly wanting to do things God’s way, but asking for this kind of trust in someone almost seems unreal to me.  The most important thing for me is to do things God’s way, but I would like to know if there is any advice you could give me to make this easier.

On the same note, I feel very conflicted because I want to pursue a career and am currently in school for it.  I won’t graduate until I am twenty-two, and I know if I graduate, I will want to then work in the field I studied and worked hard to be certified in.  On the other hand, I am with someone, and we plan on getting married, and I would want to start a family with him closer to twenty than thirty… I guess what I am trying to explain is it has always been my dream to complete school and follow my career, but I also want a family.  I worry sometimes that maybe I am in the wrong for “not wanting all the things a woman should want” but for wanting a career too; at least, that is how every young ladies’ and women’s class has ever made me feel.

I want to do things God’s way, but I also want to be able to pursue my dreams, and it has, in turn, created a very big conflict in my life.  I would deeply appreciate your thoughts.

Sincerely,
Torn

Dear Torn,

The short answer to your question is: you have choices, and peace comes from knowing that whatever decisions are made are yours.  We really appreciate your forthrightness and humility; your struggle is actually the unseen struggle of many women.  Don’t take to heart what other women appear to think or feel about this subject; each heart knows its own burdens (Pr 14:10), and outward appearances can be deceiving.

You admit that God’s plan is for a husband to be the head of the household and for a wife to submit to his leadership (Eph 5:22-23), but the part of the equation you aren’t factoring in is that you get to choose who you enter into that agreement with.  In fact, there is nothing wrong with never marrying at all (Matt 19:12), and the unmarried are blessed with the benefit of being unburdened from a great deal of cares and responsibilities (1 Cor 7:32-35).  No one (including the Lord) is forcing you to be married.  Marriage brings untold benefits, but it comes with responsibilities and burdens that some do not wish to shoulder.  Men who marry must give up pursuits and freedoms, so they may provide for a family – just as much as women make sacrifices to be wives.  In the end, there is no sin in remaining unmarried or in getting married… merely consequences for both paths.

Secondly, every godly woman that submits to a husband does so of her own volition.  Whomever you marry will be your choice.  It isn’t as if you must marry the first ape-ish brute that comes down the pike.  God clearly wants you to pick a man that will love you and value your thoughts and help (Eph 5:25).  After all, God intended for Eve to be a help to Adam (Gen 2:18).  Don’t say, “I do” until you have found a man that loves the Lord, cherishes you, and values your worth.

As far as a career goes, we won’t beat around the bush – God wants the wife to be a worker at home first (Tit 2:5).  If you choose to get married and have a family, your husband and children need you as a worker at home first and foremost because raising the next godly generation is the most valuable and vital profession anyone could ever undertake.  However, many women (including the worthy woman of Proverbs 31) have found ways to fulfill their desires for work in the community either after the children are grown or in more creative ways from home.  You may find the skill sets you have acquired for your chosen career may provide you with abilities that are exceptionally useful in the home and in the church… only time will tell.

Every decision we make in life has consequences.  Every path chosen leaves a dozen other paths left untrodden.  Just remember, whatever your decision is, it is your choice to make (Eccl 11:9).

Please settle this debate for my husband and me.  Clarify to him that a woman that takes her clothes off for money is sinning and what commandment this falls under.  Please help me make him understand.  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Grieving Wife

Dear Grieving Wife,

It is a sin for a man to lust after a woman that isn’t his wife (Matt 5:27-28), and it is a sin for a woman to purposely tempt men with their bodies (Pr 23:27).  Read Pr 7:10-24 to understand the evil of women that sell (or give away) their bodies for viewing to men other than their husbands.  Nakedness is meant to be reserved for a marriage (Heb 13:4).  Uncovering your nakedness is a shameful thing (Ezek 23:18, Rev 16:15).  A man is designed and commanded by God to take joy in the wife of his youth (Pr 5:18)… and no other (Matt 18:9).

What is the role of elders?  Can women be elders?  Why or why not?

Sincerely,
Quality Control

Dear Quality Control,

Elders are the superintendents of a local congregation, and they are always men.The word elder is one title to describe the leaders of a local church. Other titles include ‘overseer/bishop’ (depending on translation – 1 Tim 3:1) and ‘pastor’ (Eph 4:11). The title of the job explains their role. They have the oversight of God’s people. That oversight only extends to one congregation (1 Pet 5:2), the local congregation that they are among. Each congregation has elders appointed in it (Acts 14:23).

Elders must meet strict requirements before they are appointed. Those qualifications can be found in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. Elders are always referred to by the pronouns ‘he’ and ‘him’ – thus making them men. Also, one of the qualifications is that they be ‘a husband of one wife’ (Titus 1:6) which makes it pretty clear we are talking about men. Elders also never serve alone.  All the churches in the Bible had multiple elders. Elders serve an important role of protecting, leading, and guiding the direction of a congregation. They will give an account for every christian in their congregation (Heb 13:17). A congregation should never take lightly the responsibility of appointing only completely qualified elders.

I have been talking to this guy for about seven months now.  We live in different cities.  I have fallen in love with him, and he has with me, too.  Here is the problem: he is married, but the two have never lived in the same house, shared debts, supported each other, and her family has him followed and is always putting him down.  Yes, they have had relations, and he wants a divorce but doesn’t believe he has biblical grounds to do so.  Does he have grounds to divorce her and marry me (which is what he wants to do in his heart, but he is afraid that if we do, then we are committing adultery, but he already has done that in his heart and isn’t sorry that he has fallen in love with me)?  I need help fast.

Sincerely,
Not His Wife

Dear Not His Wife,

He has absolutely no grounds to divorce her, and any level of romantic relationship that you two share is sinful and dangerous.  Regardless of the state of his marriage… he is married.  The fact that he has been rationalizing an extramarital affair for the last seven months hasn’t made it right.  It is important to realize that following your heart isn’t the same as doing the right thing (Pr 12:15).  In fact, doing the right thing is often a matter of doing the exact opposite of what we want to do (Matt 16:24).

If you choose to willfully sin, your soul is in eternal peril (Heb 10:26).  The best thing you can do for yourself and for him is to cut this relationship off.  There are many wonderful men in this world that you may pursue that won’t send you to hell.

My husband looks at other women and has even done so on the internet.  He says all men do it and that they even lust, but we both know lusting is wrong.  Can you please tell me from the standpoint of a godly man… have you lusted?

Sincerely,
Jealous Wife

Dear Jealous Wife,

All human beings struggle with lust, but the operative word is struggle.  Your husband is using the fact that all people sin as an excuse to continue sinning.  Lusting after women that you aren’t married to is adultery in your heart (Matt 5:27-28).  Your husband needs to make a heartfelt decision to repent of this sin (Acts 3:19).  The word ‘repent’ means to ‘change your mind’.  He is currently embracing this sin by looking at women on the internet; he needs to start struggling with this dark temptation.

Is pornography bad?  Why is it so popular?  Is it wrong to watch if you’re married?  Where can I find a verse on this matter in the Bible?

Sincerely,
See No Evil

Dear See No Evil,

Pornography is sinful, and it is popular because it is sinful.  Pornography is based upon lusting after people you aren’t married to (Matt 5:27-28).  Pornography is a lie that substitutes sexual fantasies for genuine marital love.  Pornography is wrong inside a marriage because it corrupts the marriage, and it is wrong outside of a marriage because it destroys any chance of healthy relationships.

We have other ministers (who are women), and his [the pastor] feelings about women seem to be not ones of love.  Our church voted to ordain these women before he came, but he has blocked this.

Sincerely,
Not Feeling The Love

Dear Not Feeling The Love,

Just one more nail in the coffin for this congregation.  The role of women in the church is a very sensitive issue, which is why it is so important to carefully study the Scriptures on the topic.  Our behavior should always be guided by what God says, not by our personal agendas or emotions.  After clearly lambasting this “pastor” in the previous posts, we find ourselves in the odd position of agreeing with him.  Women should not be ministers.  1 Tim 2:12 very clearly states that women should not be preachers or ministers.  1 Cor 14:34-35 further clarifies that public teaching in the church is not a role for women.  Regardless of how politically incorrect that stance may be… that is what the Bible says.  The congregation you are attending is sinning by having women ministers.  It is time for you to find a faithful church because this church isn’t one.  We would be happy to help you find a congregation in your area – simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will help track down a scripturally sound, Bible-following, God-fearing congregation near you.

Local churches must be incorporated to receive tax exempt status. They then must select officers to comply with the law.  My question is: can a woman be selected as an officer, specifically the office of treasurer and then engage in doing all of the tasks required of a treasurer to conduct the church business? Some say it’s fine – if she only fulfils the responsibilities delegated to her by the trustees, in this case all men.  Others say no, it’s a position of authority, and unscriptural, as men are to hold those offices.  I’d like a Bible answer, book(s), chapter(s), and verse(s), as this question is effecting the work of a new congregation that I am a part of.

Sincerely,
Officer Ignorant

Dear Officer Ignorant,

Everyone agrees that women can be servants in the church – the question isn’t whether women can serve; it is how they can serve.  Phoebe was a servant of the church (Rom 16:1) and was praised for her service.  Priscilla was also commended for her labor on behalf of the church (Rom 16:3).  The Bible clearly shows women working in the church and in a very positive way.

To answer your question, we need to look at what positions women are forbidden from taking in the church and what the leadership structure of the church looks like.  Let’s take a look at the leadership structure of a congregation first.

The early church was led by the apostles.  In the very beginnings of the church, the apostles were in charge of all the teaching (Acts 2:42) and daily affairs of the church (Acts 4:34-37).  Eventually, the work became so immense that the apostles began to delegate some of the responsibility to qualified men (Acts 6:1-4 shows the apostles appointing men to have authority over the daily distribution of bread to christian widows).  The system of the apostles being in charge and delegating some of their authority to others would eventually no longer work because the apostles were only twelve men.  How would the church function once they were gone?

The answer is ‘elders’.  The apostles eventually began to appoint elders in every congregation and then commended those elderships to lead in a godly way (Acts 14:23).  Not just anyone could become an elder – 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9 give the qualifications for elders.  One of those qualifications is that an elder must be a man.  Elders have ultimate oversight of a congregation.  Elders are in charge of everything that occurs within a local church (Heb 13:17).  However, just like the apostles before them, elders have a right to appoint deacons to help handle various tasks.  The elders are ultimately in charge, but deacons are given a certain level of authority over others as the elders see fit (1 Tim 3:13).  Deacons also are required to be men (1 Tim 3:12).  Elders and deacons are always men and they are the only ones allowed to have authority over others within a local congregation.

As we mentioned before, women are seen serving in many capacities in the church, but they are never seen in positions of authority.  Women are forbidden from having authority over men in the church… they are also forbidden from publicly teaching men (1 Tim 2:12).  Women cannot be preachers or have positions within the church that allow them to have dominion (the word ‘dominion’ means ‘act on their own authority over’).  Women are encouraged to teach other women (Tit 2:3-5) but to take a less authoritative role than men within the church and family.

This is a very long answer to your question, but your question needed a lengthy answer.  If the role of treasurer is a position where this woman will be making decisions and governing men within the church, then she cannot be the treasurer.  However, if the treasurer doesn’t make any decisions that are usurping the authority of the men of the congregation, she can serve.  Once again, women can (and should) be servants in the church as long as:

1. They aren’t publicly preaching and teaching to men.
2. They aren’t in positions of dominion above men.

Paul explains the reason for this structure in 1 Tim 2:13.  Adam was created first, and Eve was created as his helper.   In both the family (Col 3:18-19) and the church (1 Cor 14:34), this principle is carried out.  Eve was no less valuable than Adam, but she was designed for a different role.

I would like to thank you for this service.  Please be patient while I ask three questions.

When Paul encourages those “yoke fellows” in Philippians 4:3 to “help those women which labored with me in the gospel”, how were the women laboring with Paul?  I have read Wesleyan and Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentaries, and both allude to the women mentioned as “laborers”… but in a limited scope based on 1 Tim 2:11-12.  JF-Brown states that they were limited and alluded to them being in a less prominent sphere; which brings me to my next question:

Is there Scriptural support for women being in a prominent sphere in ministry (i.e. teaching, preaching, apostleship, etc.)?

My last question is: does 1 Tim 2:12 refer to women in a ministerial role at a church?  I anxiously await your reply.

Sincerely,
What About The Ladies?

Dear What About The Ladies,

The church is full of women that are faithful, zealous, and needed servants.  Paul mentions women ministering to others’ needs in Php 4:3, Rom 16:1, and Rom 16:3 – just to name a few.  We have the example of Lydia being a servant to the church (Acts 16:14).  We also have the example of Priscilla teaching and converting (Acts 18:24-26).  We don’t know exactly what the women of Php. 4:2-3 were doing to help Paul, but we know they were working hard.  They are many ways to help the cause of Christ, and it never specifies what specific things Euodia and Syntyche were doing to help the church.

Having said that, we do know what they weren’t doing.  Paul specifically mentions that women are to keep silent in the church assembly (1 Cor 14:34-35).  Women are not supposed to serve as public teachers in the worship service because men have the responsibility to lead the church in public teaching.  Elders (Tit 1:5-6), deacons (1 Tim 3:12), and preachers (2 Tim 2:2) are all required to be men.  1 Tim 2:12 specifically prohibits christian women from teaching christian men in a congregational forum.

As a christian lady, would it be inappropriate to slap a worldly man in the face when spoken to in a provocative, evil manner?

Sincerely,
Talk To The Hand

Dear Talk To The Hand,

It would probably be best if you walked away.  The Lord tells us to turn the other cheek… not slap the other cheek (Matt 5:39).  Christians should never resort to violence to solve problems; that is the way of the world (Gen 6:11).  Christians should be known as peacemakers (Matt 5:9).  Be angry, but don’t let that anger turn into bad behavior (Eph 4:26).  Show them you are a lady by kindly and quietly removing yourself from such vulgar company.

Can a woman be a pastor?  Please provide me with verses that back up your answer.  Be blessed.

Sincerely,
Lady In Waiting

Dear Lady In Waiting,

No.  Pastors (Eph4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  One of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming pastors.