I have had a very tough life since childhood.  I am thirty-three years old now and still find life difficult.  Could you please tell me why God allows this to happen?

Sincerely,
Constantly Struggling

Dear Constantly Struggling,

Some people suffer greatly, and others face relatively few problems.  All suffering is a consequence of sin in this world, but there are several reasons that someone might have a greater portion of trials.

1. We reap what is sown (Gal 6:7-8).  The choices we make have consequences in this life – and in the next.  What people do affects them and those around them that they come in contact with.  When we behave godly, certain things happen; when we behave sinfully, other things happen.  That is a universal principle of life.  If a woman drinks while she is pregnant or a child is neglected and malnourished because of ungodly parents – they will suffer the consequences of the choices their parents make.  Some children face health issues that were totally avoidable if the parents had simply lived moral lives.  Satan is sowing disaster wherever he can and we are all affected by our own choices and the choices of others around us.
2. Sometimes bad things simply happen because they happen.  Job suffered greatly, and his children died, but it wasn’t his (or their) fault.  Job hadn’t done anything wrong, nor had his kids.  It all happened because Satan wanted to do evil (Job 1:6).  As long as we live in this world of sin, there will be troubles.  Sometimes, there isn’t anyone at fault… just time and chance wreaking havoc in a sinful world (Eccl 9:11).
3. Sometimes people suffer so that God can be glorified.  Jesus’ disciples asked Him why a certain man had been born blind, and Jesus answered, “So that God’s works might be revealed in him.” (Jhn 9:1-3)  This man’s ailment provided an opportunity for God to show His glory.  There are times that we suffer, so God can teach us and teach others through our pain (Eccl 7:2-3).

This world isn’t fair – if it were, it would be heaven.  Instead, we live in a fallen world where man has been exiled from paradise.  This world is not our home; christians await a better world (Heb 11:16).  When Adam and Eve sinned, they introduced sin and death into this life, but God designed this world perfectly and gives us hope for a better future in Jesus (1 Cor 15:22).

Does the Bible ever say we’re made in God’s physical form, or could He mean we’re made in the likeness of Him via emotions, not physical… love, hate, anger, jealousy, revenge, etc.?  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Want To Be Like Him

Dear Want To Be Like Him,

We are made in God’s image – but it is our spirit that is crafted in His image, not our bodies.  Jhn 4:24 says that God is spiritual, not physical.  God existed long before the physical world ever did (Gen 1:1).  Our spirits are fashioned after our Heavenly Father, and long after our bodies decay, our spirits will live on.

     If you believe in God and commit suicide, would you go to hell?

Sincerely,
Damage Calculator

Dear Damage Calculator,

Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide.  Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness.  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

     What should I do to get over lost love?

Sincerely,
Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken,

It is always difficult when a romantic relationship ends, but God promises that if you serve Him, all things will work together for good in your life (Rom 8:28).  God tells us to not rush love and romantic relationships (Songs 8:4).  If you work on becoming the kind of person you ought to be, the Lord will bless you.  Make a decision to become a person prepared to serve God in whatever capacity He sees fit (2 Tim 2:21).  When you allow Christ to live in you, life turns out right (Gal 2:20).

Is it okay to take anti-depressants?

Sincerely,
Feeling Low

Dear Feeling Low,

God condones taking medication for our health problems.  Paul told Timothy to take some wine for his stomach (1 Tim 5:23).  The sick were told to have the elders pray over them and anoint them with oil – oil was used as a medicine (Jas 5:14).

We know that medicine is perfectly appropriate when you are sick.  Though some feel uncomfortable using anti-depressants (and you should never do anything that goes against your conscience – 1 Tim 1:5), the argument can be made that anti-depressant medication is just like using aspirin or any other medical technique to improve human health and body function.  Good brethren disagree on this issue, and it is important to consider the issue carefully for yourself and make a prayerful decision.

     I am going through a mental breakdown: I am talking to myself, I am hearing voices, and now I am seeing things in the sky (like little orbs floating telling me to do stuff)!  What should I do?

Sincerely,
Scared

Dear Scared,

Take a deep breath and seek help.  God tells us that two are better than one (Eccl 4:9) and that we need to seek help when things get difficult (Pr 15:22).  When burdens and trials increase in our lives, we need to turn to God and His people.  We are so sorry for the immense turmoil you are going through.  Others have faced this same level of strain that begins to play tricks on your mind.  The key is to lean upon a faithful church that can help you through this.  Please e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, so we can help you find a faithful congregation to provide you with relief and the hope in God that will anchor your through the trials of life (Heb 6:19).

     How do I let go of guilty feelings that haunt me all the time for any and all wrong I’ve done throughout my life, regardless of how wrong the act.  I’ve repented and asked forgiveness and honestly feel remorse.  I know Jesus forgives and forgets, but how do I forget?  It keeps me from feeling like I bettered myself by doing right, and I am not worthy of God’s blessings.  I feel He should bless others who are more worthy.

Please guide me in the right direction to accept my forgiveness from our Savior.

Sincerely,
Guilty

Dear Guilty,

What you are asking is one of the most difficult things in life ­– forgiving yourself.  Like all things, God is better at forgiveness than we are.  Many people hold on to the guilt and shame of sin far too keenly.  God tells us that there are several things to remember:

1. Even if your heart condemns you, God keeps His promises.  On the Judgment Day, we will be judged by God’s standards, not whether or not we feel worthy (1 Jn 3:20).
2. We can reassure our own hearts that we have been forgiven when we study and live by the truth of the Bible (1 Jn 3:18-20).  The more we immerse ourselves in God’s teachings, the quicker we begin to realize that forgiveness isn’t about being worthy… but about having faith in the mercy of God.
3. Another way to look at your problem is to remember that saying, “I can’t believe God will forgive me” is the same as saying, “I don’t believe that Jesus’ sacrifice was enough”.  That may sound harsh, but our forgiveness is based upon Jesus’ blood (Col 2:14).  It is an act of faith in Jesus to accept our own forgiveness.

All in all, self-forgiveness takes time… just like all areas of growth.

     What does the Bible say about someone committing suicide?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Concerned For Consequences

Dear Concerned For Consequences,

Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8). The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide. Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness. Therefore, in most cases, it would be fair to say that suicide will send you to hell. It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.

We here at AYP only hesitate to say, “All people who commit suicide go to hell,” because God never specifically makes that statement. The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

How do you know if God is telling you to do something or if it is just a thought?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Trying Not To Overthink It

Dear Trying Not To Overthink It,

God speaks to us through His Word.  If we want to know God’s desire for our life, we must use the Bible to get our instructions.  Faith comes from the Word (Rom 10:17), and the Bible contains all the information we need for life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).  If we want to understand what God wants for us, we can find the truth in the sum of His Word (Ps 119:160).  Prophecies and visions are no longer given to people directly (1 Cor 13:8).  Instead, God speaks to us through the teachings of His Son (Heb 1:1).  It is normal for our emotions and desires to send us conflicting messages; that is exactly why God tells us to not trust ourselves or any “voice” that some churches tell us to listen for (Pr 3:5).  Trust God’s Word, and it will be a lamp to your feet (Ps 119:105).

The human mind is a complex and wondrous thing (Ps 139:14).  It is perfectly normal for our mind to make mental connections as we pray, study, sleep, etc.  Those mental images aren’t visions; they are just your own thoughts as your mind meditates upon what you have said, read, or heard.

     Where can I find Scripture about being even-tempered?  I find myself too passionate or emotional over politics and the effects of social media on our children.  I tend to want to get on my soapbox and preach.  Not good!!!  I need Scripture specifically concerning being even-tempered, please.

Sincerely,
Uneven Temper

Dear Uneven Temper,

The Bible says a lot about being even-tempered.  We are told to “be still and know that God is” (Ps 46:10).  We are also told that one of the keys to remaining even-tempered is to remember that we aren’t in control of everything, and we shouldn’t think so highly of ourselves as to put the weight of the world on our own shoulders (Rom 12:3).  Temperate behavior is so important that it is a qualification for elders (1 Tim 3:2), and it makes sense because if we want to make a difference, no matter how strongly we feel about something, keeping an even keel is going to make us more productive leaders than losing our cool.  God says that we should always be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger (Jas 1:19).  Remember that no matter how bad things may seem, God is in control of the world, and we need to be sober-minded and set our hope on God’s grace (I Pet 1:13).  Remember, no matter how concerned you are about politics and the future generation, God tells us to be anxious for nothing but instead to pray about our concerns and leave them in God’s hands (Php 4:6).

     I have made a stupid mistake that has been haunting me for the past few months; I have trouble sleeping and eating a full meal.  It happened when I was working out in our field during planting season.  One of the fertilizer cylinders wasn’t working; I don’t know what I was thinking, but I thought, “I’d give my soul to make this stupid thing work,” and within five seconds, it worked.

Is there no hope for me?  Is my soul damned to hell?

Sincerely,
Petrified

Dear Petrified,

Saying that you would give up your soul to make the fertilizer cylinder work doesn’t guarantee your eternal destiny any more than saying, “I’ll go to heaven if I fix the fertilizer cylinder.”  We aren’t the final judge of our eternal home – Christ is (2 Tim 4:1).  If you have done what Christ teaches you must do to be saved, you will go to heaven (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for specifics on the steps of salvation), and if you turn away from Christ, you will be lost (Acts 4:12).  Everyone deserves to go to hell because of their sins (Rom 6:23), but Christ offers to save us if we love and obey Him (Jhn 14:15).  What you did in the past doesn’t matter; what you do now is what counts (2 Cor 6:1-2).

Having said that, in the future, it would be best to refrain from that sort of language.

Did God make mistakes when he made homosexuals?  Why did Jesus not rebuke homosexuals?

Sincerely,
Looking For Answers

Dear Looking For Answers,

We’ll answer your second question first.  Jesus did rebuke homosexuality, but He didn’t do it specifically.  Jesus answered the question of homosexuality when He taught on marriage.  Jesus said that marriage was intended between a man and a woman (Matt 19:4-5).  Any sexual activity outside of God’s plan for marriage is fornication.  Homosexual behavior, pre-marital sex, adultery, etc. are all sinful and Jesus condemned them all when He taught the right way for men and women to behave.

Now let’s address the issue of people being made homosexual.  God doesn’t force anyone to act upon same-sex attractions, just like God doesn’t force an alcoholic to the bottle or a wrathful husband to strike his wife.  How we act is a choice, not a genetic equation.  There is a lot of debate over why some people have same-sex attractions, but at the end of the day, those temptations need to be mastered.  When Cain was angry, God told Cain to rule over sin or it would devour him (Gen 4:7).  Same-sex attractions are a temptation that stems from within a person, just like anger, unhealthy opposite-sex attractions, and a thousand other temptations (Jas 1:13-14).  The key is that there is always a way of escape from those unhealthy desires (1 Cor 10:13).  God didn’t make a mistake when creating us; it is when we turn from the path He has designed for us and follow our own desires (which are often unhealthy) that we sin (Jer 10:23).

     If I am a homosexual, why should I believe in God (I am going to hell anyway)?

Sincerely,
Cursed

Dear Cursed,

Whether we believe in God or not, God still exists.  Ignoring the fact doesn’t change that reality.  Read “Is God Real?” for some of the evidence that God is.  Whether someone chooses to follow or believe in God is irrelevant; we will all see Him at the Judgment Day (Heb 9:27)

Homosexuality is such a controversial issue because modern society teaches that people are born homosexual, but this simply isn’t true.  You are not forced to have a sinful homosexual relationship.  The argument of the homosexual community is that they are born desiring people of the same sex and that they have no choice.  That simply cannot be true.  God makes it clear that He will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we are able (1 Cor 10:13).  Even if you are born with a predisposition toward homosexuality – you aren’t forced to act upon it.  We always have a choice. There is always a way of escape from sin.  We often use 1 Cor 10:13 as a proof text that no one is born “gay”.  
Homosexuality is like all other sins; we sin when we act upon the lust.  God does not tempt us to sin (Jas 1:13).  It is our own lusts that entice us to do the wrong thing (Jas 1:14-16).  One person has a tendency toward anger, another has a tendency toward alcoholism, and some may, in fact, have a tendency toward homosexuality – but that tendency does not force them to sin.  We need to put away all filthiness of the flesh and be doers of God’s Word (Jas 1:21-22).

     God bless you, brethren.  Mark 3:5 says that Jesus “looked at them with anger, being grieved at the hardness of their hearts”.  I would like for you to help me understand when it is okay for us to be angry at someone for something.  When is anger not a sin?

Sincerely,
Tempering My Anger

Dear Tempering My Anger,

Anger isn’t a sin, but it often leads us into sinful behavior.  The Bible says, “Be angry and do not sin” (Eph 4:26).  Anger is a natural emotion, but we often allow that emotion to control us, and we end up saying or doing things that are sinful.  The example you gave from Mk 3:5 is a good example of the proper use of anger.  Jesus was angry because the Pharisees had such hard hearts that they would have denied an injured man healing just to spite Jesus (Mk 3:1-2).  Jesus was enraged by their attitudes.  So what did Jesus do with that anger?  He healed the man and taught people God’s truth (Mk 3:3-5).  Jesus was angry, but He didn’t say or do anything He would later regret.  We should rule over our spirits when we are angry (Pr 16:32) and be slow to speak when our hearts are hot (Jas 1:19).

     What should I do if I’ve committed blaspheme terribly?  I was baptized when I was six (I think), and I’ve gotten closer to God, left, gotten closer, and left.  Blaspheme is something I struggle with.  Why do I do these things?  I’m fourteen now.

Sincerely,
Watching My Mouth

Dear Watching My Mouth,

We can be forgiven for using the Lord’s name in vain… but only if we repent and turn to the Lord.  God has provided a means for all sins to be forgiven – His Son’s blood.  When we become christians (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for details on how to become a christian – this is important because part of becoming a christian involves mature, adult choices that were impossible for a six-year-old to make), all sins are forgiven, even our previous blasphemy against God.  There is no single act that is so evil that Jesus’ blood can’t wash it away (1 Jn 1:7).  Many of the first-century christians had horrible sins in their pasts (1 Cor 6:9-11).  The key is to get up every time you fall down (Pr 24:16).  Continue to work on cleaning up your language, and you will eventually succeed.

Temptation and trials – what is the different between the two?  Who gives us trials or do we put ourselves in them?  Who gives us temptations or do we put ourselves in them?  Why do we go through both?  Is it a test for us to pass or to build us up spiritually?

Sincerely,
Trying

Dear Trying,

The Bible says that God never tempts us to do evil (Jas 1:13).  God never purposefully puts us in a situation with a desire for us to sin.  The devil wants to devour you with sin, but God never does (1 Pet 5:8).  However, God does put us in situations in order to find out what we are made of.  God tested Abraham when He asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac (Gen 22:1).  God put Abraham in a position where he could succeed or fail – but the key is that God wanted him to succeed (Gen 22:14-18).  Abraham was tried by God (Heb 11:17), so God could bless him.  God may put us in circumstances that are difficult, but His desire is always to benefit us.

On the other hand, the devil tempts us for the purpose of destroying us – just like he did with Jesus in the wilderness (Matt 4:1).  That is why God promises us that He will never allow the devil to tempt us beyond what we are able to handle (1 Cor 10:13).  The devil tries to set us up for failure, and the Lord tries to set us up for success.

     Being in church, we (or at least I) have always been told I don’t deserve anything and that only God’s grace keeps me up every day.  I have been reminded of this several times and try to utilize it to make me humble.  I’ll try to be brief and as candid as possible but… how am I to pray if I am so undeserving?

Yes, I know Jesus reached out to sinners more than anyone else, but what do we sinners pray about?  Am I deserving enough to everyday pray for others’ help?  Is it vanity that makes me pray to better myself everyday?  Let’s say I have the blackest soul alive; what do I actually deserve to do?  What am I allowed to pray for?  Would working out and wearing makeup hurt God as vanity?  Would determination to do my very best at work and school (fully aware that I’m doing it to get a good job financially) hurt God as greed?  Would never cursing out loud once in my life and acting the caring person when I have had inner monologues of foul language and can’t seem to ever help judging every single person I meet and know every day hurt God as hypocrisy?

Basically, if I know I don’t deserve the life I live and shouldn’t deserve it, how can I live it?

Sincerely,
Unworthy

Dear Unworthy,

It is true that we have all sinned and don’t deserve to go to heaven (Rom 3:23), but what you are talking about is more than just being undeserving; you are saying that everyone is totally depraved, and even when we do good things, it is all just a sham.  The idea that we are all deeply and totally depraved and don’t have a single shred of goodness in us is not from the Bible; it is a teaching called ‘Calvinism’.  Calvinism teaches that you are born sinful and always are sinful and that nothing you can do is ever good enough – this is not true.  After all, God made us in His image… that is a good thing!  Sin is something that you do, not something that you are.  Sin does separate us from God, and Christ’s blood is a gift that gives us a chance to be reunited with the Father.  We could never earn what Christ has given us, but that doesn’t mean that in your heart of hearts, you are a bad person.  Christ specifically came to save those people that wished to be good but still made bad choices.  Paul dealt with this inner struggle that faithful people have as they fight the battle against the flesh in Rom 7:22-25.  People aren’t born inherently bad at the core – we choose to want evil or to want good.  Calvinism is wrong, and we recommend you read the article “Calvin And Sobs” for a complete breakdown of this false teaching that has befuddled quite a lot of good people.

     I want to know: how do you test your faith?

Sincerely,
Feeling Testy

Dear Feeling Testy,

2 Cor 13:5 says that we should test to see whether we are in the faith.  Paul is referring to the fact that we should examine ourselves to see whether we are living faithfully.  Paul also taught this concept in 1 Cor 11:28-31.  We test ourselves by comparing our lives to the Bible.  Within the Bible are the words that create a faithful life (Rom 10:17, Rom 1:16-17).

     Any recommended Bible verses about believing in yourself and your ability to make the best and right decision? And trusting your inner self and goodness?

Sincerely,
Inner Compass

Dear Inner Compass,

Ironically, the Bible is full of verses on that topic, but they all say the opposite.  God tells us that we shouldn’t trust ourselves to direct our paths.  Jer 10:23 says that man will fail if he tries to run his life without God’s direction – we can’t trust our own wisdom.  Pr 21:2 says that we all think that we are doing the right thing, even the axe-murderer rationalizes his behavior… but obviously, just because we believe we are doing the right thing, that doesn’t mean we are.  We should have no confidence in our flesh (Php 3:3); all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Rom 3:23).

So, if we shouldn’t believe in our own abilities, and we shouldn’t trust ourselves – what should we do?  Pr 1:7 says that all wisdom begins with fearing God.  When we humble ourselves before God and accept His Bible – we can confidently live by faith.  When we throw away our confidence in the old man and latch onto the teachings of the Lord, we put on a new man that finds confidence in God (Col 3:5-10).

Leviticus 19:28 said, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the LORD.”  Why don’t I hear too many churches preaching against putting tattoos on your body?

Sincerely,
Unmarked

Dear Unmarked,

The Old Testament strictly forbade tattoos (Lev 19:28). God was so adamant about it because cutting your flesh and tattooing were common practices of pagan cultures (1 Kgs 18:26-28). Tattooing was a religious practice closely tied to Baal and other idols.

In the New Testament, we are given no specific command against tattoos. It is valuable, however, to see that for a very long time tattoos have had a negative connotation. As a christian, there are many things that we can do but should think carefully about beforehand. Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean it is a good idea (1 Cor 10:23). Tattoos are permanent, and the decision to get one shouldn’t be taken lightly.

In American culture, tattoos can give a negative impression – especially if the tattoo is large or in a highly visible area. Some things to consider:

1. Tattoos are a deterrent for some employers. Are you willing to get passed over in a job application?
2. People will automatically form judgments about you based upon their first impression of a tattoo. Are you comfortable with being thought of as ‘the weird tatted-up guy’?
3. You must also consider what effects it will have long-term. Will you still want Tweety Bird on your shoulder when you are in the nursing home?
4. Are you ready to explain to your three-year-old why you have song lyrics on your bicep? Are you okay with your children wanting tattoos themselves?
5. Many tattoos change their shape, size, and even location with weight loss and gain. Are you ready for that “cute” bellybutton butterfly to become a condor when you get pregnant?
6. Many tattoos are of things that exude evil. Snakes, skulls, demonic signs, bad words, etc. are to be avoided at all costs.

We must always consider our influence and how it will affect others. God tells us to be wise and seek wisdom in our decisions (Pr 8:33). Whatever decision an individual makes, I recommend seeking outside counsel before getting something as permanent as a tattoo (Pr 11:14). It is not wrong for a christian to get a tattoo, but it certainly isn’t a decision to make lightly.

     I was baptized when I was eighteen, and I remember why I was doing it, but it was also out of fear that if I died without being baptized that I would die and go to hell.  However, when I answered ‘yes’ to “Do you believe that Jesus is the Son of God and came down and died for the remission of your sins?”, I remember being hesitant.  I’m twenty-two now, and looking back, I can’t remember if I truly believed that, and I’m worried that I won’t go to heaven if I died.  I believe it firmly now, but do you think I should be re-baptized just to make sure?

Sincerely,
Double Take

Dear Double Take,

The word ‘baptism’ simply means ‘immersion’ – it is the reason for your immersion that makes baptism a soul-saving act.  When we understand that baptism saves us from our sins (1 Pet. 3:21) and are baptized by the authority of Christ (Acts 2:38) and believe in His Name (Mk. 16:16), then that baptism saves us.  Many people are baptized without understanding these things… in which case, they just get wet.  You will have to evaluate for yourself whether or not you understood what you were doing when you were baptized (Php 2:12).  If you did, there is no need for re-baptism.  If not or if you aren’t sure, re-baptism is a logical and conscientious decision.

If the only reason you are seeking to be re-baptized is that you think you did it out of fear the first time – there is nothing wrong with fear motivating our initial obedience to God.  Almost all people start that way, and God says it is appropriate (Pr 1:7).  However, if you still feel that nagging doubt, you wouldn’t be the first person to decide that the faithful thing to do is to remove all questions and go back to the water.

     I have done something in my past that I truly regret… something I can’t seem to get off my mind.  I pray every day to be forgiven of my sin; it’s torn me continuously apart.  I know it was wrong, and it hasn’t happened again.  And it won’t ever happen again.  Even though God has forgiven me of my sin and I know it was wrong, how can I forgive myself?

Sincerely,
Guilt-Ridden

Dear Guilt-Ridden,

The problem isn’t with whether or not you can be forgiven – the problem is that you don’t feel forgiven.  The two issues are very different.  There are times when our head and our heart aren’t on the same page.  Guilt can drive someone crazy if they don’t learn to keep things in proper perspective.  God says that your heart can be wrong.  You feel that you can’t be forgiven, but the Bible says you can.  It is very similar to the problem that the apostle Paul faced.  Paul had murdered christians and felt that he was the worst of the worst, but he learned that Jesus would forgive him (1 Tim 1:15-16).

The apostle John said it best, “By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before Him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and He knows everything.” (1 Jhn 3:19-20).  Your act of faith is going to be letting go of your fears and trusting that living by God’s Word is what matters (Rom 10:17).  Sometimes, our feelings can be fickle and wrong, and we’ve got to ignore them until time and life change them.

Could you elaborate on 1 Timothy 2:8. What is meant by holy hands?

Sincerely,
Hand-ling The Verse

Dear Hand-ling The Verse,

It was not uncommon for those praying to raise their hands toward heaven as they prayed.  In 1 Tim 2:8, Paul is exhorting that we should have clean hands when we pray to God.  Our hands represent our lives and our actions.  If our lives are full of wrathful and doubting behavior, our prayers will be hindered.  The greatest example of this is in 1 Pet 3:7 where God warns husbands that their prayers will be hindered if they mistreat their wives.  Our hands need to be holy when we approach God; our lives need to be holy if we approach the Lord in prayer.

What are feelings, where do they come from, and what is their purpose?

Sincerely,
Full Of Emotion

Dear Full Of Emotion,

Feelings are a gift from God, and they are part of what makes us made in His image (Gen 1:27).  God has emotions, just like humans do… or rather, humans have emotions, just like God does.  God gets angry (2 Sam 6:7).  God can be jealous (Ex 34:14).  God has times of sadness and grief (Gen 6:6).  God can also have great joy (Lk 15:10).  Our emotions are just like God’s – except we have sin in our lives and immaturity in our hearts.  When God angers, He never acts inappropriately… but we do.  Humans don’t always show proper control of our feelings, and instead, we let them control us.  Feelings can be a wonderful blessing (life would be bland without them), but they are only a blessing if we guard our hearts with the truth (Pr 4:23).

Is it normal for a christian to sometimes have doubts about his faith? Like, maybe whether Christ is really the Messiah or not or all the things in the Bible are true or not?

Sincerely,
Doubting Myself

Dear Doubting Myself,

Everyone faces times of doubt in their life; the key is to strengthen the weaknesses in our resolve.  Like the man who cried out, “I believe, help my unbelief!” (Mk 9:24), all christians must recognize that faith must grow and increase over time.

Faith is the evidence of things not seen (Heb 11:1).  We can’t see God, but there is plenty of evidence that He exists.  The whole creation cries out as evidence of God’s existence (Rom 1:20).  As science and our knowledge of the natural world have increased, the proof of God’s existence has increased as well.  Books like Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel, Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel, and Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell are excellent resources that make clear the existence of the God of the Bible.  Take the time to fill your mind with information from sources like those mentioned above, and you will find yourself more confident in no time (Php 4:8).

Is it wrong to drink coffee or take a caffeine supplement for an extra boost of energy?

Sincerely,
Feeling Sluggish

Dear Feeling Sluggish,

Much to the joy and relief of those of us in the Pacific Northwest, the Bible never says anything about caffeine, and it certainly never says it is a sin.  The Church of Christ of Latter-Day Saints, also known as the Mormon church, strictly forbids the use of caffeine… but the Bible never does.

The Bible tells us to take care of our bodies (1 Cor 6:19).  God also warns against gluttony (Pr 23:21).  There is much debate over the effects of caffeine upon the body, but no studies are conclusive enough that one could condemn all use of caffeine.  Caffeine, like all other consumables, should be used with moderation and balance… but it isn’t wrong.

Is a Christian allowed to smoke cigarettes and drink beer?

Sincerely,
Does A Body Good?

Dear Does A Body Good,

God never specifically condemns drinking wine, but He does condemn ‘strong drink’ (Pr 20:1), drinking parties (1 Pet 4:3), and drunkenness (Rom 13:13).  Almost all alcohol that is consumed today would fall into the category of ‘strong drink’ because our alcoholic beverages are artificially fermented to increase their alcoholic content (unlike the wine of Jesus’ day – read “That’s Just Grape” for further details on the wine Jesus drank).  We would all do well to heed the words of Pr 23:31-32 and avoid alcohol as much as is possible.

As for cigarettes, anything that purposefully poisons our bodies is wrong to use.  There was a time where the facts were not clearly known about the effects of cigarettes, pipes, and cigars on human health.  Those days are long since gone.  The data is exceptionally clear that smoking is always harmful to the human body and that smoking has no positive health benefits.  God tells us to treat our bodies as a temple (1 Cor 6:19).  Our bodies are a gift from God, and life is something to be cherished.  When we purposefully abuse our bodies with unhealthy lifestyles, we rebel against God and show ungratefulness for the life He has given us.  Present your body as a living and holy sacrifice to God (Rom 12:1).  Who knows what work He has prepared for you in the days and years that would be lost if you died from the effects of smoking?

Is it wrong to go to tanning beds or use spray-on tans?

Sincerely,
UV is Ultra-Vain?

Dear UV is Ultra-Vain,

There are two issues to consider with tanning – the health issue and the vanity issue.  First of all let’s look at the health concerns.  Overall, the Scriptures lay out a general principle of healthy living and not overindulging.  Moderation is the key, and there is a time for everything (Eccl 3:1).  We are told that we need to take care of our bodies because they are a gift from God (1 Cor 6:19).  Every activity involves certain health risks, and tanning is no exception.  Each christian needs to assess the arguments for and against tanning for themselves and be a good steward of the body God has given them.

The second issue is vanity.  God tells us that we need to be careful to not be the type of people that are vain and focused on our outward appearance all the time (1 Tim 2:9-10).  Tanning is typically done as an act to beautify the body – this isn’t inherently wrong, but it can be if not kept in proper perspective.  Remember that beauty fades, but character is forever (Pr 31:30).

I’m sure someone has asked this before, but I wanted to ask this so it was phrased the way I want it.  I was baptized not too long ago, but ever since, I have yet to truly understand how to live as a christian… I am in the process of reading the Bible, but I feel ignorant, and I want to know how to live as a christian properly.

Do I have to feel a certain way every day or go out and do charitable things?  Do I focus on learning only?

How do I live as a christian; what do I need to do?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
At The Beginning

Dear At The Beginning,

Your question is a good one, but a difficult one to give an easy answer to.  It is kind of like asking what a baby needs to do to become a grown up.  Do they need to learn to walk? Yes, but not just walk.  Do they need to learn to talk? Yes, but not just talk.  In fact, there are a million different things that must be learned and perfected by the time a child can be considered an adult.  However, it would overwhelm a child if you tried to explain to them everything they would have to learn in the first two decades of their life.  Children grow by simply doing the best they can every day, and somehow, almost magically, that turns them into adults.

The same thing is true in spiritual growth.  You need to study your Bible, but you also need to try and apply it by living according to its teachings.  You need to go to a faithful church and learn (we can help you find one if you need help… not all churches are faithful), but you also need to try and share the good news with others.  How you feel will change from day to day, but you also need to try and control your emotions.  Peter said it best:

“As newborn babes, long for the spiritual milk which is without guile, that you may grow thereby unto salvation.”
(I Pet 2:2)

The key is eating the Bible up and letting its teachings mold you.  There is no magical formula.  It is a daily process of hearing what God has said in the Bible and then trying to do what He says.  The more you try, the more you grow… and eventually, you will look back and see the major changes in your life.

Is it in the Bible that if you get tattoos on your body and body piercings you’re condemned to hell?

Sincerely,
Pierced To The Heart

Dear Pierced To The Heart,

Tattoos were 100% sinful in the Old Testament – in the New Testament they are sinful some of the time. The Old Testament strictly forbade tattoos (Lev 19:28). God was so adamant about it because cutting your flesh and tattooing were common practices of pagan cultures (1 Kgs 18:26-28). Tattooing was a religious practice closely tied to Baal and other idols.

In the New Testament, we are given no specific command against tattoos. It is valuable, however, to see that for a very long time tattoos have had a negative connotation. As a christian, there are many things that we can do but should think carefully about beforehand. Just because I can do something, doesn’t mean it is a good idea (1 Cor 10:23). Tattoos are permanent, and the decision to get one shouldn’t be taken lightly.

In American culture, tattoos can give a negative impression – especially if the tattoo is large or in a highly visible area. Some things to consider:

1. Tattoos are a deterrent for some employers. Are you willing to get passed over in a job application?
2. People will automatically form judgments about you based upon their first impression of a tattoo. Are you comfortable with being thought of as ‘the weird tatted-up guy’?
3. You must also consider what effects it will have long-term. Will you still want Tweety Bird on your shoulder when you are in the nursing home?
4. Are you ready to explain to your three-year-old why you have song lyrics on your bicep? Are you okay with your children wanting tattoos themselves?
5. Many tattoos change their shape, size, and even location with weight loss and gain. Are you ready for that “cute” bellybutton butterfly to become a condor when you get pregnant?
6. Many tattoos are of things that exude evil. Snakes, skulls, demonic signs, bad words, etc. are to be avoided at all costs.

We must always consider our influence and how it will affect others. God tells us to be wise and seek wisdom in our decisions (Pr 8:33). Whatever decision an individual makes, I recommend seeking outside counsel before getting something as permanent as a tattoo (Pr 11:14). It is not wrong for a christian to get a tattoo, but it certainly isn’t a decision to make lightly.

Lately, I have been feeling like I have not been the best christian that I ought to be.  I try to be excited that I’m going to heaven and how blessed I am to know God and living how Christ would have me to, but sometimes I get so upset thinking about all those (including family) that won’t be there with me.  I try to always be positive, hoping that others may come to repentance, but for some, I know there is no chance they will follow Christ.  Why do I keep lingering on these thoughts?

Sincerely,
Disheartened

Dear Disheartened,

You are facing a normal and healthy part of the christian growth process.  It is a sign of compassion when that you look at those who are lost in this world, and it wrenches your heart.  It is okay to be hurt by the vastness of those who have chosen the wide path to destruction (Matt 7:13).  Jesus wept over His kinsman in Jerusalem that turned their back on the truth and rejected the gift of salvation (Lk 19:41-42).  When Paul thought about his lost fellow countryman, it grieved him deeply… so much so that he wished he could trade places with their souls, so they might be saved (Rom 9:1-3).  Paul’s heart’s desire was that his beloved kinsman would be saved (Rom 10:1-2), but he also knew that it was their choice, not his.  You are having the same emotions that Paul and Jesus dealt with – take it as a sign of spiritual maturity and growth.

The important thing to remember is that the greatest help you can be to the lost is to be that shining light and preserving salt that Christ exhorted us to become (Matt 5:13-15).  You can’t save everyone from their own choices, but, as Paul said, we try and live so that we can save some (Rom 11:13-14).

How do you forgive yourself as God has forgiven you?

Sincerely,
Regretful

Dear Regretful,

What you are asking is one of the most difficult things in life ­– forgiving yourself.  Like all things, God is better at forgiveness than we are.  Many people hold on to the guilt and shame of sin far too keenly.  God tells us that there are several things to remember:

1. Even if your heart condemns you, God keeps His promises.  On the Judgment Day, we will be judged by God’s standards, not whether or not we feel worthy (1 Jn 3:20).
2. We can reassure our own hearts that we have been forgiven when we study and live by the truth of the Bible (1 Jn 3:18-20).  The more we immerse ourselves in God’s teachings, the quicker we begin to realize that forgiveness isn’t about being worthy… but about having faith in the mercy of God.

All in all, self-forgiveness takes time… just like all areas of growth.

The question I have: I believe six years ago, the Lord placed in my heart the desire to become a nurse, and ever since I received that, I’ve been pursuing this, taking classes and asking questions.  This quarter, I’m taking a biology class, but for some reason, I’m starting to wonder if this is what God wants me to do.  The reason why I’m asking myself and asking God this is because this quarter, I find myself struggling to sit down and study and do the homework.  I want to do well in this class; I want to understand what I’m studying; I want to be that nurse for God that knows what she is doing.

What I want to know is why it is a struggle for me now.  Is it because I’m out of God’s will?  (I hope not.)  Or is it something I’m not seeing?

Sincerely,
Nursing A Career

Dear Nursing A Career,

God doesn’t miraculously imbue us with what profession we should take and the power to sail through classes.  The fact that you are having to work hard for your degree isn’t a sign from God one way or the other.  Hard work is a blessing, and hard workers are pleasing to God.  Ecclesiastes says that we have the freedom to pursue whatever things we want in this life – as long as we remember that God will judge us in the end for the life we lived (Eccl 11:9).  Being a nurse is a noble and kind profession, and there is nothing wrong with pursuing it, but don’t think that God directly spoke to you that you need to be a nurse.  God doesn’t work that way.  God speaks to us through His Son’s Word, the Bible (Heb 1:1-2).  We are faithful when we listen to that Word and obey it (Rom 10:17).  Nursing school is a difficult challenge for even the most agile minds – you aren’t struggling because you’ve done something wrong.

Is it okay for a christian to take protein shake?

Sincerely,
Not Stirred

Dear Not Stirred,

There is nothing wrong with a christian drinking protein shakes.  The Bible endorses healthy living and exercise.  The apostle Paul said that our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit and that we ought to take care of our bodies because we were bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20).  The Bible teaches that physical exercise is profitable (1 Tim 4:8)… just not as profitable as spiritual growth.  So feel free to continue your dietary regimen and just make sure your soul gets fed, too.

How do I control my mind from my past and other negative thinking?

Sincerely,
Fresh Start

Dear Fresh Start,

Rom 12:1-2 says that we renew our minds when we begin to mold our lives to imitate our Lord.  The more we change our behavior to match the Bible, the more our mind begins to match our new lifestyle.  There is an old saying: “fake it to make it”.  When we begin to act the way we ought, our minds and characters begin to match our new behavior.  Positive thinking begins with positive life choices.

I saw a vision when I gave my life to Jesus that I was preaching to millions of souls on a stage and crusades.  I praise the Lord who used me to bring at least sixty souls.  When will my whole vision come to pass?

Sincerely,
Visionary

Dear Visionary,

The days of dreams and visions have passed.  In the past, God spoke to various people through dreams, visions, and prophecy, but today He speaks to us through His Son, Jesus Christ (Heb 1:1-2).  Now that we have the complete and perfect Bible – there is no need for God to give people individual dreams or visions.  It is through the Word of God that we learn how to live faithfully (Rom 10:17).

We are sure that your dreams mean something, but they don’t mean anything supernatural or prophetic.  What you had was not a vision.  Prophets have visions, and there are no more prophets since we have the perfect and complete Word of God (1 Cor 13:8-10).  The human mind is a complex and wondrous thing (Ps 139:14).  It is perfectly normal for our minds to make mental connections as we pray, study, sleep, etc.  Those mental images aren’t visions; they are just your own thoughts as your mind meditates upon what you have said, read, or heard.

We recommend you read “I Dreamed A Dream” for more information.

Where in the Bible does it say it is wrong to use tobacco?

Sincerely,
Fired Up

Dear Fired Up,

Anything that purposefully poisons our bodies is wrong to use.  There was a time where the facts were not clearly known about the effects of cigarettes, pipes, and cigars on human health.  Those days are long since gone.  The data is exceptionally clear that smoking is always harmful to the human body and that smoking has no positive health benefits.  God tells us to treat our bodies as a temple (1 Cor 6:19).  Our bodies are a gift from God, and life is something to be cherished.  When we purposefully abuse our bodies with unhealthy lifestyles, we rebel against God and show ungratefulness for the life He has given us.  Present your body as a living and holy sacrifice to God (Rom 12:1).  Who knows what work He has prepared for you in the days and years that would be lost if you died from the effects of smoking?

What happens to a believer that commits suicide?   Will he be saved still?  What does the Bible say about the eternal security of a believer?

Sincerely,
Looking For A Guarantee

Dear Looking For A Guarantee,

Suicide can send you to hell, and the teaching of eternal security isn’t biblically accurate.  Let’s deal with them one at a time.

Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide.  Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness.  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

The teaching of eternal security says that it is impossible for someone to lose their salvation once they become a christian… this is false.  The Bible clearly states that people “drift away” (Heb 2:1), “are rejected” (1 Cor 9:27), and “fall away” (Heb 6:4-6).  Christians can fall away from God in this life; that is why we are commanded to be faithful unto death (Rev 2:10).

I had a dream where I witnessed the heavens opening up and the sound of a trumpet blowing.  Does this have any spiritual meaning, or was it just a dream?

Sincerely,
Heavenly Visions

Dear Heavenly Visions,

The days of prophetic dreams and visions have passed.  In the past, God spoke to various people through dreams, visions, and prophecy, but today He speaks to us through His Son, Jesus Christ (Heb 1:1-2).  Now that we have the complete and perfect Bible – there is no need for God to give people individual dreams or visions (1 Cor 13:9-10).  It is through the Word of God that we learn how to live faithfully (Rom 10:17).   You don’t need to worry about interpreting your dream as some spiritual sign; it was just a dream.

Is getting plastic surgery wrong? My friend wants to get breast implants; is it wrong biblically to have things like that done to our bodies?

Sincerely,
Afraid Of Knives

Dear Afraid Of Knives,

It isn’t inherently wrong for a christian to change their appearance for beauty’s sake, but we do need to be careful. See the post “The 411 On The Bling Bling” for more details on the subject of wearing jewelry. Plastic surgery is a more extreme version of makeup or jewelry. It is precisely its extreme nature that should make christians wary of using it. Makeup and jewelry are intended to enhance someone’s natural appearance, while surgery is intended to permanently alter it.

Vanity is a sin. We are not supposed to glory in appearances (2 Cor 5:12). The most vivid Biblical example of the folly of vanity is Absalom who died because of his love of his beautiful hair (2 Sam 14:25-26, 2 Sam 18:9-14). Furthermore, we are supposed to be content with what God provides us with (Php 4:11), and that includes the body He has given us. Plastic surgery (if done for purely cosmetic reasons and not medical ones) smacks of being discontent with what God has designed. The more superficial our world becomes, the more christians need to remember what is truly important… not the outward flesh, but the inward man (2 Cor 4:16).

One of our “brothers” has been pushing this issue.  After discussing the sin of suicide, he brought up the denial of the Holy Spirit (as in Matthew’s account of Jesus ridding demons) as the only thing that cannot be forgiven.  Maybe you can bring up some good points that I may have overlooked about this passage.

Sincerely,
Doctrinally Debating

Dear Doctrinally Debating,

John says that there is a sin that leads to death – that sin is the sin against the Holy Spirit (Mk 3:29).  Any sin can be repented of and forgiven (1 Jn 1:9)… except for the sin against the Holy Spirit.  Now, let’s explain what that sin is, and then we will connect it to the suicide issue.

When Jesus says that any sin will be forgiven except for someone blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mk 3:28-30), He said it to the crowd that accused Him of casting out demons by the power of Satan (Mk 3:23).  That crowd could have been forgiven of any sin, but instead they rejected the miracles that testified that Jesus was from God.  Contrast that crowd’s attitude with Nicodemus’ attitude.  Nicodemus understood that the only way that someone could perform a miracle was if God was with him (Jhn 3:2).  When that crowd rejected the evidence that the Holy Spirit provided (in this case, the miracles), they rejected any chance to receive the forgiveness found in Jesus’ teachings.  When we reject the truth of God (the Bible), we reject the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit’s primary job is to bring the truth of the gospel to mankind (see the post “What the Holy Spirit Does” for more details).  Someone blasphemes the Holy Spirit by rejecting the truth that the Holy Spirit sent us in the Bible.  Any sin can be forgiven if we will turn to God’s Word and obey it (Rom 10:17, Heb 5:9), but there is absolutely no hope for someone if he or she will not accept the Holy Spirit’s Bible.

Which brings us to the suicide issue – suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.  The Holy Spirit teaches against murder, and when someone commits suicide they are rejecting God’s teachings on the subject of life – without opportunity to repent. The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

Hi, I like to workout and build muscle, but I also know that God should be first in our lives.  I sometimes feel that I’m wrong in working out to gain muscle and size, but I don’t let it get in the way of going to church and praying and everything else that God wants us to do.  I always put Him first.  Well, my question is: is it wrong to spend money and time on this if it’s not right in God’s eyes, and also, the other part to this is that I eat many small meals a day to keep my metabolism up, and I eat healthy, but I’m not sure if that’s right to do either.  I’m not sure if that is gluttony or not.  My main thing is I like to look good because I feel better, and I enjoy working out.  I don’t do it because it’s cool, or I’ll look hot.  I guess you can say it’s my hobby; I just enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Ripped

Dear Ripped,

There is nothing wrong with working out and exercising as long as you keep it in proper perspective – which it sounds like you are doing.  The apostle Paul even mentions that there is a benefit to physical exercise.  In 1 Tim 4:8, Paul makes it clear that bodily exercise does have its benefits but that those benefits pale in comparison to spiritual things.  There is nothing wrong with working out as a hobby and as part of a healthy lifestyle.

As far as your eating habits, they aren’t gluttonous.  Gluttony is the act of excessive eating.  You are doing the opposite!  You are controlling your portions for the purpose of controlled living.  It sounds like you are making good choices and keeping your priorities in order.

If I have lost my joy, how do I get it back?

Sincerely,
Joyless

Dear Joyless,

Suffering and sorrow are some of the most poignant experiences of human existence, and all the great men and women of the Bible faced them.  David said that his bed swam with tears many nights (Ps 6:6-7).  He also said that his sorrow was continually before him (Ps 38:17).  Isa 53:3 calls Jesus the “Man of Sorrows”.  Suffering is a constant reminder that this world is not our home and that our spirits will someday rise upward to meet our God (Eccl 3:19-21).  All of God’s faithful are strangers and pilgrims on this planet (Heb 11:13).

We cannot imagine what you are going through; you alone know your heart’s grief (Pr 14:10).  There is hope.  Trials can make us stronger if we reach out to the Lord (Rom 5:3-5).  If there is anything we can do, or if we can put you in contact with a faithful congregation that could buoy you up and prepare you for heaven, please e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

I love God, and I stand strong for my religion, but I have recently gotten into pot.  Does this mean I am going to hell?

Sincerely,
Dabbling In Drugs

Dear Dabbling In Drugs,

God is the judge of the living and the dead (1 Pet 4:5)… we cannot make the judgment on whether you will go to heaven or hell, but we can say that you are doing things opposite of what the Bible teaches.  Consuming marijuana for “recreational” purposes is wrong.  God created every green herb on day three (Gen 1:11-13), but He didn’t create them to be used inappropriately.  God condemns drunkenness and insobriety (Rom 13:13, 1 Cor 6:10).  If any drug, including marijuana, is used to create a state of drunkenness – then, yes, it is a sin.

God created everything in this world for our good, and He created us for good works (Eph 2:10).  Abusing the plants and herbs that God has blessed this world with harms us and is a sin.  When we don’t treat our bodies with respect, we harm ourselves as well as displeasing God (1 Cor 6:19-20).  Glorify God in your body and stay free of the damaging effects of drugs.

My English is not so good, but I’ll try to explain my question to you.  Two and a half years ago, my dad died.  He was everything to me.  I tried to move on with my life and make wise decisions, but it didn’t work so well.  I have the wrong friends, and I got the wrong man.  Every day, I pray to God to help me.  I can’t do it on my own.  I want to get a better life with hope, love, and happiness.  I think that God is punishing me for my mistakes in the past.  What can I do, so He will forgive my mistakes?  I am a better person now and have respect for all kinds of people.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  Please help me.  Lots of love (name omitted) from Holland.

Sincerely,
Grieving Daughter

Dear Grieving Daughter,

We are so sorry to hear of your loss and the pain it has brought you.  The loss of a beloved parent is a great grief.  Your honesty is refreshing, and it also makes it a lot easier to answer your question.  No matter how much God loves us, He still allows us to suffer the consequences of our choices.  As you mentioned, you’ve made some bad decisions in the past, and you have surrounded yourself with unhealthy relationships.  God tells us that we “reap what we sow” (Gal 6:7).  That means that when we make bad choices, we pay the price for those choices – even if we are remorseful.  We appreciate your desire to rebuild your life and start fresh.  Part of a new start is to remove the bad influences from your life – bad company corrupts good morals (1 Cor 15:33).  Since you are in Holland, we can’t recommend any specific congregations near you, but we can say you should try and find a faithful congregation to attend (read “Finding A Church” for help with that), and if you aren’t yet, you should become a christian (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for details on how to be saved).  We also recommend that you start reading and studying your Bible.  We have a lot of sermons online that you can listen to if you find it helpful.  You can find those sermons at http://sermons.mvchurchofchrist.org.  You are doing the right thing by trying to make changes in your life.  The more faithful changes you make, the better your life will become.  It does take time though.  You are in our prayers as you seek a new direction for your life.

Can someone be saved when they commit suicide?

Sincerely,
Mortal Curiosity

Dear Mortal Curiosity,

Suicide certainly is condemned.  Suicide is murder, self-murder, and is therefore very clearly a sin (Rev 21:8).  The only difference between suicide and murdering someone else is that you don’t get a chance to repent after suicide.  Suicide is a final decision and leaves no room for correction or for asking forgiveness.  It is a willful act of disobedience against God without opportunity for repentance.  The final judgment belongs to God (Heb 12:23), but we certainly wouldn’t want to face that judgment with our own blood on our hands.

I am dealing with a tough sin; I refuse to give up in defeating it, but will God?

Sincerely,
Soldier

Dear Soldier,

God doesn’t give up on us; we give up on Him.  God tells us that if we repent and confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us (1 Jn 1:9).  Our heavenly Father is ready and willing to forgive (Ps 86:5).  He doesn’t desire anyone to perish (2 Pet 3:9).  If you are truly and honestly throwing your heart into defeating this sin, God won’t give up on you.  God provides us with many tools to help defeat sin, including prayer (Acts 8:22) and confiding in others (Jas 5:16).  Take advantage of these tools; put on the whole armor of God (Eph 6:13-18), and you will be victorious.

What if someone who is struggling with a sin and continues to fall but tries so hard… dies?

Sincerely,
I Try So Hard

Dear I Try So Hard,

When we die, we will be brought before the judgment seat of God (Heb 9:27).  Those who go to heaven will do so because they were faithful (Eph 2:8).  Being faithful doesn’t mean you have to be perfect – everyone has sinned (Rom 3:23).  However, a faithful life tries to remove sin and conquer it (Jas 4:8).  We couldn’t tell you what God would say to someone who struggled but continued to fail at defeating a sin because that isn’t our place to judge.  What we can tell you is that sometimes we fail to remove sin because we don’t really work hard enough to remove it.  Other times, sincerely faithful people struggle with the same sins their entire life.  The only safe thing to do is to keep trying and do whatever you can at whatever cost to exercise self-control and bring your life into subjection to God (1 Cor 9:25-27).

Dear Readers,

Several days ago, we received a question that broke our hearts.  The individual asked for anonymity and to not reveal the details of their situation.  We wish to honor this person’s request, but we also believe their plight is faced by many of today’s youth.  This individual is so disheartened by their physical appearance and the bullying and ridicule they have received because they aren’t “pretty/handsome” that they are considering ending their own life.  With today’s culture of air-brushed models, plastic surgery, and Botox… is it any wonder that body image issues are so common and vicious in today’s youth?  With this issue in mind, we are posting our response to this suffering soul in the hope that others who are silently struggling may have a Bible answer to comfort their hearts through the awkward years.

Sincerely,
The AYP Team

Dear Hurting One,

Let us begin by saying that each heart has its own sorrow, and we will not pretend to know exactly how you feel – only you and the Lord know the depths of your pain (Pr 14:10).  Our hearts go out to you as you deal with the greatness of your bitterness and pain.  If we may, we would like to offer you a few verses to consider…

The apostle Paul had a physical infirmity that made him grotesque and despised by many (Gal 4:13-14).  Paul prayed and prayed for God to remove this illness (he called it his “thorn in the flesh” – 2 Cor 8:7), and God’s answer was ‘no’ (2 Cor 12:8).  God told Paul that His grace was sufficient and that Paul would learn to be a better man because of his weakness (2 Cor 12:9).  In fact, Paul said that the things that God had for him to do in this life were so great that the thorn in the flesh kept him from becoming arrogant (2 Cor 12:7).

Have you ever considered that your physical appearance is a blessing disguised as a curse – that is what Paul found.  Because Paul wasn’t “beautiful”, his character had a chance to shine brighter, and his message of salvation had opportunity to reach those who wanted the truth… not just those looking to listen to the next pretty face.  Even Jesus is described as being someone of unremarkable appearance (Isa 53:2).  Those who heard Jesus loved Him (Jhn 7:46), but His looks never converted a single soul.  We say all this to tell you that physical beauty isn’t as important as you think – and it isn’t important to God.  God treasures the inner character and beauty of a godly soul (1 Pet 3:3-4).  It is the hidden man that God desires to shine forth.

Nothing we have said removes your suffering, but it may give meaning to it.  All of us age, and our bodies decay, but it is our inward man that matters (2 Cor 4:16).  Every life is precious, including yours.  You are capable of great things if you are willing to have faith that your life is more than your looks.  If you end your life because of your physical appearance, the devil will have won and defeated another soul with his deceptive lies.  Be different and let your inward man shine forth.

Thank you for your prompt response.  You were very clear and left no room for misinterpretation.  I am, however, concerned with the phrase “get used to it”.  You are saying, if I understand you correctly, that not only do I exist without my consent, I am also subject to “authority” without my consent as well as confronted by only a singular resolution to this tyrannical situation.

If I am correct in this interpretation, then this ‘being’ I exist as would be little more than a prisoner, born unfree, to remain unfree, and to become free only in death.  Everyone else who has ever existed and will ever exist would also be ‘prisoners’.

If you could answer another question, I would be very appreciative.  What objective reason exists for me to procreate if all I would be doing is choosing to doom my child to the same imprisonment that I myself suffer?

Sincerely,
Wish I Wasn’t Here

Dear Wish I Wasn’t Here,

You are a prisoner as much as a child is a prisoner of the parents that raise it.  There are always two ways to look at things.  You view life as “I don’t want to be here, and God is forcing me to exist and serve Him”.  We view life as “What a blessing that we can move and breathe and exist; God is so awesome for giving us life”.  You are only a prisoner in this life if you choose to view it that way.  To answer your question – if you are a prisoner and trapped in this life… you probably ought not to procreate.  However, we believe that it is a blessing to be made in the image of God (Gen 1:26) and that life is inherently good.  When Adam and Eve sinned, they introduced sin and death into this life, but God designed this world perfectly and gives us hope for a better future in Jesus (1 Cor 15:22).  We here at AYP don’t believe that God being our Master is a bad thing – we enjoy the blessings of having a loving Father to care for us.  Just like you would have rules for your hypothetical children, God has rules for us… rules that are meant to protect and bless us (Heb 12:9-10).