I work with a co-worker who claims to be an atheist.  There are a myriad of apologetic books that speak to these types of people and their claims.  However, I would like to seek your insights on how to best reason with this person.  In the process of talking with him, he has actually asked me to share Scriptures of encouragement that he could share with his girlfriend.  I have bought him his first Bible, Bible Dictionary, and a pamphlet on how to study the Bible, which he was moved by and gladly received.  I also offered to study with him, but he has not yet accepted my offer.  Still, he needs to be convinced that God is real and that we did not get here by accident.  Is there a simple format or practical approach I can use?

Sincerely,
Theist

Dear Theist,

Ironically, one of the best places to start with an atheist is to discuss their faith.  The relationship you mentioned sounds like it is a “talk when we can” sort of situation, and so it can be hard to cover anything in a systematic, step-by-step way.  Lord willing, you will eventually be able to have a sit-down class with this individual, but until then, you are really just trying to get him thinking about how important this issue is.

In the past, we have talked with our atheist friends about their faith, and it can really jar their eyes open.  Most atheists believe they don’t have faith, but this simply isn’t true.  An atheist cannot prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no God any more than you or I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is.  At some point, both the atheist and the theist have faith.  Faith is an inevitable element of life.  Anytime you trust something you can’t see, it is an act of faith (Heb 11:1).  When we take an aspirin, we have faith that it isn’t laced with arsenic.  When we drive, we have faith that the traffic light is telling the other lanes to stop when it tells us to go.  We visit restaurants because we have faith in the recommendation our friend gave us, and we buy houses based on our faith in the home inspector’s report.  Everyone lives by faith – this is an important aspect of life.  If your atheist friend had no faith, he couldn’t function in life.

This is a great place to start because when an atheist realizes that they already live by faith, you can begin to discuss the fact that faith is based off of evidence.  We believe in God because we have been given enough evidence that we can reasonably believe in His existence.  Read “Does God Exist?” for a basic list of evidences.  When an atheist begins to view their life as a life of faith, it changes the discussion from “science vs. religion” to “which faith do I choose?”.  In our humble opinion, this is a good, practical place to start.

I was talking to an atheist the other day, and a question that we both share is the defining question of him being an atheist.  And it is: God sent Jesus to Earth to die for our sins; well, since the universe is so big, and there is most likely some other place in the universe with life, then did God send another savior to there?  Or are we the only planet out of the nearly infinite universe with life?  I’m currently going through a point in my faith where I’m questioning a lot, and I just wanted to know why are we here.

Sincerely,
Intelligent Lifeform

Dear Intelligent Lifeform,

The Scriptures don’t say anything directly about aliens (which is really what we are talking about when we discuss other sentient beings in this universe), but they do say several things that make sentient life on other planets highly unlikely.

1. God made mankind in His image (Gen 1:26). That is where we get our free will, reason, emotion, conscience, etc. The whole point of alien life is that there is a species of life among the stars that is equal to mankind. God says that man has no equal.
2. In the creation story found in Genesis chapter one, Earth seems to be the central focus of the story. The stars, heavenly bodies, etc. are given only a brisk overview. The implication is that Earth is the center of all organic life; it is the central purpose of the creation. It would be odd for God to leave out the part where He made other life-sustaining planets with other sentient beings.
3. Jesus came to die for mankind (1 Cor 15:3) and the people of this world (Jhn 3:16). If there were aliens that had intelligence, souls, and freewill like humanity, wouldn’t God care equally for their souls? If aliens do exist… it seems that they have been left out of the blessing of forgiveness in Christ.

None of these reasons explicitly deny the existence of alien life; they just make the chances very, very improbable. Perhaps someday we will find some plants, fungus, or bacteria on another planet, but I doubt we will ever find E.T.  Which also answers the second part of your question.  We are here because God made us in His image and has given us the free will to choose our own destiny.  His desire is that we, the only sentient creatures created, will choose eternity with Him in heaven (2 Pet 3:9).  If you would like further information on how to choose God, we recommend reading “What Must I Do To Be Saved?”.

I am very troubled and offended by people that go out of their way to discredit the Bible and the existence of God.  I feel there must be something deep down inside of them that asks the question, “What if it’s true?”.  What would some other reasons be for why people discredit the Bible and God’s existence?

Sincerely,
A True Believer

Dear A True Believer,

People reject and seek to destroy Christianity for a number of reasons.  We must make sure to differentiate between those who are actively opposed to Christ and those who simply haven’t become christians.  Only a small portion of society is actively engaged in trying to eradicate God from society.  Those who are vehemently opposed to God have many reasons for being that way:

1. They may be like Paul – actively ignorant.  Paul persecuted the church because he was stubbornly ignorant of the truth about Jesus (1 Tim 1:13).
2. Their consciences have been seared by sin, and their view of the world has been warped by immorality (1 Tim 4:2).
3. Sometimes people oppose God because they have something to gain by pursuing religious (or atheistic) goals.  Their appetites and desire for power become their gods (Php 3:19).
4. They were mistreated and abused by religious people in their past.  If someone has had bad experiences (molestation, abuse, etc.) at the hands of those who professed to serve Christ, they may lash out at God because of their pain and suffering.  This isn’t the right outlet for pain, but it certainly does happen.

Ultimately, we each must stand before God (Heb 9:27).  Whether we believe in God or not – we will all meet Him.

I just received your answer.  However, it has only spawned more questions.

You say that the Bible says the earth is round, and the Bible has written of this.  But what about all the verses of the Bible that suggest that the earth is flat?  “Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea” (Job 11:9)… just to name one (other than all the verses that talk about the ends of the earth).  And how Matthew talks about how the devil took Jesus to the top of a mountain to view all the kingdoms of the earth?  You can’t do this within a sphere.

About the contradictions, I know of one that I’ve personally noticed while reading the Bible during my confirmation.  (Exodus 33:11) “And the Lord spake to Moses face to face, as a man speaketh to his friend.” Compare that to Exodus 33:20: “Thou canst not see My face, for there shall no man see Me and live”.  This is only nine verses later!

About the Bible being widely distributed, that’s not a big deal to some. The Iliad was written more than 500 years prior to the Bible, and it’s unchanged.

I was raised in a religious family, and I have a lot of problems with Christianity.  I have never been able to get straight answers on most topics.  I even read Lee Strobel’s book… I thought it was garbage and biased.  I don’t know if I’ll ever believe again but would really like answers because if I’m wrong, well, I need to know if I am.

Sincerely,
Thoughtful Again

Dear Thoughtful Again,

We’ll handle your questions one at a time.

1. None of the verses you mentioned state that the earth is flat.  Job 11:9 simply compares the expanse and width of the earth to the depths of God’s wisdom (Job 11:7)… a figurative comparison, not a literal one.  Furthermore, all the verses that discuss “the ends of the earth” are exactly the same as when we use that terminology today.  People will often say things like, “I would go to the ends of the earth to find my true love”… that doesn’t imply the earth is flat – it is simply a common turn of phrase that is used in multiple languages.  Lastly, when the devil showed Jesus the kingdoms of the earth from the top of a mountain, you failed to read the rest of the passage.  Lk 4:5 says that the devil showed him all the kingdoms of earth in a moment of time – this was obviously a miraculous occurrence, not a topographical issue.
2. Ex. 33:11 is another case of taking a phrase out of context.  Moses spoke to God “face to face” only in the sense that he talked to God “as a man talks to his friend”.  You have to remember to take context into account with everything that you read.  It is a very common problem for people to “cherry pick” verses out of their context and miss what a verse is really saying.
3. The Iliad is not nearly as widely distributed as the Bible.  The less than seven hundred ancient manuscripts that exist of The Iliad are only in agreement 67% of the time.  On the other hand, there are over 17,000 ancient manuscripts of the Bible… they are in 99% agreement.  A pretty huge difference in quality.
4. As far as your belief that Strobel’s book is biased… how do you account for the fact that he was an atheist before he began writing it?  Also, he isn’t the only author to write on this subject.  We would be happy to recommend dozens of books on this topic if you are interested.

We are so thankful that you are willing to honestly examine the evidence.  You may have never received straight answers in the past, but as you can see… we are happy to offer them here.  This is the most important subject you will ever look into.

I am an atheist who is actively searching for belief in God.  Is this something that can be achieved?  Can somebody with an open mind shift beliefs?

Sincerely,
Thoughtful

Dear Thoughtful,

Your question is one of the fundamental questions of life: “Does God Exist?”  It is important that everyone asks this question at some point in their life.  It is a basic question that is worthy of an honest answer.  We here at AYP believe that anyone with an honest heart can examine the evidence and change.  We believe in God because of the evidence.

We will try to give you some key points that there is a Creator, but we will also point you in the direction of some resources that may help you in your quest for answers.  So here we go:

1. Look at a watch and ask yourself the question, “Is this designed?”  Of course, a watch is designed – just like a house, a car, a camera, and other modern technological marvels.  You know they are designed because they are complex, they have purpose, and they are organized in a meaningful way.  Now look at your eye, your hand, even a single follicle of hair.  Are they designed?  They are infinitely more complex than a watch.  They have very distinct purposes, and they are all organized in a meaningful way.  You were designed by God; you have a Designer.  If you believe in watchmakers, you can believe in God.
2. The most basic laws of science tell us that nothing ever comes from nothing (1^st Law of Thermodynamics).  Einstein made it clear that nothing can be destroyed; energy can turn into matter and matter into energy, but everything that is here has always been here.  That begs the question, “Where did it all come from?”  Scientists all agree that everything we see had to come from somewhere, but the only logical answer to that question is ‘God’.  God, a supernatural deity not bound by the laws of physics, created all that we see and enjoy in this universe.
3. God’s Word is also proof that God is.  The Bible is a book that only God could write.  It has prophecies that are fulfilled hundreds of years after they are spoken.  It has remained unchanged by tradition or persecution for thousands of years.  It makes statements about how our world works hundreds of years before scientists realized the concepts for themselves.  The Bible is a book composed by over forty different writers over thousands of years, and yet it has no contradictions within it.  The Bible could not have been written by anyone but Deity.

These are just three reasons to believe in God; there are many more that space prevents us from mentioning.  We also recommend you go back and read through the posts in our EVIDENCES category.  You will see that you aren’t the only one who has questions about God, and you will also see that there are answers to every question.  We also recommend reading Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel and Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel. Both books are well worth the read.

Many scientists say the world is millions of years old (possibly billions).  The book of Genesis says God created the world in six days.  Are we meant to interpret the Bible in a literal sense?

Sincerely,
Time Troubles

Dear Time Troubles,

Many scientists believe that the earth is billions of years old, many others are unsure, and many believe in the biblical account of creation.  In reality, the scientific community is still undecided.  The biggest reason for this is philosophical.  Depending on whether a scientist believes in God or not, his conclusions to the data will be different.  Many scientists assume that there is no God before they even see the data!

The Bible does say that the world was created in six literal days, and the internal context of the Book doesn’t give us any reason to read those days as figurative.  Groups like www.AnswersinGenesis.org are finding more and more evidence that backs the biblical story of Creation.  It isn’t a battle between science and the Bible (Rom 1:20); it is a battle between believers and unbelievers.

Thank you very much for your response.  While it is very unlikely that my viewpoint will ever change, I would love for you to point me in the direction of scientific proof of God’s existence.  Like most atheists I know, I am always open to learning new things.

Being married to a christian has not changed my behavior at all.  I was a good, moral, and decent person before… and I still am.  Many uneducated people think that atheists are evil or devoid of morality.  But that would imply that christians are only moral out of fear or that only christians are moral people.  And, in my opinion, that is a pretty big judgment for a christian.

I looked through some previous questions posted on your website, and I have to say… one of them offended me tremendously.  A young woman asked if she should marry her atheist boyfriend.  You replied, “Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.”  Again… I consider that a very biased judgment.  I have NEVER imposed my beliefs on my husband, and I never would.  I support his beliefs 100%.  I don’t share his beliefs, but I love that Christianity satisfies his spiritual needs.  You also said, “Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.”  Like I stated before, my husband and I have a wonderful marriage, and although our views on God differ, we are still more than capable of compromising and working together to make our life the way we want it.  And neither of us have to give in and do anything that goes against our morals.  I don’t cheat on my husband, lie to him, treat him badly, nor do either one of us force our own religious or spiritual beliefs on each other.  Judge lest ye be judged.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Probably our best articles on the subject of God’s existence are “Does God Exist?” and “God Is Alive“.  Both those articles provide lots of information as well as additional books and resources that you and your husband could discuss together.

We never meant to imply that all atheists are devoid of morality; that isn’t true.  The point is that your basis for morality is personal and subjective, and christianity is based off of a concrete and objective moral standard.  Christians believe that God created us, and His Word is the standard for morality (2 Tim 3:16-17)… atheists don’t have that common standard.  We are very happy that your marriage is so successful, but in the many decades of combined counseling that our AYP writers have, you are a singular exception.

Purely out of theological curiosity, we’d love to learn from your experience as an atheist.  Why do you behave in a moral way?  Where do you get your standard for what is moral and immoral?  Would you consider it wrong for someone to murder/rape/torture someone else, and if so, why would you consider it wrong?  Our understanding of atheism is that humans are no different from the rest of the animal kingdom, and animals do all of those things to each other on a regular basis.  Our goal isn’t to be rude – but to understand how an atheist comes to the conclusion that it is important to be decent and moral.  We look forward to your insight.

I have been married to the most wonderful man I have ever known for over nine years.  We have a wonderful marriage; we rarely argue, we discuss things fairly, and we communicate and compromise very well.  We are strong together and very, very happy.  There is only one problem.  I am an atheist.  My husband is a christian.  I do not try to change his mind or ‘convert’ him.  I was raised in a christian home, so I understand his feelings about my faith… or lack thereof.  He worries about my salvation, and he is quite upset that when he gets to heaven, I won’t be there.  Becoming an atheist was a slow and emotional process for me.  When we married, I ‘believed’ in God, but my belief was based only on fear.  I did a lot of research on many different religions of the world, and the more I read, the more atheism made sense to me.  I love him, and his faith makes him happy, so I am 100% supportive of it.  But I cannot force myself to believe in something that I don’t.

My husband and I found a Bible verse a few days ago, and I have asked every christian person that I personally know, and the answer is always different, so my husband suggested I find a website like yours (thank you, Google) and ask the experts, so to speak.  I do not know what your experience is, but I am assuming that since you are a preacher, and this is your line of work, maybe you can help clarify our interpretation of this verse.  Everyone interprets the Bible differently, and who is to say which interpretation is correct?  That’s where I’m hoping you will come in.  My hope is to put my husband’s mind at ease.  We do not intend to divorce.  That is NOT an option.  We have heard that from another preacher, so I’ll just tell you up front that although we will value and appreciate your opinion, your opinion will not end our marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 says:
“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

Dictionary.com defines sanctify as such:
sanc·ti·fy   [sangk-tuh-fahy]
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing.

1. to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate.

2. to purify or free from sin

3. to impart religious sanction to; render legitimate or binding: to sanctify a vow.

4. to entitle to reverence or respect.

5. to make productive of or conducive to spiritual blessing.

Our interpretation, put bluntly, is that because of his faith, I get a free ticket to heaven (IF I’m wrong about my beliefs).  My Aunt (who is VERY religious) says that my interpretation is impossible because the Bible says that the ONLY way to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven is to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior… and that my interpretation contradicts everything the Bible says (hence, my atheism).  But you can look for yourself.  The verse I quoted is in there, too.

So… please help us.  Give us, especially my husband, some guidance in our situation.  Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Whenever we deal with verses in the Bible, it is very important that we remember that no single verse can be viewed without comparing it with other verses.  It is the sum of all God’s Word on any given topic that gives us the truth (Ps 119:160).  The only way for someone to be saved is through Christ (Jhn 14:6); it is impossible to be saved unless we accept Christ by faith (Eph 2:8).

However, the word ‘sanctified’ doesn’t just refer to salvation.  In its most basic sense, the word ‘sanctify’ simply means ‘to be set apart’.  People married to christians are different than those married to unbelievers.  The constant influence and contact that occurs from being married to a christian increases your likelihood of ever obeying the truth.  As 1 Cor 7:16 points out, that influence can eventually lead to the salvation of the unbelieving spouse.  By no means does 1 Cor 7 imply that the unbeliever receives a free ticket to heaven… we all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Php 2:12).

On a separate note, we here at AYP can commiserate with your frustration over fear-based belief in God… we believe the scientific evidence should be the basis for belief in God.  If you are ever interested, we would be happy to point you toward what we believe is the best evidence for God’s existence.  Otherwise, at the very least, hopefully we have provided some clarity on 1 Corinthians 7.

My husband and I love science, exploration, and discovery documentaries.  They are very interesting, but unlike a lot of people, I believe the Lord made all these things on the earth for us that we may marvel at His intelligent design of all things on this planet and the universe and give Him the glory.

As a christian, I personally believe in the whole explanation of the creation.  I also believe that the Word of God is accurate, time-tested, and completely true.  But what does the Bible say to those who believe in evolution?  These people (some believers included) think the description of how man was created may be wrong because of the way it is written and because it leaves a lot of room for false interpretation.

And, let’s face it, I’m sure that a lot of us have a million questions for the Lord about why the Bible was written the way it was and why certain things are not even talked about.  This gives unbelievers reason to try to place doubt into our minds.  However, would you agree with me that it takes more faith to believe in evolution than it does to believe in God’s creation the way it is explained?  I guess my question is as I asked before: what does the Bible say to those who believe only in coincidence and/or evolution?

Sincerely,
Natural Wonderer

Dear Natural Wonderer,

Ironically, the Bible doesn’t say much to those who believe that we are all a cosmic accident.  The only verse in the Bible that specifically deals with atheism is Ps 53:1 which says, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ ”  From God’s perspective, there is so much abundant evidence of a Creator that an honest heart will admit it.  Statistically, this is also true – even with the rampant spread of evolutionary teachings, only a miniscule percentage (1.6%) of the American population consider themselves atheists.  Rom 1:20 states that God built the universe, so it might stand as ever-sufficient evidence of His existence.

Studying Creation evidence is an enjoyable and wonderful thing.  We here at AYP have an entire section devoted to Bible Evidences, but ultimately, if someone has totally disregarded the existence of God… Psalm 53:1 says they will be a very hard nut to crack.

So, I recently started a conversation about God with a friend who is an atheist, and I’m having some trouble putting words together.  I’m starting to get a little fired up, and I know that’s only going to result in anger and misspoken points.  I’m posting the last bit of our conversation:

FRIEND: How can one be sure?  An eternity is endless, meaning that all things will come to pass.  Consider this; if you believe in this eternal place, all things WILL happen there.  Will you not one day go mad with boredom?  To say you will never want for more or tire of the same is impossible: you are faced with the dilemma of eternity.  Even if you believe that god is responsible for time itself, do you believe any person is suited to last forever?  I most certainly haven’t met any, by god’s ten standards or my own.

ME: Who is to say that there has to be an end or that new things won’t be created?  And I believe that every person has been suited to last forever, either in heaven or hell.  It is only by God’s grace that we as humans have the ability to live eternally one way or another.

FRIEND:  So god is responsible for our creation.  So people must be doomed to hell at their creation?  Isn’t the fault of the individual on god’s hand, not on the person?  If suited such, the person has no say in their destiny and is damned to hell for simply being as god himself created him.  So, by god’s grace (in this example, I will choose some infidel off the top of my head, hmmm… let’s say… don’t know… myself, for example) – I am dammed to hell because god made me so.  Tell me, my friend, do you believe I am suited for an eternity of hell?  You think your god made me just to hurt me?  Isn’t that evil?  Isn’t that twisted and sick?  Imagine I was made just for pain.  Now look at your god and look at his creation and tell him he is good and pure; tell him you have never questioned him and his righteousness.  Just don’t forget about those he created who cannot believe.  Then, once you have done that, I beg you to tell me that I am suited for hell for eternity.  I will laugh and go with a smile.  What other use do I have?  I was damned at creation, an eternal dog for him to beat.  Haven’t you asked yourself these same questions?

I need help figuring out a good response to his last message.  You guys popped into my head the moment I read this, so I thought I’d ask.  Thank you so much!

Sincerely,
The Debater

Dear The Debater,

Right now your friend is framing the debate by asking you to explain whether or not you like the way God is (he is wrong on a lot of these points, but, for now, dealing with every misspoken word would be more of a distraction… however, it might be worth pointing out that God doesn’t make anyone sinful – everyone is born free from sin and has the freedom to choose their own destiny; take a look at “Enough Love To Let Us Choose”).  The best defense is a good offense… it’s time to turn the tables on him.  The important question isn’t whether or not we like the way God is – the important question is: “Is there a God?”  If you can prove that there is a God, then regardless of whether you like Him, you have to deal with Him.  It is no different than having your tire go flat on the freeway – even if you don’t like it, you are still stuck!  We recommend that you tell your friend that you can present evidence that God really does exist.  Make the debate about truth, and you will win every time; this will also throw him off guard because most atheists try and flaunt that they are the intellectually honest ones.

The first thing you will need to do is prove that God exists.  Our articles “God Is Alive?” and “Does God Exist?” should help with that situation.  Something never comes from nothing, and life never comes from non-life.

The second thing is to prove that the Bible is a supernaturally written book.  The Bible is unlike any other printed material on this planet.  It contains detailed prophecies that have been documented by history as being fulfilled.  It also was scientifically accurate long before mankind understood modern science, and it has shown consistency throughout thousands of years of its existence.  Read “Who Wrote The Bible?” for an in-depth look at why the Bible had to be authored by God.

These two subjects are the beginning for all debate with an atheist.  Until we can agree that God exists and the Bible is His Word… we simply can’t go any further in the conversation.  Start there and see where it goes.  And if in doubt, dare them to askyourpreacher.org!

I know this is a big topic, so sorry in advance for any cans it opens of the worm-kind.

Why does evolution have to be anti-Bible?  Even science’s answer for how things got started doesn’t take out the magic of God’s hand.  I wanted to know if I can believe what science says and follow the Good Book without contradiction.  Or do I have to choose a side?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Straddling The Fence

Dear Straddling The Fence,

The Bible isn’t anti-science, but it is anti-evolution.  Darwinian evolution teaches that all life came from non-life and that man evolved from single-cell organisms (sometimes referred to as “goo-to-you” evolution).  The Bible specifically says that this didn’t happen.  God handcrafted Adam and Eve in His image (Gen 1:26-27).  Darwinian evolution also states that it would require billions of years to occur; God says that He made everything in six days (Gen 2:1-3).

The Bible is in complete agreement with science though.  The Bible mentions the world being round before anyone knew it (Isa 40:22), and it described the water-vapor cycle hundreds of years before modern meteorologists got it figured out (Job 36:27-28).  The Bible is completely scientifically accurate.  What most of the textbooks won’t tell you is that many scientists believe in the creation story found in the Bible.  Darwinian evolution is under attack by many scientists because the more we learn, the less plausible it becomes.  Books like Case For A Creator, Darwin’s Black Box, and Icons Of Evolution along with groups of scientists like those at Answers In Genesis are beginning to point out the flaws in Darwin’s claims.  True science backs up the Biblical account of Creation all the time.

Hi.  While my faith has recently been shaky, I’m happy to say that I am a whole-hearted believer in God.  My closest friend, however, is far from that which is something I’ve started to question God about.

She is very intelligent, especially in the sciences.  Actually, to be honest, we both are rather gifted in that area which is probably what brought us together.  But the most important thing that separates us is that she doesn’t believe in God, and she has a lot of scientific evidence to back up her opinion.  I have my evidence too, but whenever the subject comes up, she refuses to talk about it, saying she’s concerned she’ll ruin my faith.  How do I reach out to a person like this?  It hurts me so much to see her live out her life with obvious gaps that only God can fill.

Any suggestions on how to direct my friend to the Lord without ruining our friendship?  She has developed something against religion recently, saying that it’s just a tool used through history to give people power and reason to kill.  This really bothers me, but again, the friendship is so important to me, and I don’t want to lose it.  At the same time, her salvation is also at least that important to me.  Thanks, and God bless.

Sincerely,
A Proven Friend

Dear A Proven Friend,

You are obviously dealing with a very intelligent person who has formed her own opinions… but without all the data.  What we normally do when studying with someone like this is to hand them a couple of books and tell them we would like to hear their thoughts after they are finished reading.  That has a two-fold effect:

1. It takes all wrangling over words out of the picture because it isn’t an argument anymore… they are simply reading.
2. It shows you how serious they are about pursuing the subject.  If it is important, they will read and get back to you, but if it isn’t important, the subject will just get dropped.  Either way, you can have a clear conscience that you tried to help.

In this circumstance, we recommend “Evidence That Demands A Verdict” by Josh McDowell (this book should address much of the argument of the Bible being used as a tool to hurt others).  We also recommend “Case For A Creator” by Lee Strobel to deal with the scientific arguments and “Has God Spoken?” by A.O. Schnabel (which addresses the internal evidence of the Bible’s supernatural origins).  That is our recommendation on the topic… less confrontation and more information.

I understand that marrying a non-believer may not be the smartest thing to do because it is likely to cause more problems than if you married a Christian; however, would it prevent me from going to heaven?

Sincerely,
Not An Atheist

Dear Not An Atheist,

No single sin will prevent you from going to heaven, but the mentality of “Well, it’s only one sin; maybe it isn’t that big of a deal”… can.  A murderer who repents of murder can go to heaven (Paul did – 1 Tim 1:15-16).  A thief who repents can go to heaven (the thief on the cross did – Lk 23:39-43).  All sins can be forgiven in Christ (1 Jn 1:7), but what you are asking is different.  You are asking whether or not you can do something wrong and it be okay… that is a dangerous path to travel.  The moment we begin “cutting corners” with our salvation, we run into problems.  We can’t tell you that marrying a non-believer will send you to hell, but we have told you that it is a sin.  A sin is a sin – avoid them all.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who is perfect in every way except that he is a strongly believing atheist, but he never imposes his beliefs on me.  I wanted to know if I married him, would it be a sin, what would happen to my soul, and would it be something that would prevent me from going to heaven?  I am confused when I turn to the Bible for answers because 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 and 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 are contradictory.

P.S. I actually just broke up with him a few days ago because I didn’t want to be in a relationship that God didn’t approve of.  I still love him but am holding off on my permanent decision of whether to be with him or not until I get this question answered.  Thank you so much.  God Bless.

Sincerely,
Not An Atheist

Dear Not An Atheist,

It is wrong to marry someone who isn’t a christian.  1 Cor 7:12-16 deals with what to do if you are already married to an unbeliever (for example if you became a christian after already being married), and 2 Cor 6:14-18 explains what to do to avoid getting into an unhealthy marital situation.  Paul clearly states that christians should seek to marry only those who are also “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.  People are always on their best behavior during the “wooing” stage of a romance.  When you marry a man, you are deciding that you trust him to be the head of your household (Eph 5:23).  You simply cannot trust a man that doesn’t believe in God to properly guide the direction of your family.  Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.  Do not become unequally yoked to this man.

I have been searching for God and trying to convince myself of Jesus being my savior, but I am still on my journey, I suppose.  I’m concerned that I’ll die and be unforgiven before I can finally convince myself of God.  Perhaps this is something only God can help me with?  I’m a true skeptic, but I have been finding increasing evidence of there being a divine creator, God.  Should I pray to Him that He reveals Himself to me?  I guess my real question is… will He forgive me for not believing in Him when I am not convinced of Him?  I haven’t read the Bible yet, and I’ve been increasingly convinced; should I read the Bible, all of it?  What if I don’t read it before I die?  It does sort of feel like I am being pursued by God to believe in Him… I’m just not yet convinced…

(I used to be christian; then I rejected Christ because I realized I was ‘believing’ without actually believing.  I couldn’t live as a hypocrite to myself, still can’t today).

Like Plato talked about, I don’t wish to be a blind man just happening to take the right path.  That is not knowledge.  If knowledge only truly comes from Him, when will He bless me with it, so I may know Him?  It’s so backwards to me… doesn’t the Bible say that He will only reveal Himself to me after I put faith in Him before I can convince myself of Him?  Sometimes I want to believe; it’s just the doubt… like I said though, maybe it’s just the journey I have to take without any help.  Would God put me on one of those journeys?  Will I be lost as long as I strive to be an intelligent and rational human being that bases belief on incidences in my life I’m convinced of?

There have been times where God has answered me… I’d say “God, if you do this for me, I will never doubt you again.”  It would then happen, but I ended up brushing it off as coincidence afterward… this was when I was really young though.

Doubt has to be the hardest problem to deal with… maybe I just want reassurance that I’ll find Him; it’s only a matter of time, and if I don’t find Him, He’ll be understanding as long as I was given a reasonable amount of time in my life and enough evidence to convince me that He is there.  I don’t like dogma…

I apologize for this being so long; I guess I just needed to get it out… I also want some guidance I guess.  Is there any Bible verses online that could help deal with this?  Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Unconvinced

Dear Unconvinced,

No, the Bible does not say that God will only reveal Himself to you once you have faith.  God reveals Himself to all of mankind through creation (Rom 1:20) and through His Word (Rom 10:17).  Many religious groups that profess to be christian teach the circular logic that you can’t know about God until you trust in Him – that is wrong.  We have an entire section of AskYourPreacher.org that is dedicated to EVIDENCES.  We here at AYP became christians because of the evidence.  These evidences are found in creation, the proven fulfilled prophecies of the Bible, the uniqueness of the Scriptures, and the proven accuracy of the Bible (we recommend you read “God Is Alive” and “Who Wrote The Bible”).

God will not forgive you for not believing in Him because He has made so much evidence available to prove His existence.  From mountains to molecules, this world screams of a Creator.  Seek the truth, and the truth will set you free (Jhn 8:32).  We too once doubted God’s existence, but after reading books like Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell, A Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel, and Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel (too name a few) – it became very clear that there is real proof that God truly is alive.  After you’ve taken some time to read some of these articles and material, write us back at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we would be happy to show you what it takes to become a christian and find a faithful church to be a part of.  The truth is out there for those (like yourself) seeking it (Matt 7:7).

Why is it that we are to believe the earth started 6,000 years ago?  It makes no sense.  I think that God created the universe six billion years ago, and at every stage, He has built and destroyed along the way.  The dinosaurs, for example, why couldn’t He have gotten bored with them, killed them off, and one million years later came back and created something new on the earth?

My point is that Satan was already Satan before Adam and Eve, but before that he was an angel and had dominion over the earth.  Okay, well when?  When it was without shape or form?  Makes no sense.  I think God has created destroyed and recreated this earth many times over, and for the life of me, my very soul, I can not be blind to how old this earth is.  My faith is not in question; my question is with the church because I think God has done this since He created the universe.

I do not want to limit His power because I’m told by a human the earth is six–thousand-years-old, and I also think these half-human ape-looking bones that geologists find could be His first shot at making mankind, and things did not go so great, and He wiped them out.  I don’t believe in earth evolution, but perhaps a God evolution where it took Him a while to create living, breathing, thinking beings… and I do not limit His power in thinking this.  This has to come from God Himself.  I think my question is for Him.

Sincerely,
REALLY Old Earth

Dear REALLY Old Earth,

There is one major problem with what you’ve asserted – it is the opposite of what the Bible says, and God wrote the Bible.  The idea of evolution, even theistic evolution, is contrary to Scriptures.  You listed a smorgasborg of contradictory theories: multiple destructions of the earth, ape-men existing before Adam & Eve, and God “learning” how to create.  It would take more faith than we here at AYP have to believe in the ideas that you are trying to have us swallow.  The Bible answer is much simpler.  God created the universe in six days (Gen 1:1-31).  When God created the universe, He created everything good – the first time (Gen 1:31).  If the theory of evolution is true, then God didn’t create everything good; He created it flawed, warped, and dysfunctional.

The Bible says that it is mankind that introduced the curse of sin into the world (Gen 3:17).  The world was perfect, without flaw and without defect.  Animals lived in harmony with man, and there was no bloodshed.  If evolution is true, not only did God not create a good world, Adam & Eve never existed!  Adam & Eve don’t exist in evolutionary models; they are replaced by a slow progression from amoeba to man.  We cannot accept both the Bible account of creation and the Darwinian theory of evolution – they are not compatible with each other.  Theistic evolution is an attempt to reconcile evolution with the Bible, but in truth, the two cannot be reconciled.  Science doesn’t disagree with the Bible – the two are in perfect harmony (visit AnswersinGenesis.org to see some of the impressive things scientists are finding out that prove the Bible to be true).  God says that the creation speaks of His existence (Rom 1:18-20).  It isn’t a battle between science and the Bible; it is a battle between evolutionists and preachers.  We here at AYP accept the Bible account of creation, and we prayerfully suggest you do the same.

The Bible says that Jesus said, “No one gets to the Father except through me”, which I have been taught means if you don’t believe God is the Father and Jesus is His Son, you don’t/won’t go to heaven.

My question is: does this mean that three quarters of the world’s population (non-christians, Jews, Mormons, the Dalai Lama, etc.) who don’t believe that Jesus is the Son of God aren’t going to heaven?  It doesn’t seem to me that the God I believe in would let this happen.

Sincerely,
Sympathy For The Masses

Dear Sympathy For The Masses,

The verse you are referring to is Jhn 14:6.  Here is a great example of a fork in the road for christians.  Will we take the Bible at face value and accept what God says, or will we ignore certain verses in order to mold God into an image that is more suitable for us?  You are absolutely right; there is no mistaking the implications of Jhn 14:6.  All that do not follow Christ will not be saved.  In fact, there are other verses that re-emphasize this message.  Jesus said that the way to salvation was narrow, and the way to destruction was wide (Matt 7:13).  He also says that many people will erroneously claim to have served God and will be turned away on the Judgment Day (Matt 7:22-23).

These verses do exclude large swaths of mankind from heaven.  However, if we believe the Bible to be God’s infallible Word (and we here at AYP do – read “Who Wrote The Bible” to see why we are so convinced), then we must accept that the same loving God who would send His own Son to die for our sins has a very good reason for being so picky about who goes to heaven.  Remember, God doesn’t condemn people to hell; it is our sinful choices that does that (Rom 6:23).  Jehovah offers us salvation through His Son, even though we deserve death (Jhn 3:16).

I read Richard Dawkins book The God Delusion, and having doubts, on my own made the switch from christian to agnostic.  I had been accepted into Christ during my youth and later in my life came closer to Christ, enforcing my beliefs.

After reading this book, as I said, I had made the switch and confessed to both my parents and a few friends that I didn’t believe in the Bible.

My parents, as I would have guessed, cannot stand the fact that I denied Christ.

Now, I am having doubts, feeling that I just lost my soul and that I am going to hell for the mistake I made.  (I made this choice before, once or twice, but felt God forgave me and that He was still drawing me closer.)

Now I am unsure what to believe – people or the Bible – and what my faith is.  I want to come back to being a christian, but I am afraid there is no use as Jesus said, “Whoever denies Me, I will deny to My Father.”

Is there really no hope?  Am I lost for good?

Sincerely,
Soul In Despair

Dear Soul In Despair,

Yes, there is hope, and no, you aren’t lost for good.  Your question has two parts to it.

1. Can I be forgiven of denying God?
2. Does God really exist, or is Richard Dawkins right?

You can be forgiven of denying God.  Paul was forgiven of denying Jesus (1 Cor 15:9-10).  Peter denied Jesus (Matt 26:75), and he was forgiven.  Now is the time to repent and begin anew.  We recommend you read “What Must I Do To Be Saved” to learn about what it takes to obey God.

The second part of your question has a little more depth to it.  The short answer is, yes, God does exist.  We have several articles that you might want to read.  Read through our articles in the EVIDENCES category of the archive; almost all of them pertain to your situation and will reinforce your belief in God.  We also recommend that you rent or buy “Expelled” by Ben Stein.  That movie has an interview with Richard Dawkins where Dawkins admits that he has no idea where life came from.  He even guesses it might be aliens that put life on this planet!  That film does a good job of exposing the bias and prejudices that men like Richard Dawkins have.  And last, but not certainly not least, we highly recommend that you go to our congregation’s main website (www.mvchurchofchrist.org) and listen to a series of lessons preached by a geologist, Dr. Don Patton, on Science and Creation.  Every one of those sources should help to reinforce that evolutionists don’t have the answers; God’s Word does.

Hi, I’m 13, and I’ve got a lot of friends at my school.  Most of them are christian. However, there is one that is a mormon and one that is an athiest. Is it wrong to be friends with them?

Sincerely,
Choosing Carefully

Dear Choosing Carefully,

There is a difference between a friend and a close intimate friend. Not all friendships are equal. David and Jonathan’s friendship was so close they were like brothers (1 Sam 18:1). Jesus was close to all his apostles- but especially to Peter, James, and John (Mk 5:37). Jesus also was kind and friendly to the tax collectors and sinners (Mk 2:15-16), but there wasn’t a great amount of depth to His relationship with them unless they converted. Best friends, friends, and casual friends are all friends, but not all are equal.

As you choose your friends you will need to make an assessment of how deep the friendship should be. Do they have the same values as you? Are they good people? Do they help you to be a better person? Are you their friend because they need you or vice versa? There isn’t anything wrong with being friends with people who aren’t exactly like you, but it is important to make sure that they aren’t leading you away from God. Any friend that influences you to compromise your morals or mocks you for being such a ‘goodie-goodie’ is not really a friend at all. However, if your mormon and atheist friends are willing to accept you as you are, then let your light shine. Maybe you will win them to Christ! Letting unbelievers see your life is one of the most important parts of being a christian (Matt 5:16).

Don’t shy away from people just because they aren’t christians, but be careful that your deepest, closest friendships are with people who have the same values as you. Always be aware of the danger of being corrupted by the world when you are choosing your closest friends (1 Cor 15:33).