(This article is a response to “His And Her Beliefs”)

Thank you very much for your response.  While it is very unlikely that my viewpoint will ever change, I would love for you to point me in the direction of scientific proof of God’s existence.  Like most atheists I know, I am always open to learning new things.

Being married to a christian has not changed my behavior at all.  I was a good, moral, and decent person before… and I still am.  Many uneducated people think that atheists are evil or devoid of morality.  But that would imply that christians are only moral out of fear or that only christians are moral people.  And, in my opinion, that is a pretty big judgment for a christian.

I looked through some previous questions posted on your website, and I have to say… one of them offended me tremendously.  A young woman asked if she should marry her atheist boyfriend.  You replied, “Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.”  Again… I consider that a very biased judgment.  I have NEVER imposed my beliefs on my husband, and I never would.  I support his beliefs 100%.  I don’t share his beliefs, but I love that Christianity satisfies his spiritual needs.  You also said, “Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.”  Like I stated before, my husband and I have a wonderful marriage, and although our views on God differ, we are still more than capable of compromising and working together to make our life the way we want it.  And neither of us have to give in and do anything that goes against our morals.  I don’t cheat on my husband, lie to him, treat him badly, nor do either one of us force our own religious or spiritual beliefs on each other.  Judge lest ye be judged.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Probably our best articles on the subject of God’s existence are “Does God Exist?” and “God Is Alive“.  Both those articles provide lots of information as well as additional books and resources that you and your husband could discuss together.

We never meant to imply that all atheists are devoid of morality; that isn’t true.  The point is that your basis for morality is personal and subjective, and christianity is based off of a concrete and objective moral standard.  Christians believe that God created us, and His Word is the standard for morality (2 Tim 3:16-17)… atheists don’t have that common standard.  We are very happy that your marriage is so successful, but in the many decades of combined counseling that our AYP writers have, you are a singular exception.

Purely out of theological curiosity, we’d love to learn from your experience as an atheist.  Why do you behave in a moral way?  Where do you get your standard for what is moral and immoral?  Would you consider it wrong for someone to murder/rape/torture someone else, and if so, why would you consider it wrong?  Our understanding of atheism is that humans are no different from the rest of the animal kingdom, and animals do all of those things to each other on a regular basis.  Our goal isn’t to be rude – but to understand how an atheist comes to the conclusion that it is important to be decent and moral.  We look forward to your insight.

I have been married to the most wonderful man I have ever known for over nine years.  We have a wonderful marriage; we rarely argue, we discuss things fairly, and we communicate and compromise very well.  We are strong together and very, very happy.  There is only one problem.  I am an atheist.  My husband is a christian.  I do not try to change his mind or ‘convert’ him.  I was raised in a christian home, so I understand his feelings about my faith… or lack thereof.  He worries about my salvation, and he is quite upset that when he gets to heaven, I won’t be there.  Becoming an atheist was a slow and emotional process for me.  When we married, I ‘believed’ in God, but my belief was based only on fear.  I did a lot of research on many different religions of the world, and the more I read, the more atheism made sense to me.  I love him, and his faith makes him happy, so I am 100% supportive of it.  But I cannot force myself to believe in something that I don’t.

My husband and I found a Bible verse a few days ago, and I have asked every christian person that I personally know, and the answer is always different, so my husband suggested I find a website like yours (thank you, Google) and ask the experts, so to speak.  I do not know what your experience is, but I am assuming that since you are a preacher, and this is your line of work, maybe you can help clarify our interpretation of this verse.  Everyone interprets the Bible differently, and who is to say which interpretation is correct?  That’s where I’m hoping you will come in.  My hope is to put my husband’s mind at ease.  We do not intend to divorce.  That is NOT an option.  We have heard that from another preacher, so I’ll just tell you up front that although we will value and appreciate your opinion, your opinion will not end our marriage.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14 says:
“To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her.  And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him.  For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband.”

Dictionary.com defines sanctify as such:
sanc·ti·fy   [sangk-tuh-fahy]
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing.

1. to make holy; set apart as sacred; consecrate.

2. to purify or free from sin

3. to impart religious sanction to; render legitimate or binding: to sanctify a vow.

4. to entitle to reverence or respect.

5. to make productive of or conducive to spiritual blessing.

Our interpretation, put bluntly, is that because of his faith, I get a free ticket to heaven (IF I’m wrong about my beliefs).  My Aunt (who is VERY religious) says that my interpretation is impossible because the Bible says that the ONLY way to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven is to accept Christ as your Lord and Savior… and that my interpretation contradicts everything the Bible says (hence, my atheism).  But you can look for yourself.  The verse I quoted is in there, too.

So… please help us.  Give us, especially my husband, some guidance in our situation.  Thank you very much for your time.

Sincerely,
Atheist Bride

Dear Atheist Bride,

Whenever we deal with verses in the Bible, it is very important that we remember that no single verse can be viewed without comparing it with other verses.  It is the sum of all God’s Word on any given topic that gives us the truth (Ps 119:160).  The only way for someone to be saved is through Christ (Jhn 14:6); it is impossible to be saved unless we accept Christ by faith (Eph 2:8).

However, the word ‘sanctified’ doesn’t just refer to salvation.  In its most basic sense, the word ‘sanctify’ simply means ‘to be set apart’.  People married to christians are different than those married to unbelievers.  The constant influence and contact that occurs from being married to a christian increases your likelihood of ever obeying the truth.  As 1 Cor 7:16 points out, that influence can eventually lead to the salvation of the unbelieving spouse.  By no means does 1 Cor 7 imply that the unbeliever receives a free ticket to heaven… we all have to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling (Php 2:12).

On a separate note, we here at AYP can commiserate with your frustration over fear-based belief in God… we believe the scientific evidence should be the basis for belief in God.  If you are ever interested, we would be happy to point you toward what we believe is the best evidence for God’s existence.  Otherwise, at the very least, hopefully we have provided some clarity on 1 Corinthians 7.

My husband and I love science, exploration, and discovery documentaries.  They are very interesting, but unlike a lot of people, I believe the Lord made all these things on the earth for us that we may marvel at His intelligent design of all things on this planet and the universe and give Him the glory.

As a christian, I personally believe in the whole explanation of the creation.  I also believe that the Word of God is accurate, time-tested, and completely true.  But what does the Bible say to those who believe in evolution?  These people (some believers included) think the description of how man was created may be wrong because of the way it is written and because it leaves a lot of room for false interpretation.

And, let’s face it, I’m sure that a lot of us have a million questions for the Lord about why the Bible was written the way it was and why certain things are not even talked about.  This gives unbelievers reason to try to place doubt into our minds.  However, would you agree with me that it takes more faith to believe in evolution than it does to believe in God’s creation the way it is explained?  I guess my question is as I asked before: what does the Bible say to those who believe only in coincidence and/or evolution?

Sincerely,
Natural Wonderer

Dear Natural Wonderer,

Ironically, the Bible doesn’t say much to those who believe that we are all a cosmic accident.  The only verse in the Bible that specifically deals with atheism is Ps 53:1 which says, “The fool says in his heart, ‘There is no God.’ ”  From God’s perspective, there is so much abundant evidence of a Creator that an honest heart will admit it.  Statistically, this is also true – even with the rampant spread of evolutionary teachings, only a miniscule percentage (1.6%) of the American population consider themselves atheists.  Rom 1:20 states that God built the universe, so it might stand as ever-sufficient evidence of His existence.

Studying Creation evidence is an enjoyable and wonderful thing.  We here at AYP have an entire section devoted to Bible Evidences, but ultimately, if someone has totally disregarded the existence of God… Psalm 53:1 says they will be a very hard nut to crack.

So, I recently started a conversation about God with a friend who is an atheist, and I’m having some trouble putting words together.  I’m starting to get a little fired up, and I know that’s only going to result in anger and misspoken points.  I’m posting the last bit of our conversation:

FRIEND: How can one be sure?  An eternity is endless, meaning that all things will come to pass.  Consider this; if you believe in this eternal place, all things WILL happen there.  Will you not one day go mad with boredom?  To say you will never want for more or tire of the same is impossible: you are faced with the dilemma of eternity.  Even if you believe that god is responsible for time itself, do you believe any person is suited to last forever?  I most certainly haven’t met any, by god’s ten standards or my own.

ME: Who is to say that there has to be an end or that new things won’t be created?  And I believe that every person has been suited to last forever, either in heaven or hell.  It is only by God’s grace that we as humans have the ability to live eternally one way or another.

FRIEND:  So god is responsible for our creation.  So people must be doomed to hell at their creation?  Isn’t the fault of the individual on god’s hand, not on the person?  If suited such, the person has no say in their destiny and is damned to hell for simply being as god himself created him.  So, by god’s grace (in this example, I will choose some infidel off the top of my head, hmmm… let’s say… don’t know… myself, for example) – I am dammed to hell because god made me so.  Tell me, my friend, do you believe I am suited for an eternity of hell?  You think your god made me just to hurt me?  Isn’t that evil?  Isn’t that twisted and sick?  Imagine I was made just for pain.  Now look at your god and look at his creation and tell him he is good and pure; tell him you have never questioned him and his righteousness.  Just don’t forget about those he created who cannot believe.  Then, once you have done that, I beg you to tell me that I am suited for hell for eternity.  I will laugh and go with a smile.  What other use do I have?  I was damned at creation, an eternal dog for him to beat.  Haven’t you asked yourself these same questions?

I need help figuring out a good response to his last message.  You guys popped into my head the moment I read this, so I thought I’d ask.  Thank you so much!

Sincerely,
The Debater

Dear The Debater,

Right now your friend is framing the debate by asking you to explain whether or not you like the way God is (he is wrong on a lot of these points, but, for now, dealing with every misspoken word would be more of a distraction… however, it might be worth pointing out that God doesn’t make anyone sinful – everyone is born free from sin and has the freedom to choose their own destiny; take a look at “Enough Love To Let Us Choose”).  The best defense is a good offense… it’s time to turn the tables on him.  The important question isn’t whether or not we like the way God is – the important question is: “Is there a God?”  If you can prove that there is a God, then regardless of whether you like Him, you have to deal with Him.  It is no different than having your tire go flat on the freeway – even if you don’t like it, you are still stuck!  We recommend that you tell your friend that you can present evidence that God really does exist.  Make the debate about truth, and you will win every time; this will also throw him off guard because most atheists try and flaunt that they are the intellectually honest ones.

The first thing you will need to do is prove that God exists.  Our articles “God Is Alive?” and “Does God Exist?” should help with that situation.  Something never comes from nothing, and life never comes from non-life.

The second thing is to prove that the Bible is a supernaturally written book.  The Bible is unlike any other printed material on this planet.  It contains detailed prophecies that have been documented by history as being fulfilled.  It also was scientifically accurate long before mankind understood modern science, and it has shown consistency throughout thousands of years of its existence.  Read “Who Wrote The Bible?” for an in-depth look at why the Bible had to be authored by God.

These two subjects are the beginning for all debate with an atheist.  Until we can agree that God exists and the Bible is His Word… we simply can’t go any further in the conversation.  Start there and see where it goes.  And if in doubt, dare them to askyourpreacher.org!

I know this is a big topic, so sorry in advance for any cans it opens of the worm-kind.

Why does evolution have to be anti-Bible?  Even science’s answer for how things got started doesn’t take out the magic of God’s hand.  I wanted to know if I can believe what science says and follow the Good Book without contradiction.  Or do I have to choose a side?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Straddling The Fence

Dear Straddling The Fence,

The Bible isn’t anti-science, but it is anti-evolution.  Darwinian evolution teaches that all life came from non-life and that man evolved from single-cell organisms (sometimes referred to as “goo-to-you” evolution).  The Bible specifically says that this didn’t happen.  God handcrafted Adam and Eve in His image (Gen 1:26-27).  Darwinian evolution also states that it would require billions of years to occur; God says that He made everything in six days (Gen 2:1-3).

The Bible is in complete agreement with science though.  The Bible mentions the world being round before anyone knew it (Isa 40:22), and it described the water-vapor cycle hundreds of years before modern meteorologists got it figured out (Job 36:27-28).  The Bible is completely scientifically accurate.  What most of the textbooks won’t tell you is that many scientists believe in the creation story found in the Bible.  Darwinian evolution is under attack by many scientists because the more we learn, the less plausible it becomes.  Books like Case For A Creator, Darwin’s Black Box, and Icons Of Evolution along with groups of scientists like those at Answers In Genesis are beginning to point out the flaws in Darwin’s claims.  True science backs up the Biblical account of Creation all the time.

Hi.  While my faith has recently been shaky, I’m happy to say that I am a whole-hearted believer in God.  My closest friend, however, is far from that which is something I’ve started to question God about.

She is very intelligent, especially in the sciences.  Actually, to be honest, we both are rather gifted in that area which is probably what brought us together.  But the most important thing that separates us is that she doesn’t believe in God, and she has a lot of scientific evidence to back up her opinion.  I have my evidence too, but whenever the subject comes up, she refuses to talk about it, saying she’s concerned she’ll ruin my faith.  How do I reach out to a person like this?  It hurts me so much to see her live out her life with obvious gaps that only God can fill.

Any suggestions on how to direct my friend to the Lord without ruining our friendship?  She has developed something against religion recently, saying that it’s just a tool used through history to give people power and reason to kill.  This really bothers me, but again, the friendship is so important to me, and I don’t want to lose it.  At the same time, her salvation is also at least that important to me.  Thanks, and God bless.

Sincerely,
A Proven Friend

Dear A Proven Friend,

You are obviously dealing with a very intelligent person who has formed her own opinions… but without all the data.  What we normally do when studying with someone like this is to hand them a couple of books and tell them we would like to hear their thoughts after they are finished reading.  That has a two-fold effect:

1. It takes all wrangling over words out of the picture because it isn’t an argument anymore… they are simply reading.
2. It shows you how serious they are about pursuing the subject.  If it is important, they will read and get back to you, but if it isn’t important, the subject will just get dropped.  Either way, you can have a clear conscience that you tried to help.

In this circumstance, we recommend “Evidence That Demands A Verdict” by Josh McDowell (this book should address much of the argument of the Bible being used as a tool to hurt others).  We also recommend “Case For A Creator” by Lee Strobel to deal with the scientific arguments and “Has God Spoken?” by A.O. Schnabel (which addresses the internal evidence of the Bible’s supernatural origins).  That is our recommendation on the topic… less confrontation and more information.