Hi.  While my faith has recently been shaky, I’m happy to say that I am a whole-hearted believer in God.  My closest friend, however, is far from that which is something I’ve started to question God about.

She is very intelligent, especially in the sciences.  Actually, to be honest, we both are rather gifted in that area which is probably what brought us together.  But the most important thing that separates us is that she doesn’t believe in God, and she has a lot of scientific evidence to back up her opinion.  I have my evidence too, but whenever the subject comes up, she refuses to talk about it, saying she’s concerned she’ll ruin my faith.  How do I reach out to a person like this?  It hurts me so much to see her live out her life with obvious gaps that only God can fill.

Any suggestions on how to direct my friend to the Lord without ruining our friendship?  She has developed something against religion recently, saying that it’s just a tool used through history to give people power and reason to kill.  This really bothers me, but again, the friendship is so important to me, and I don’t want to lose it.  At the same time, her salvation is also at least that important to me.  Thanks, and God bless.

Sincerely,
A Proven Friend

Dear A Proven Friend,

You are obviously dealing with a very intelligent person who has formed her own opinions… but without all the data.  What we normally do when studying with someone like this is to hand them a couple of books and tell them we would like to hear their thoughts after they are finished reading.  That has a two-fold effect:

1. It takes all wrangling over words out of the picture because it isn’t an argument anymore… they are simply reading.
2. It shows you how serious they are about pursuing the subject.  If it is important, they will read and get back to you, but if it isn’t important, the subject will just get dropped.  Either way, you can have a clear conscience that you tried to help.

In this circumstance, we recommend “Evidence That Demands A Verdict” by Josh McDowell (this book should address much of the argument of the Bible being used as a tool to hurt others).  We also recommend “Case For A Creator” by Lee Strobel to deal with the scientific arguments and “Has God Spoken?” by A.O. Schnabel (which addresses the internal evidence of the Bible’s supernatural origins).  That is our recommendation on the topic… less confrontation and more information.

(This question is a follow-up to “A Theist And An Atheist”.)

I understand that marrying a non-believer may not be the smartest thing to do because it is likely to cause more problems than if you married a Christian; however, would it prevent me from going to heaven?

Sincerely,
Not An Atheist

Dear Not An Atheist,

No single sin will prevent you from going to heaven, but the mentality of “Well, it’s only one sin; maybe it isn’t that big of a deal”… can.  A murderer who repents of murder can go to heaven (Paul did – 1 Tim 1:15-16).  A thief who repents can go to heaven (the thief on the cross did – Lk 23:39-43).  All sins can be forgiven in Christ (1 Jn 1:7), but what you are asking is different.  You are asking whether or not you can do something wrong and it be okay… that is a dangerous path to travel.  The moment we begin “cutting corners” with our salvation, we run into problems.  We can’t tell you that marrying a non-believer will send you to hell, but we have told you that it is a sin.  A sin is a sin – avoid them all.

I have a wonderful boyfriend who is perfect in every way except that he is a strongly believing atheist, but he never imposes his beliefs on me.  I wanted to know if I married him, would it be a sin, what would happen to my soul, and would it be something that would prevent me from going to heaven?  I am confused when I turn to the Bible for answers because 1 Corinthians 7:12-16 and 2 Corinthians 6:14-18 are contradictory.

P.S. I actually just broke up with him a few days ago because I didn’t want to be in a relationship that God didn’t approve of.  I still love him but am holding off on my permanent decision of whether to be with him or not until I get this question answered.  Thank you so much.  God Bless.

Sincerely,
Not An Atheist

Dear Not An Atheist,

It is wrong to marry someone who isn’t a christian.  1 Cor 7:12-16 deals with what to do if you are already married to an unbeliever (for example if you became a christian after already being married), and 2 Cor 6:14-18 explains what to do to avoid getting into an unhealthy marital situation.  Paul clearly states that christians should seek to marry only those who are also “in the Lord” (1 Cor 7:39).  Right now, your boyfriend doesn’t impose his beliefs on you because he is still courting your affections; once you are married, that will change – it always does.  People are always on their best behavior during the “wooing” stage of a romance.  When you marry a man, you are deciding that you trust him to be the head of your household (Eph 5:23).  You simply cannot trust a man that doesn’t believe in God to properly guide the direction of your family.  Marriage is a permanent decision; you can’t trust this man to abide by the same rules of marriage as you will.  Religion is the most important factor in a marriage because it affects your morals, how you raise children, your finances, your hobbies, how you treat one another, and a thousand other elements of your future.  Do not become unequally yoked to this man.

I have been searching for God and trying to convince myself of Jesus being my savior, but I am still on my journey, I suppose.  I’m concerned that I’ll die and be unforgiven before I can finally convince myself of God.  Perhaps this is something only God can help me with?  I’m a true skeptic, but I have been finding increasing evidence of there being a divine creator, God.  Should I pray to Him that He reveals Himself to me?  I guess my real question is… will He forgive me for not believing in Him when I am not convinced of Him?  I haven’t read the Bible yet, and I’ve been increasingly convinced; should I read the Bible, all of it?  What if I don’t read it before I die?  It does sort of feel like I am being pursued by God to believe in Him… I’m just not yet convinced…

(I used to be christian; then I rejected Christ because I realized I was ‘believing’ without actually believing.  I couldn’t live as a hypocrite to myself, still can’t today).

Like Plato talked about, I don’t wish to be a blind man just happening to take the right path.  That is not knowledge.  If knowledge only truly comes from Him, when will He bless me with it, so I may know Him?  It’s so backwards to me… doesn’t the Bible say that He will only reveal Himself to me after I put faith in Him before I can convince myself of Him?  Sometimes I want to believe; it’s just the doubt… like I said though, maybe it’s just the journey I have to take without any help.  Would God put me on one of those journeys?  Will I be lost as long as I strive to be an intelligent and rational human being that bases belief on incidences in my life I’m convinced of?

There have been times where God has answered me… I’d say “God, if you do this for me, I will never doubt you again.”  It would then happen, but I ended up brushing it off as coincidence afterward… this was when I was really young though.

Doubt has to be the hardest problem to deal with… maybe I just want reassurance that I’ll find Him; it’s only a matter of time, and if I don’t find Him, He’ll be understanding as long as I was given a reasonable amount of time in my life and enough evidence to convince me that He is there.  I don’t like dogma…

I apologize for this being so long; I guess I just needed to get it out… I also want some guidance I guess.  Is there any Bible verses online that could help deal with this?  Thanks for reading.

Sincerely,
Unconvinced

Dear Unconvinced,

No, the Bible does not say that God will only reveal Himself to you once you have faith.  God reveals Himself to all of mankind through creation (Rom 1:20) and through His Word (Rom 10:17).  Many religious groups that profess to be christian teach the circular logic that you can’t know about God until you trust in Him – that is wrong.  We have an entire section of AskYourPreacher.org that is dedicated to EVIDENCES.  We here at AYP became christians because of the evidence.  These evidences are found in creation, the proven fulfilled prophecies of the Bible, the uniqueness of the Scriptures, and the proven accuracy of the Bible (we recommend you read “God Is Alive” and “Who Wrote The Bible”).

God will not forgive you for not believing in Him because He has made so much evidence available to prove His existence.  From mountains to molecules, this world screams of a Creator.  Seek the truth, and the truth will set you free (Jhn 8:32).  We too once doubted God’s existence, but after reading books like Evidence That Demands A Verdict by Josh McDowell, A Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel, and Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel (too name a few) – it became very clear that there is real proof that God truly is alive.  After you’ve taken some time to read some of these articles and material, write us back at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we would be happy to show you what it takes to become a christian and find a faithful church to be a part of.  The truth is out there for those (like yourself) seeking it (Matt 7:7).

Why is it that we are to believe the earth started 6,000 years ago?  It makes no sense.  I think that God created the universe six billion years ago, and at every stage, He has built and destroyed along the way.  The dinosaurs, for example, why couldn’t He have gotten bored with them, killed them off, and one million years later came back and created something new on the earth?

My point is that Satan was already Satan before Adam and Eve, but before that he was an angel and had dominion over the earth.  Okay, well when?  When it was without shape or form?  Makes no sense.  I think God has created destroyed and recreated this earth many times over, and for the life of me, my very soul, I can not be blind to how old this earth is.  My faith is not in question; my question is with the church because I think God has done this since He created the universe.

I do not want to limit His power because I’m told by a human the earth is six–thousand-years-old, and I also think these half-human ape-looking bones that geologists find could be His first shot at making mankind, and things did not go so great, and He wiped them out.  I don’t believe in earth evolution, but perhaps a God evolution where it took Him a while to create living, breathing, thinking beings… and I do not limit His power in thinking this.  This has to come from God Himself.  I think my question is for Him.

Sincerely,
REALLY Old Earth

Dear REALLY Old Earth,

There is one major problem with what you’ve asserted – it is the opposite of what the Bible says, and God wrote the Bible.  The idea of evolution, even theistic evolution, is contrary to Scriptures.  You listed a smorgasborg of contradictory theories: multiple destructions of the earth, ape-men existing before Adam & Eve, and God “learning” how to create.  It would take more faith than we here at AYP have to believe in the ideas that you are trying to have us swallow.  The Bible answer is much simpler.  God created the universe in six days (Gen 1:1-31).  When God created the universe, He created everything good – the first time (Gen 1:31).  If the theory of evolution is true, then God didn’t create everything good; He created it flawed, warped, and dysfunctional.

The Bible says that it is mankind that introduced the curse of sin into the world (Gen 3:17).  The world was perfect, without flaw and without defect.  Animals lived in harmony with man, and there was no bloodshed.  If evolution is true, not only did God not create a good world, Adam & Eve never existed!  Adam & Eve don’t exist in evolutionary models; they are replaced by a slow progression from amoeba to man.  We cannot accept both the Bible account of creation and the Darwinian theory of evolution – they are not compatible with each other.  Theistic evolution is an attempt to reconcile evolution with the Bible, but in truth, the two cannot be reconciled.  Science doesn’t disagree with the Bible – the two are in perfect harmony (visit AnswersinGenesis.org to see some of the impressive things scientists are finding out that prove the Bible to be true).  God says that the creation speaks of His existence (Rom 1:18-20).  It isn’t a battle between science and the Bible; it is a battle between evolutionists and preachers.  We here at AYP accept the Bible account of creation, and we prayerfully suggest you do the same.

The Bible says that Jesus said, “No one gets to the Father except through me”, which I have been taught means if you don’t believe God is the Father and Jesus is His Son, you don’t/won’t go to heaven.

My question is: does this mean that three quarters of the world’s population (non-christians, Jews, Mormons, the Dalai Lama, etc.) who don’t believe that Jesus is the Son of God aren’t going to heaven?  It doesn’t seem to me that the God I believe in would let this happen.

Sincerely,
Sympathy For The Masses

Dear Sympathy For The Masses,

The verse you are referring to is Jhn 14:6.  Here is a great example of a fork in the road for christians.  Will we take the Bible at face value and accept what God says, or will we ignore certain verses in order to mold God into an image that is more suitable for us?  You are absolutely right; there is no mistaking the implications of Jhn 14:6.  All that do not follow Christ will not be saved.  In fact, there are other verses that re-emphasize this message.  Jesus said that the way to salvation was narrow, and the way to destruction was wide (Matt 7:13).  He also says that many people will erroneously claim to have served God and will be turned away on the Judgment Day (Matt 7:22-23).

These verses do exclude large swaths of mankind from heaven.  However, if we believe the Bible to be God’s infallible Word (and we here at AYP do – read “Who Wrote The Bible” to see why we are so convinced), then we must accept that the same loving God who would send His own Son to die for our sins has a very good reason for being so picky about who goes to heaven.  Remember, God doesn’t condemn people to hell; it is our sinful choices that does that (Rom 6:23).  Jehovah offers us salvation through His Son, even though we deserve death (Jhn 3:16).