I see things; I think God is contacting me; He wants me to do something, but I don’t know what.  Please, please answer this and tell me what to do!

Sincerely,
Motivated

Dear Motivated,

What you need to do is go to church.  The days of dreams and visions have passed.  In the past, God spoke to various people through dreams, visions, and prophecy, but today, He speaks to us through His Son, Jesus Christ (Heb 1:1-2).  Now that we have the complete and perfect Bible there is no need for God to give people individual dreams or visions (1 Cor 13:9-10).  It is through the Word of God that we learn how to live faithfully (Rom 10:17).

We are sure that the things you are seeing mean something, but they don’t mean anything supernatural or prophetic.  Our guess is that you have a great deal of internal struggle in your life, and this is affecting your vision, your mind, and everything else.  The fact that you are writing into this site tells us that you are trying to put the pieces together and get help.  One of the things that we do here at AskYourPreacher is try to connect people with a desire for answers (such as yourself) with congregations near them that can help them find long-term relief.  If you would like us to do that, just e-mail us back at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we will happily help in whatever way we can.

I am a minister that has been called to minister for about six years.  Though I have been called, I have not always followed; I have recently accepted the position of youth pastor.  I am expected to teach on purity and abstinence before marriage; how can I teach something that I myself did not preserve?

Sincerely,
Feeling Hypocritical

Dear Feeling Hypocritical,

If it is impossible to teach on something unless you have done it right yourself, nobody could say anything about morality because all have sinned (Rom 3:23).  Paul preached on peace after killing Christians (Rom 12:18), and Peter preached on boldness after denying Christ (1 Pet 5:15-16).  The truth is the truth regardless of how well we have personally followed it.
On a separate, but related note: a minister is different from a pastor – which one are you?  If someone is going to be a pastor, he must meet the qualifications found in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  Another thing to consider is that the Bible never talks about ‘youth pastors’ and ‘senior pastors’.  We would encourage you to read “Senior Citizen Pastor” because it sounds like you are caught up in a religious movement that doesn’t take God’s pattern for the church seriously, and if we don’t take God seriously, it doesn’t matter how much we clean up our lives.

I wanted to know if when you read I Timothy on the qualifications for a bishop, you read “…must be the husband of one wife” as excluding women from the office of a bishop.  I always understood that particular verse to address having more than one wife since Israel had practiced that in their history.  Also, the Scripture in I Corinthians as pertaining to women teaching was based on the Corinthian church at that time, etc.  I would love to hear your expanded thoughts on this.

Sincerely,
Ladies’ Lib

Dear Ladies’ Lib,

Pastors (Eph 4:11) – also known as elders or bishops (Tit 1:5-7) – are always men.  The qualifications for pastors are given in 1 Tim 3:1-7 and Tit 1:5-9.  As you said, one of those qualifications is that he must be “a husband of one wife” (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6) – that clearly rules out females from becoming bishops.  People have tried to say that these verses are just cultural or that they only pertained to those particular churches, but there is nothing in the Bible that says that.  If we just take the Bible for what it says – elders must be men.

Everyone agrees that women can be servants in the church – the question isn’t whether women can serve; it is how they can serve.  Phoebe was a servant of the church (Rom 16:1) and was praised for her service.  Priscilla was also commended for her labor on behalf of the church (Rom 16:3).  The Bible clearly shows women working in the church and in a very positive way.  Women are seen serving in many capacities in the church, but they are never seen in positions of authority.  Women are forbidden from having authority over men in the church… they are also forbidden from publicly teaching men (1 Tim 2:12).  Women cannot be preachers or have positions within the church that allow them to have dominion (the word ‘dominion’ means ‘to have authority over’).  Women are encouraged to teach other women (Tit 2:3-5) but to take a less authoritative role than men within the church and family.  Paul explains the reason for this structure in 1 Tim 2:13.  Adam was created first, and Eve was created as his helper.   In both the family (Col 3:18-19) and the church (1 Cor 14:34), this principle is carried out.  Eve was no less valuable than Adam, but she was designed for a different role.

     My wife and I are members of a church of Christ, the kind that has a fellowship hall, youth minister (and stuff like that), but no instrumental music (or anything like that).  My point is, my wife and I have become a little uncomfortable with this zeal and not being able to find the authority for these things.  We went to a very conservative type of church of Christ, like your congregation (from what I gather from y’all’s answers). There is more to it than that but, my question is: what can we expect with a change from a “liberal” type of church of Christ to a “conservative” church of Christ?

Sincerely,
Motivated To Move

Dear Motivated To Move,

Oftentimes, the worship service at liberal congregations doesn’t seem all that different from the worship service at conservative ones, but the principles behind why they each do what they do is vastly different.

The fundamental difference between the more conservative congregations and the more liberal ones is how closely they adhere to the Bible pattern.  In a conservative congregation, you will see the focus of the church being upon preaching the truth to the lost, teaching the saved, and carrying for needy saints – that’s it.  A conservative congregation believes that the church is sufficient to do God’s work, and they shouldn’t delegate that work out to another organization like a missionary society.  Conservative congregations support preachers directly, and they send funds directly to care for other needy christians… just like the Bible pattern.  This is why conservative congregations are sometimes referred to as ‘non-institutional’.  They don’t believe any other institution should take the place of the church – not a missionary society, not a federation of congregations pooling their funds, not a group of preachers controlling the direction of multiple churches.

The other thing that you will see is that a conservative congregation believes that there is a difference between individual responsibilities and congregational responsibilities.  Individuals have the responsibility to spend time together and socialize with other christians.  Individuals have the responsibility to do good to all mankind and be involved in their community as helpers of the poor and friends to strangers (Gal 6:10).  The church has the responsibility to be the pillar and ground of the truth (1 Tim 3:15).  You won’t see the church using its resources (including its building) for purely social activities such as potlucks – it is our responsibility as individuals to show hospitality (Heb 13:2).  You also won’t see the church getting caught up in secular charity activities like food pantries for the poor or community activism – it is our responsibility as individuals to effect change in our communities and help our neighbors. When we blur the lines between what the church should be doing and what individual christians should be doing, we get into all sorts of trouble.  Conservative congregations do their best to keep those lines as distinct as the Bible does.

In short, a conservative congregation will always show you Bible authority for what it does.  We speak where the Bible speaks and are silent where the Bible is silent (Rev 22:18-19).

    I have been a minister (ordained in the Baptist faith) now for nearly twenty-seven years.  My wife left me after twenty-eight years of marriage, and I’m currently still the pastor.  However, I need a helpmate.  I want to date, but all women are scared of dating a preacher.  I understand that, too.  I don’t want to cause a “black eye” on the church, so here is my question:

I’m fifty-one and alone… if I start dating women, should I quit preaching?  Not quit serving God, NO!  Quit preaching.  I think that would look best on God and His church… not a denomination, but the church of all believers of the Son of God.  Please give your honest opinion.  Again, thanks for your honestly.

Sincerely,
Single Baptist

Dear Single Baptist,

You say that you don’t believe in denominationalism, but you are preaching for a denomination.  You’ve been through a lot, and we cannot imagine the pain you must feel having your wife leave you – tragedies like your divorce are a time to evaluate quite a few things in life.  What if we told you that the Lord’s church does exist without denominationalism?  What if we told you there are groups of people that do just what the Bible says without denominational ordainings, traditions, and hierarchies?  After twenty-seven years of preaching for a denomination, would you be willing to consider that the Lord’s church isn’t part of that world?  In the Lord’s church, preachers are just men (Acts 14:15) and are treated like all other christians – even when it comes to dating.  There is another way; we urge you to read the article “Down With Denominationalism“, and if you are interested, we would be happy to study these issues out with you.

     We went to a church that believed if you were married more than once you couldn’t be a deacon or preacher. This is because the Bible says you can only be the husband of one wife.  Is this a correct interpretation?

Sincerely,
Counting Criteria

Dear Counting Criteria,

The qualification you are referring to can be found in 1 Tim 3:12.  The phrase ‘husband of one wife’ literally means a ‘one-woman man’ in the Greek. He must be devoted exclusively and faithfully to his one wife. A man who is widowed and then remarried could still be properly described as a ‘one-woman man’ because he was completely devoted to his first wife until her death, and now is fully devoted to his current wife.

The question a congregation has to wrestle with is if a divorced brother has shown the character trait of monogamous fidelity. Why did he get divorced? Was it for infidelity? Was he always faithful to her? Did she leave him, or did he leave her? How does he behave with his current wife? How long has he been married to his current wife? The answers to these questions will help assess whether he is a faithful ‘one-woman man’.

Divorce is a red flag that should make us pause before appointing a man as a qualified deacon, but depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, the man may still be qualified.