I pray everyday and sometimes feel like I’m sayings the same things, asking for the same things, giving thanks for the same things.  It seems all so repetitive even though I pray from my heart.  I wonder if God thinks the same thing sometimes, and it kind of weighs heavy on my heart.  Can you help me with this?  I can’t imagine not talking to Him everyday just because I worry that I’m being repetitive.

Sincerely,
It’s Me Again

Dear It’s Me Again,

Feel free to pray for the same thing as often as you’d like, but avoid lengthy speeches just for the sake of repetition.  If by repetition, you mean that you are saying the same things over and over in hopes that God will listen because you use a lot of words… that is wrong (Matt 6:7).

But if you are praying meaningfully for the same things consistently, that isn’t wrong at all.  Jesus gives the example of the widow and the unrighteous judge as the standard for repetition in prayer.  In Lk 18:1-7, we are told to always pray and never grow weary in it.  Samuel said that he would never cease to pray for the good will of Israel (1 Sam 12:23).  Jesus says to pray constantly for our daily bread (Lk 11:3).  Both of these are examples of repetitive prayer.  Lk 11:5-8 explains that prayer is like constantly knocking at a door until the homeowner gets up to answer.  As long as we preface our wishes with a willingness to submit to God’s will (1 Jn 5:14-15) – we should keep on praying.

     I’m trying to learn to communicate with God.  I know we speak to Him through prayer… so does He speak back to us through the Bible?  When I ask for God’s perfect will on a subject, and I ask Him for confirmation in the Bible, and I open it and read on what He says, is the word that I read a promise?  Thank you for explaining, and God bless!

Sincerely,
Looking For Direction

Dear Looking For Direction,

God speaks to us through His Word.  If we want to know God’s desire for our life, we must use the Bible to get our instructions.  Faith comes from the Word (Rom 10:17), and the Bible contains all the information we need for life and godliness (2 Pet 1:3).  If we want to understand what God wants for us, we can find the truth in the sum of His Word (Ps 119:160).  It isn’t as simple as just opening the Bible and putting your finger on a page and looking for a sign; the Bible takes study and effort.
God doesn’t answer our prayers by directly speaking to us, but His Word says that we should pray without doubting (1 Tim 2:8) and that we should ask in faith (Jas 1:6). God says there are very few things that will cause Him to ignore our prayers.  Read “Whose Prayers Count?” for the list of things that will make God turn His back on your prayers.  God never gets tired of hearing from His children.  Christians are to constantly seek Him in prayer.  The most direct example of this is Christ’s parable of the unjust judge in Lk 18:1-5.  Christ taught that parable, so “men ought always to pray and not to grow weary”.  God wants to hear from His people.  So don’t stop asking for help; He is listening.

Can I pray for the devil’s death?

Sincerely,
Grim

Dear Grim,

We should pray for things until God gives us a clear and definitive answer.  Before we stop to pray for something, we must always stop to read what God has to say first (Eccl 5:1).  After all, no matter what we want, God’s will should come first (Matt 6:10).

In the case of the devil, God says that He has already reserved a place for him and his angels (2 Pet 2:4).  God has already decided that the devil will be cast forever into the lake of fire (Rev 20:10).  However, God has also decided that He will be patient and wait for just the right time to judge the devil, his angels, and all mankind (2 Pet 3:9-10).

      Can God hear me even when I’m not praying?

Sincerely,
Cone Of Silence

Dear Cone Of Silence,

Jer 17:10 and Rom 8:27 say that God searches our minds and hearts.  God knows what you are thinking.  However, God still tells us that He wants us to pray to Him (1 Thess 5:17).  Just like a parent may know what their children want before they ask, they still want to hear them articulate themselves.  God knows our minds but wants us to take the time to ask of Him and express our thanks (Col 4:2).

     Is there a way to ask God a question and get an answer?

Sincerely,
Quizzical

Dear Quizzical,

God doesn’t answer us by directly speaking to us.  God speaks to us through His Word (Rom 10:17) and His Word says that we should pray without doubting (1 Tim 2:8) and that we should ask in faith (Jas 1:6). God says there are very few things that will cause Him to ignore our prayers.  Read “Whose Prayers Count?” for the list of things that will make God turn His back on your prayers.

God answers our prayers according to His will, not ours – in fact, we should pray that the Lord’s will be done (Jas 4:15).  Having said that, it is perfectly appropriate to keeping praying until the answer is clear – God is pleased with the consistently prayerful (1 Thess 5:17).  He wants you to ask over and over – until He gives you an answer.  David prayed vehemently for the life of his child until the child died (2 Sam 12:22-23).  Paul prayed for his sickness to be removed three times until God told him to accept the pain (2 Cor 12:8-9).  Cornelius’ prayers were constantly before the Lord until Peter was sent (Acts 10:4-5).  Even our Lord prayed in the garden repeatedly that He might not have to die on the cross (Matt 26:39).  The key in all these circumstances was that the requests ceased when God answered. Once God made His decision apparent, whether it was yes or no, acceptance began.

God never gets tired of hearing from His children.  Christians are to constantly seek Him in prayer.  The most direct example of this is Christ’s parable of the unjust judge in Lk 18:1-5.  Christ taught that parable so that “men ought always to pray, and not to grow weary”.  God wants to hear from His people.  So don’t stop asking for help; He is listening.

     I am happy to write to you.  I am wanting to know how you conduct your worship on Sundays.

God bless you.

Sincerely,
Looking For Order

Dear Looking For Order,

The Bible gives us examples and commands for five different elements to the public worship.

1. Teaching/Preaching (1 Cor 4:17)
2. Singing (Eph 5:19)
3. Prayer (Acts 12:5)
4. Taking A Collection – Sunday only (1 Cor 16:1-2)
5. Lord’s Supper – Sunday only (Acts 20:7)

Of these five elements, two of them are specifically allowed only on Sundays.  The others can be done any time the brethren get together.  The congregation here in Monroe, WA is a simple New Testament congregation, and our worship is just what you find in the Bible.

     Is it okay to be mad at God when He doesn’t answer a prayer?  My whole family was praying I wouldn’t lose my job; then I did.  How could God let that happen when the Bible tells us to ask in Jesus’ name, and we will receive?

Sincerely,
Let Down

Dear Let Down,

It isn’t okay to be mad at God, but it is okay to be upset.  We would caution you in saying that God has turned a deaf ear to you.  God does answer prayers, but He also tells us that what we ask for won’t be granted if it isn’t within His will (Jas 4:15).  God knows what you are going through – and there is a reason.  When Joseph was thrown into prison, he ended up being the king’s right-hand man (Gen 39:20).  When Moses was exiled to the desert for forty years, he ended up being the savior of all Israel (Acts 7:29-30).  Even Jesus proves that suffering can lead to victory; His death on the cross led to the forgiveness of sins (Heb 12:2).

Life here on this planet is full of heartaches, and we here at AYP cannot imagine how hard this last year has been for you.  The last several years have been very difficult for many, many people.  Just don’t forget that adversity can lead to victory.  No battle is won without bloodshed, and no bridge is built without sweat.  God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28).

     I was married for twenty years, and we separated due to another female in church; I prayed that our marriage would not end and we would reconcile.  But that didn’t happen; we were divorced, and he remarried after two weeks.  Can you tell me why my prayers were not answered?  And why they committed adultery, lied, and even stole from the church but still think that what they did was not wrong? Thank you.

Sincerely,
Devastated

Dear Devastated,

God desires for all of us to purify our hearts and minds and turn from sin, but He also gives us the freedom to choose for ourselves.  God has multiple principles that He must keep in balance at all times.  God hears prayers, but He also allows people to decide for themselves whether or not to be righteous or wicked.  If God simply forced people to become better people, that would remove our freedom of choice.  After all, He tells us that we reap what we sow in this life (Gal 6:7).

We cannot imagine the amount of pain you have been through.  It isn’t that God doesn’t hear prayers; it is that your husband chose to do something sinful.  God doesn’t like it (Mal 2:16), but as we said, God still respects our freewill.  As for how these two people can believe that what they did was okay… sadly, when we choose to do wicked things, it can sear our conscience (1 Tim 4:2), and people rationalize all sorts of sinful behavior because they “feel” it is right.  Every man believes he is right in his own eyes, but in the end, the Lord makes a just judgment (Pr 21:2).

I have two children who are into meth.  I have been praying for them along with other family members.  I don’t understand why these prayers are not being answered.  Is there a certain way I need to pray or ask?  I’m new to this, and think I’m not asking in the right way.

I also feel like Satan is starting to attack my family and me for praying. Does this happen?  I have no peace, and I’m afraid to go to sleep because of nightmares… but those could be from all the stress I have in my life.

If you can suggest any books to help me become stronger in my faith and learn to pray, I would greatly appreciate it; I’m too embarrassed to ask. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Mom Who’s Trying

Dear Mom Who’s Trying,

God desires to answer our prayers, and He says that a righteous christian’s prayers do make a difference (Pr 15:29, Jas 5:16).  However, when we pray about things, it isn’t as simple as we just get what we are asking for because God has multiple principles that He must keep in balance at all times.

If God simply forced people to become better people because you prayed for them, that would remove our freedom of choice.  After all, He tells us that we reap what we sow in this life (Gal 6:7).  We make certain choices that get us addicted to sin… we must make choices (often painful – like disclosing the sin) to remove the addiction.  The fact that you are praying for your children is wonderful, but they are responsible for their own decisions, and God won’t force them to change if that isn’t what they want.

As far as books we would recommend, the best thing you can do is read your Bible – especially the Psalms – to get you through this time of grief.  The Psalms are songs and prayers written by faithful people who sometimes suffered greatly.  That is our number one recommendation to someone in your situation – read the Psalms.  Otherwise, if you need help finding a congregation, we would be happy to help you find one.

     Is it wrong to pray for someone who is dead?  I was told the Bible says it is wrong, and I don’t remember reading that.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Morbid Curiosity

Dear Morbid Curiosity,

1 Jn 5:16 is probably the verse you are thinking of, but that doesn’t really deal with dead people; it pertains to people who are purposefully turning their backs on the Lord.  We are told not to request that God forgive people who aren’t seeking to live faithfully.

Having said that, your question deals with people that are already dead, and that is an entirely different issue.  Heb 9:27 says that people die and then face the judgment.  There is no room for someone’s fate to be changed once they die.  If your goal through prayer is to make it so someone who already died can go to heaven instead of hell, that won’t work.

     Does God hear or answer an unsaved person’s prayer?   I am saved but have been wanting some Scripture to answer my question.

Sincerely,
Is He Listening?

Dear Is He Listening,

God recognizes the prayers of the faithful only. There is no doubt that God hears the prayers of christians (Jas 5:16). God hears the prayers of the righteous, but He is far from the wicked (Pr 15:29). God is constantly listening to hear the prayers of christians, but He sets His face against those who do evil. God says that even a christian who isn’t treating others well (specifically their spouse) will have their prayers hindered (1 Pet 3:7).

God does not answer the prayers of those who are ungodly. When Israel turned away from God, He stopped answering their prayers (Micah 3:4). When Judah became wicked and followed false teachings, He stopped hearing their prayers and accepting their worship (Isa 1:13-15). The same would hold true for those who fall away today. God will stop listening to and answering their prayers. It isn’t that He doesn’t hear them – He simply ignores their requests. Those outside of Christ are promised that if they seek God, they will find Him (Lk 11:9). All of mankind has the ability to ask for truth and find it, but only christians can ask God as a child asks a father (Mat 7:11). The ability to seek God’s help through prayer is a blessing given only to those who serve God (Jhn 9:31).

     Being in church, we (or at least I) have always been told I don’t deserve anything and that only God’s grace keeps me up every day.  I have been reminded of this several times and try to utilize it to make me humble.  I’ll try to be brief and as candid as possible but… how am I to pray if I am so undeserving?

Yes, I know Jesus reached out to sinners more than anyone else, but what do we sinners pray about?  Am I deserving enough to everyday pray for others’ help?  Is it vanity that makes me pray to better myself everyday?  Let’s say I have the blackest soul alive; what do I actually deserve to do?  What am I allowed to pray for?  Would working out and wearing makeup hurt God as vanity?  Would determination to do my very best at work and school (fully aware that I’m doing it to get a good job financially) hurt God as greed?  Would never cursing out loud once in my life and acting the caring person when I have had inner monologues of foul language and can’t seem to ever help judging every single person I meet and know every day hurt God as hypocrisy?

Basically, if I know I don’t deserve the life I live and shouldn’t deserve it, how can I live it?

Sincerely,
Unworthy

Dear Unworthy,

It is true that we have all sinned and don’t deserve to go to heaven (Rom 3:23), but what you are talking about is more than just being undeserving; you are saying that everyone is totally depraved, and even when we do good things, it is all just a sham.  The idea that we are all deeply and totally depraved and don’t have a single shred of goodness in us is not from the Bible; it is a teaching called ‘Calvinism’.  Calvinism teaches that you are born sinful and always are sinful and that nothing you can do is ever good enough – this is not true.  After all, God made us in His image… that is a good thing!  Sin is something that you do, not something that you are.  Sin does separate us from God, and Christ’s blood is a gift that gives us a chance to be reunited with the Father.  We could never earn what Christ has given us, but that doesn’t mean that in your heart of hearts, you are a bad person.  Christ specifically came to save those people that wished to be good but still made bad choices.  Paul dealt with this inner struggle that faithful people have as they fight the battle against the flesh in Rom 7:22-25.  People aren’t born inherently bad at the core – we choose to want evil or to want good.  Calvinism is wrong, and we recommend you read the article “Calvin And Sobs” for a complete breakdown of this false teaching that has befuddled quite a lot of good people.

Does prayer really work???  I pray for situations to change in my life, and they don’t.  I do the best I can to try to get ahead, but it seems like more frustrating things end up in my path.  Furthermore, it seems as a slap in the face to my faith.  I watch those around me who barely believe in God live fulfilling lives.  What does God want me to do?

Sincerely,
Up In Arms

Dear Up In Arms,

Prayers do work, but God still has veto power.  We are told to pray that “if the Lord wills, we will do this or that” (Jas 4:15).  Jesus taught His disciples to pray for the Lord’s will to be done (Matt 6:10).  Part of prayer is that we need to learn to trust that God knows what He is doing.  We are entreating the Creator of the Universe with our problems, and just like any loving father, our Heavenly Father sometimes says, “No” to our requests.  As every parent knows, children sometimes ask for things that aren’t in their best interest, or they ask things unaware of the bigger picture.  God wants to give us good gifts (Matt 7:11)… sometimes that means that He answers our prayers by giving us something different than what we expected.

Now, let’s talk about those prosperous unbelievers that you are seeing.  Your frustration is valid, and David had the same frustration.  In Psalm 73, David talked about his animosity toward the success of the ungodly… he said it made him so mad that he almost fell away from God (Ps 73:2).  However, David finally concluded that the ungodly were not blessed because their entire existence was slippery and dependent upon their physical prosperity (Ps 73:18).  Only God’s people have an eternal hope that gives us comfort regardless of how life goes here (Ps 73:27-28).

I am feeling very sick right now, and I have a question: why do I still feel the same though I have already prayed?

Sincerely,
Ill At Ease

Dear Ill At Ease,

There are two reasons that God might not have answered your prayers yet.  The first reason is that He is ignoring your prayers because you aren’t a christian, or you aren’t living faithfully.  Read “Whose Prayers Count?” for the list of things that will make God turn His back on your prayers.

The other reason is that God’s timing is different than yours.  God answers our prayers according to His will, not ours – in fact, we should pray that the Lord’s will be done (Jas 4:15).  Having said that, it is perfectly appropriate to keeping praying until the answer is clear – God is pleased with the consistently prayerful (1 Thess 5:17).  He wants you to ask over and over – until He gives you an answer.  David prayed vehemently for the life of his child until the child died (2 Sam 12:22-23).  Paul prayed for his sickness to be removed three times until God told him to accept the pain (2 Cor 12:8-9).  Cornelius’ prayers were constantly before the Lord until Peter was sent (Acts 10:4-5).  Even our Lord prayed in the garden repeatedly that He might not have to die on the cross (Matt 26:39).  The key in all these circumstances was that the requests ceased when God answered. Once God made His decision apparent, whether it was yes or no, acceptance began.

God never gets tired of hearing from His children.  Christians are to constantly seek Him in prayer.  The most direct example of this is Christ’s parable of the unjust judge in Lk 18:1-5.  Christ taught that parable so that “men ought always to pray, and not to grow weary”.  God wants to hear from His people.  So don’t stop asking for help; He is listening.  We are so sorry for your illness, and we will pray for you as well.

I know that we pray to God, but I have a problem when people say we cannot talk to Christ.  Did Stephen not talk to Christ as he was being stoned?  Did Paul not beseech the Lord three times?  Are Christ and God not one?  Is Christ not our Advocate and Mediator?  What’s your take on talking to Jesus?

Sincerely,
Deep In Conversation

Dear Deep In Conversation,

The example of Stephen is clearly a case of someone talking to Jesus, but you must remember that Stephen was looking at Jesus at the time (Acts 7:55-56)… this isn’t your average prayer – if Jesus was standing in front of you, you wouldn’t call it prayer, and that is exactly what happened to Stephen.  Also, the example of Paul in 2 Cor 12:8 isn’t a good proof text because it could be referring to Jesus or the Father – both are referred to as ‘Lord’ in the Bible.  This is an issue that brethren have mixed reviews on.  Personally, we don’t feel comfortable condemning someone for praying to Jesus, but at the same time, the example we see throughout the Scriptures is that of praying to the Father… especially since that is the way Jesus taught us to pray (Lk 11:1-4).  Jesus specifically said there would come a time when we wouldn’t ask Him anything, but we would pray to His Father and the Father would answer our prayers that are prayed in Jesus’ name (Jhn 16:23).  The problem with praying to Jesus is that we simply don’t have any examples of it in the whole New Testament.

I’ve found if I pray in bed that I always fall asleep mid-prayer, so much so that I can use prayer to relax myself to sleep if I’m having trouble drifting off.  My question is this; is it disrespectful to God to use prayer to fall asleep, or is having God be the last thought of my day better than anything else I could be thinking about to distract myself to sleep?

Sincerely,
Talking In My Sleep

Dear Talking In My Sleep,

This is one of those questions that is left up to each person’s individual wisdom and conscience.  You have already vocalized both arguments.  On one side, it could be viewed as disrespectful that you are always falling asleep mid-conversation with the Lord… after all, it is no different than if you were talking to a person late at night.  If anything, it is even more important that you show proper respect and reverence because He is more than a person – He is our Lord and Master (Heb 12:28).

On the other hand, an equally valid argument could be made that you fall asleep because of the closeness of the relationship and the peace that comes from being near your Father.  After all, we are told that prayer and joy are closely knit together (Ps 1:5-7), and we are also told that prayer helps to alleviate suffering (Jas 5:13).

In short, you must examine yourself and decide which category your behavior fits into.

What happens if God does not give us an answer to our prayers?  What if we don’t hear from Him in a while?  Is He ignoring us?

Sincerely,
Unheard

Dear Unheard,

There are two reasons that God might not have answered your prayers yet.  The first reason is that He is ignoring your prayers because you aren’t a christian or you aren’t living faithfully.  Read “Whose Prayers Count?” for the list of things that will make God turn His back on your prayers.  Anecdotally, it is also important to remember that God doesn’t answer prayers by speaking directly to us – read “The Sound In The Silence” for details.

The other reason is that God’s timing is different than yours.  God answers our prayers according to His will, not ours – in fact, we should pray that the Lord’s will be done (Jas 4:15).  Having said that, it is perfectly appropriate to keeping praying until the answer is clear – God is pleased with the consistently prayerful (1 Thess 5:17).  He wants you to ask over and over – until He gives you an answer.  David prayed vehemently for the life of his child until the child died (2 Sam 12:22-23).  Paul prayed for his sickness to be removed three times until God told him to accept the pain (2 Cor 12:8-9).  Cornelius’ prayers were constantly before the Lord until Peter was sent (Acts 10:4-5).  Even our Lord prayed in the garden repeatedly that He might not have to die on the cross (Matt 26:39).  The key in all these circumstances was that the requests ceased when God answered. Once God made His decision apparent, whether it was yes or no, acceptance began.

God never gets tired of hearing from His children.  Christians are to constantly seek Him in prayer.  The most direct example of this is Christ’s parable of the unjust judge in Lk 18:1-5.  Christ taught that parable so that “men ought always to pray, and not to grow weary”.  God wants to hear from His people.  So don’t stop asking for help; He is listening.

Is it true that no matter what we do, as long as we have said the Sinner’s Prayer, we will go to heaven because of what Jesus did for us?

Sincerely,
Praying It’s True

Dear Praying It’s True,

The sinner’s prayer is not how people become saved.  If we want to know what it takes to be saved, we should see what people in the Bible did to become saved.  The Bible outlines five separate requirements for salvation, and all of them are necessary.

1. Hear the Word. Faith comes through hearing, and hearing comes through the Word of God (Rom 10:17). Until someone hears God’s Word, they are incapable of obeying it.
2. Believe the Word. It is impossible for someone to become a christian unless they believe that Jesus is the Savior and Son of God (Jhn 20:31, Acts 16:31, Jhn 3:16).
3. Repent of your sins. ‘Repent’ means to ‘change your mind’. That change of mind always involves a change of action as well. Repentance is when we change our mind about what is important and submit ourselves to Jesus and His Word. Repentance is a necessity of salvation (Mk 6:12, Lk 13:5, Lk 15:7).
4. Confess Jesus to others. If we have sworn our allegiance to Jesus, we must be prepared to publicly confess Him as our Lord. If we won’t confess Jesus before men, He won’t confess us before God (Matt 10:32-33, Lk 12:8-9).
5. Be baptized in the name of Jesus for salvation. Many groups baptize people, but very few baptize people for the right reasons. Baptism isn’t merely an “outward showing of an inward faith” or “for membership”. Baptism is what saves us (1 Pet 3:21). Baptism is the point where someone goes from being lost to saved because they are buried and resurrected with Christ (Rom 6:4-5). Baptism is the final requirement to become a christian (Acts 2:37-38, Mk 16:16, Acts 2:41). There is not a single example of someone becoming a christian without baptism. Baptism is just as necessary as the other four requirements.

If we want to have total confidence that we are saved, we must do everything the Bible says to receive salvation (Ps 119:160).  Prayer is a wonderful thing to do, but it isn’t a part of the conversion process.

When praying, I find myself quite frequently praying “in my mind” instead of praying out loud.  Is God displeased with this?  I mean, I’m not embarrassed or ashamed to do it out loud, but it just comes naturally to me, and it seems like I can explain myself better to Him.  It’s like I get “stuck” on my words when I pray out loud for some reason!

Sincerely,
Silent

Dear Silent,

God never emphasizes silent prayer above vocal prayer or vice-versa.  We have examples of both in the Bible.  Nehemiah prayed silently before the king, and his prayer was answered (Neh 2:4).  Hannah also prayed silently, but with fervor, and her prayer was answered (1 Sam. 1:13).  On the other hand, righteous Stephen prayed with a loud voice (Acts 7:60).  There is no specific instruction given by God in regard to volume.

How do you confess to God?  Do you have to confess in church, or can you do it in the comfort of your house?  What if you are not Catholic?  Will He still forgive you?

Sincerely,
Where’s The Priest?

Dear Where’s The Priest,

The Bible teaches that we should confess our sins to God through prayer, and we should ask for forgiveness (1 Jn 1:9).  This is a simple process that can (and should) be done whenever we pray.  Jesus mentioned asking for forgiveness when He taught the disciples to pray (Lk 11:2-4).

The Catholic process of confession is very different from what you read in your Bible.  Catholicism teaches that many sins cannot be forgiven unless a priest hears your confession – this couldn’t be farther from the Bible truth.  Catholicism long ago departed from the Bible; the Catholic religion is based upon manmade teachings and traditions that have gone beyond what God wrote (1 Cor 4:6, Rev 22:18-19).

How much time should one pray, and if one doesn’t pray, can they still work in the gifts?

Sincerely,
Off The Clock

Dear Off The Clock,

We are never given a specific amount of time that we have to pray each day; we are simply told to “pray without ceasing” (1 Thess 5:17).  Prayer should be a normal, consistent, and regular part of your life.  Just like we make sure to stay in contact with our family and friends, we should make sure to stay in constant contact with our Father in heaven.  As the old adage goes, “Seven days without prayer makes one weak”.  Prayer is not only a command; it is a blessing from God.  It is a gift from our Father that He hears and answers our requests (Jas 1:5).

As far as the “gifts” that you mentioned, we are pretty sure that you are referring to miraculous spiritual gifts.  Some churches erroneously teach that God still allows people to speak in tongues, miraculously heal others, etc.  This isn’t true.  The spiritual gifts that the apostles and prophets had were for a limited time and for a specific purpose.  Read “Gifts That Stop Giving” for more details on the cessation of miracles.

I need some advice, please.  In our congregation, we begin midweek Bible class by taking prayer requests; after which, a prayer is offered by one of the men.  I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable with some of the prayers that are being requested and offered.  Some of the members request prayers for family and friends who are unbelievers and experiencing issues such as surgeries, pregnancy complications, injuries, illness, financial difficulties, etc.  One member has asked several times that her mom, who has shown no interest whatsoever in coming to church, might find a job and for her sister whose baby was born premature to be able to deal with the stress and worry.  However, this is the second baby her sister has born out of wedlock with two different men.  She frequents the local bars and continues live with her boyfriend who fathered this most recent baby.  My question is: should we be offering prayers for unbelievers other than that they repent and turn from their sins?  I am really uncomfortable about the prayers being offered that ask God to heal, comfort, and “be with” these family members and friends who continue to live in sin.  Praying for the health of a baby or child is one thing, but praying for grown adults who give no indication they are interested in repenting and getting the sin out of their life…?  Privately, I pray that the trials these people are having will cause them to draw closer to God and change their lives.  But how do I handle this situation where public prayer is being offered?  Do I pray – or pretend to pray – with the group when I feel like we are praying for something displeasing to God?  As a single woman, I don’t know how to go about expressing my concerns without coming off as being critical or unsubmissive to the men’s leadership.  One complication is that several of the members requesting these prayers are young adults and recent converts.  However, some, including the men offering prayers, have been in the church for years and appear to be okay with it all.  Am I way off base, and if I’m not, how do I handle this?  Please help.

Sincerely,
Keeping My Head Down

Dear Keeping My Head Down,

Your concerns are valid, and praying for unbelievers is also valid.  The verses that will answer your concerns are 1 Tim 2:1-4.  Those four verses lay out God’s attitude toward praying for unbelievers.  First and foremost, we are told to pray for all men (1 Tim 2:1).  That is a very clear verse on the subject.  It is appropriate, necessary, and godly to pray for all human beings.  1 Tim 2:2 says that we are even to pray for politicians!  It may be a little tongue-in-cheek to say, but most folks don’t think much of the lifestyles and attitudes of politicians, and yet, we are told to pray for their well-being and success.  God is so adamant that prayers ought to be offered on behalf of all men that 1 Tim 2:3 specifically says, “This is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior”.  So take comfort, praying for unbelievers is the right thing to do, and you can comfortably join in the congregational prayers offered on their behalf.

Now, we also said that your concerns are valid – that is where 1 Tim 2:4 comes in.  1 Tim 2:4 points out that the ultimate goal is to save souls.  If everyone is blessed with creature comforts, but their souls are lost in the end – it was a waste (Matt 16:26).  Sometimes people need catastrophes to bring them closer to God, and sometimes people convert because they knew the church was praying for them, and that prayer was answered.  So how do we know who and what to pray for?!  One option is to only pray for the people that we feel are “worthy”… but that sure puts us in the position of being judge and jury, doesn’t it (Jas 4:10-12)?  The other option is to pray for all and always remember to have the attitude of “Lord willing”.  Jas 4:13-15 says that whatever we do, we should pray that the Lord’s will would come first.  It is good to pray for all people, but we should also always have the attitude that God’s will should supersede our own desires.  If at some point the congregation isn’t showing that attitude of humility in the congregational prayers, you will have a problem, but if we always remember that the goal is to save souls and the Lord knows best, it is a wonderful thing to pray for all men.

Will I be blessed with a kid soon?

Sincerely,
Potential Parent

Dear Potential Parent,

We can’t give you the answer to that question – only God knows.  What we can tell you is that other faithful people have faced the same desire to conceive and wondered just as you do when that special blessing would come.  One of the greatest examples of this is Hannah.  In 1 Samuel 1:4-8, we see how desperately Hannah wanted a child, but yet she waited.  Hannah’s solution?  She prayed fervently to God (1 Sam 1:9-10).  God heard her prayer and eventually gave her that wonderful child she had prayed for (1 Sam 1:20). The power of prayer is incredible.  We can’t tell you when you will be blessed with a child (after all, we aren’t prophets), but we can tell you that if you pray to the Lord, He is faithful and will cause all to work together for good (Rom 8:28).

Vain prayer?  How much prayer isn’t vain if we realize God knows what’s in our hearts?

Sincerely,
Brief Speaker

Dear Brief Speaker,

There are two major verses that deal with the amount we should pray.  Matt 6:7-8 deals with one extreme.  Jesus says to avoid “vain repetition” because your heavenly Father already knows what you need.  Prayers that are purposefully lengthy instead of heartfelt are useless.  The Catholic practice of ‘praying the rosary’ is a great example of vain repetition.  The same words reiterated by rote over and over again don’t become more effective – God heard you the first time.  When we say the same words over and over without any respect for the fact that we are bringing a real petition before the Creator, we are senseless babblers.

The other extreme is dealt with in Lk 18:1-8.  Lk 18:1 says that we should pray and never grow weary in prayer.  Jesus told a parable of a widow that petitioned a judge until he gave her an answer ­– and He praised the woman for her deliberate and persevering spirit.  God does want to hear from us, and He does want us to continue to bring our concerns to Him.  There is nothing wrong with repeating the same concerns and needs to God in a meaningful way on a regular basis.

In short, God desires thoughtful and regular prayer from His children on the issues that are pressing in their lives, not constant scripted chatter void of meaning and thought.

How do I know when my answer to prayer is “no” versus “not yet”?

This is a huge struggle for me, especially when the prayer has no time sensitivity.  How long do I continue praying on the subject matter?  Any insight you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,
RSVP

Dear RSVP,

Christ taught that we should feel free to pray for something until an obvious answer presents itself.  The key to understanding this topic is the parable of the unrighteous judge found in Lk 18:1-6.  Jesus told His disciples to pray to God like that widow begged the judge for assistance – beg until you get an answer.  God expects us to pray to Him constantly (1 Thess 5:17).  Many of our prayers have no obvious time sensitivity to them.  Think about the topics that we comfortably accept as lifetime prayers that never cease:

1. For our children’s health and well-being – that prayer will last a lifetime.
2. For our daily bread (Lk 11:3)
3. For our long-term health
4. For our leaders and national peace (1 Tim 2:1-2)

It is not a lack of faith to continue praying for something when the solution has yet to be revealed – it is an act of strong faith to continue to pray.

Who has the right to touch someone and pray for them today?  There have been some that say that if there is sin in your life, even though you have repented of it, that you can’t pray for someone who has asked for prayer.  They can’t come to an agreement with others for the forgiveness of a brother or sister.  What do you think?  I can’t find a particular Scripture to back this up.

Sincerely,
Hands To Myself

Dear Hands To Myself,

If you are a christian, you have a right and responsibility to pray for yourself and others (1 Tim 2:1-3).  The Bible says that a righteous person’s prayer makes a difference (Jas 5:16).  The Bible makes no distinction between one christian’s prayer and another’s.  If you are a faithful christian (read “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” to make sure you have followed God’s plan to receive salvation), then you have a right to approach God in prayer and expect to be heard (1 Jn 5:14-15).

However, if you are actively engaged in a sinful lifestyle and are not living faithfully – your prayers will be hindered by sinful living (1 Pet 3:7).  Iniquity separates us from God (Isa 59:1-2) and hinders our prayers from being effective.

Hi.  Hope you are having a wonderful day.  I have a question.  I know that if you sow financial seed, you can receive a harvest from God, but what I want to know is: can I also sow financial seed to receive a healing from God???

Sincerely,
Medical Costs?

Dear Medical Costs,

Whoever told you that you are guaranteed a financial harvest by giving to God is misinterpreting the meaning of 2 Cor 9:6.  The idea that we get financial gain by giving more to churches is a heretical teaching that very conveniently happens to sow financial prosperity for churches… regardless of what happens to the people they are preaching to.  This teaching is often referred to as “the prosperity gospel” and is wrong (read our article “Cash Cow” for further details on that false doctrine).  Suffice it to say, sometimes God blesses giving people with financial blessings, but other times, truly godly people suffer through great financial struggles.

We don’t know what physical ailment you wish to have healed, but more money in the contribution plate isn’t the answer, and if your church is telling you that it is – you need to find a new church!  We can help with that if you’d like (e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org).  God tells us to pray when we are sick and to have others pray for us as well (Jas 5:14).  Righteous prayers do more good than we can ever imagine (Pr 15:29, Jas 5:16).  Live faithfully and trust that God is in control (Ps 46:10).

I’m wondering whom I would go to, a priest or preacher, to pray about my new house that I am getting.

Sincerely,
Mr. Buyer

Dear Mr. Buyer,

If you are living a faithful life, you should do the praying.  If you aren’t living a faithful life… your house won’t matter one way or the other (Mk 8:36-37).  God says that He clearly hears the prayers of the righteous (Pr 15:29), and He says those prayers make a difference (Jas 5:16-18).  The term ‘priest’ is a Bible word that is often misused by many false churches.  There is no such thing as special priests in the church.  In Christ, all christians are priests (1 Pet 2:9).  There is no need to seek some special religious leader to receive the blessing of prayer to God.  If you aren’t a christian or if you need a faithful church to gather with – e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we would be happy to help you in whatever way possible.

Is it wrong for me to keep praying for the same thing I’ve already prayed for?

Sincerely,
Don’t Want To Be A Bother

Dear Don’t Want To Be A Bother,

Absolutely not.  Feel free to pray for the same thing as often as you’d like.  Jesus gives the example of the widow and the unrighteous judge as the standard for repetition in prayer.  In Lk 18:1-7, we are told to always pray and never grow weary in it.  Samuel said that he would never cease to pray for the good will of Israel (1 Sam 12:23).  Jesus says to pray constantly for our daily bread (Lk 11:3).  Both of these are examples of repetitive prayer.  Lk 11:5-8 explains that prayer is like constantly knocking at a door until the homeowner gets up to answer.  As long as we preface our wishes with a willingness to submit to God’s will (1 Jn 5:14-15) – we should keep on praying.

Our pastor told us that when the offering is taken up, you do not ask God to bless those who did not have anything to give when the person is praying over the offering.

Sincerely,
Blessingless

Dear Blessingless,

That is utter rubbish.  God tells us to pray for the sick (Jas 5:14), the poor (Ps 86:1), our enemies (Matt 5:44), etc.  God tells us to pray for all mankind (1 Tim 2:1).  Any religious leader that is telling people that those who don’t put money into the collection don’t deserve to be prayed for is attempting to shame people into giving money.  It is a horrible and reprehensible practice used by men who are greedy and covetous (1 Tim 6:10).  Don’t walk – RUN from any church that uses this sort of money-grubbing practice.

My mom is going through depression; she was just in a breakup with her boyfriend.  She wants a life, but she thinks by just praying, God will help her.  I told her He can if He wants, but God wants to see her do it on her own, and He’s not going to help her if she’s not going to do the footwork to get her life back.  Question is, was I wrong in telling her that? Because I need to get her back to being the mother and woman she was.

Sincerely,
Worried Child

Dear Worried Child,

God will bless your mother when she chooses to search after righteousness.  God says that He draws near to us when we draw near to Him (1 Jn 1:6-7).  Christ said that all who seek God should “ask, seek, and knock” if they want to receive God’s help (Matt 7:7).  God freely offers the gift of salvation to all mankind (Rom 6:23), but we have to want it and ask for it.  Jesus told all His disciples to take up their crosses and follow after Him (Matt 16:24).  We cannot live ungodly lives and expect God to bless us in those choices (Rom 6:1-2).  You are absolutely correct in telling your mother that God has expectations.

What is the correct way to pray?

Sincerely,
On Bended Knee

Dear On Bended Knee,

Jesus’ followers asked Him that very question (Lk 11:1).  His response was what is commonly referred to as “The Lord’s Prayer” (Lk 11:2-4).  We are not expected to match that prayer word-for-word, but it is a model off of which we can base all of our prayers.  The prayer started off with reverence for God (Heb 12:28) and humility of spirit (Dan 10:12).  Jesus’ prayer also included thanks for the things that God had given Him.  It is always good to make sure that our prayers include thanksgiving (Php 4:6).  After that, He prayed for His physical needs (like daily bread).  God wants us to ask Him for help in this life (Lk 18:1-7).  The model prayer also included a request for forgiveness of sins and a commitment to serve Him faithfully.  God tells us that He will forgive us if we ask (1 Jn 1:9).  Last, but not least, the prayer includes the words “Thy will be done”… everything we do and ask for must be subject to God’s will (Jas 4:13-15).  Those are the basic instructions that Christ gave on prayer.

What is the prayer a preacher says when someone is pronounced dead?

Sincerely,
Dying Breath

Dear Dying Breath,

You are probably thinking of the Catholic practice of Last Rites… which is not a Biblical practice, but a man-made hocus-pocus tradition.  The Catholic church teaches that someone who is dying should be given “last rites” which includes a prayer and the Eucharist (their twist on the Lord’s Supper) administered by a Catholic priest.  This practice cannot be found in the Scriptures.  The Bible doesn’t give an example of a prayer that needs to be said when someone is pronounced dead or near death… although, it would be entirely appropriate to pray at that time.  Mourning is one of the most important parts of the human experience because it reminds us of our own mortality (Eccl 7:2) and the importance of being prepared to face God (Heb 9:27).

Why do Catholics pray to Mary?  I have read articles that say they pray to her as an intercessor, but I cannot find anywhere in the Bible that says to do this.  How do they justify this Biblically?

Sincerely,
Who’s That Girl?

Dear Who’s That Girl,

Praying to or through Mary is wrong.  Technically speaking, Catholics are not taught to pray to Mary – but to ask Mary to intercede on their behalf before God.  Catholicism teaches that Mary (and other Catholic saints) have more “clout” with God than us, and therefore, Catholics are instructed to ask these Catholic-appointed saints to pray for them.  Having said all that, many Catholics are confused about their own doctrine and do, in fact, pray directly to Mary.  Either behavior is in direct contradiction to the Bible.

Jesus is the only Mediator between man and God (1 Tim 2:5).  We pray to the Father through Jesus… not through Mary or any other Catholic figure.  We are told to confidently approach God directly (Heb 4:16).  We should ask of God and pray to Him through the name of Jesus (Jhn 14:13-14).  Praying to (or through) Catholic saints is sinful.

I don’t believe in God no more.  I needed prayers answered, and God turned a deaf ear to me.  I have done prayer requests at my church for years, but 2009 was so bad, I lost everything, and all I wanted was a few prayers answered, and God said, “No”.  So I have quit my church and believe God and all preachers are fake.

Sincerely,
Budding Atheist

Dear Budding Atheist,

We have no easy answers for you; it is obvious that you are hurting very much.  We would caution you in saying that God has turned a deaf ear to you.  God knows what you are going through – and there is a reason.  When Joseph was thrown into prison, he ended up being the king’s right-hand man (Gen 39:20).  When Moses was exiled to the desert for forty years, he ended up being the savior of all Israel (Acts 7:29-30).  Even Jesus proves that suffering can lead to victory; His death on the cross led to the forgiveness of sins (Heb 12:2).

Life here on this planet is full of heartaches, and we here at AYP cannot imagine how hard this last year has been on you.  2009 was a very difficult year for many, many people.  Just don’t forget that adversity can lead to victory.  No battle is won without bloodshed, and no bridge is built without sweat.  God causes all things to work together for good for those who love Him (Rom 8:28).

To complicate issues further, you are right on at least one point… many preachers are fake.  False teachers are rampant (2 Pet 2:1-2), and it may be that where you have been going has been plying you with false teaching that would discourage anyone.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org, and we would be happy to help you find a congregation that faithfully teaches the truth.  It is through many tribulations that we must enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22).  We are so sorry for your suffering; don’t give up.

Would Jesus approve of people today praying where others can hear them (which all churches do today)?

Below is what I find in the Bible from Jesus:

Jesus said,  ”When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites who love to stand up and pray in the houses of worship and on street corners, in order to be noticed.  I give you My word, they are already repaid.”

“When you pray, go to a room, close the door, and pray to your Father alone.  And your Father who sees what no person sees, will hear your prayer and repay you.”

“Do not pray like the pagans who use a lot of meaningless words in their prayers and think that God will hear them because their prayers are long.  Do not be like them.”

“When you pray, keep in mind that the Father knows what you need before you ask Him.”

Sincerely,
Solitary Confinement

Dear Solitary Confinement,

Jesus had no problem with public prayer… He prayed publicly in front of five thousand people (Jhn 6:10-11).  Jesus only rebuked public prayer when it was done “in order to be seen by men” (Matt 6:5).  Our prayers should never be about being noticed; they should be fervently and faithfully directed at God (Jas 1:5-7).  There are times to publicly pray, especially when we are praying together for a common concern (like the christians who prayed for Peter’s freedom – Acts 12:12).

Pray with others, pray publicly… but pray sincerely and avoid showmanship and other vain behaviors (Matt 6:7).  And above all, don’t only pray publicly.  God wants to hear from you privately as well (Matt 6:6).

I have yet another question that I would like to ask.  I have been watching parts of the Jesus of Nazareth movie.  In the movie, Jesus, while on the sermon on the mount, talks about how to pray.  Jesus then says what I think is called the Lord’s Prayer.  Before I go to sleep at night after saying my normal everyday prayers, I like to repeat this prayer to God.  Is this okay to do?  I feel like it is okay to do, but I am not sure if it is okay to repeat it… I do mean the words that it says in the prayer; I just wanted to know if that was okay to do.  As always, thanks for your help; God bless!

Sincerely,
The Reiterator

Dear The Reiterator,

We aren’t required to pray the exact words of the Lord’s model prayer (which is found in Matt 6:9-13), but there is nothing wrong with sincerely repeating those words… with one exception.  One of the things that Jesus prayed for in that prayer has already happened.  When Jesus prayed, “Thy kingdom come…”, He was praying that the church would be established.  Jesus’ kingdom, also known as the church, has already come.  That kingdom began on the day of Pentecost when three thousand people were baptized and entered Jesus’ kingdom (Acts 2:37-41).  The apostle Paul said that christians have already entered into the kingdom (Col 1:13).  Therefore, it doesn’t make sense to pray that the kingdom comes.  However, it would be appropriate to pray that the kingdom (church) would expand, grow, and be further established.

Other than that one detail, everything that Jesus said in that prayer is perfectly appropriate today for a christian to pray.

For about two weeks, I have been drifting like somehow I have gotten separated from God; the reason I say this is because usually, when I pray, God gives me open manifestations and reveals things to me, but now it’s like I’ve been shut out.  The things that I once was on fire for concerning God… it’s like I have to push harder to get into the presence of God when it used to be so easy to get in His presence.  Please help me; I’ve never been in this place before, and I’m ashamed because I am supposed to be more mature than this when it comes to the Word and things of the Spirit of God.  Am I being rocked to sleep by the enemy?

Sincerely,
Asking For Directions

Dear Asking For Directions,

Our closeness to God isn’t defined by how close we feel to Him or by any personal revelation we think we receive… the Scriptures are our compass, not our emotions.  When the Bible was perfectly completed, all prophecy and individual revelations were done away with (1 Cor 13:9-10).  We believe your sincerity in feeling that God answers your prayers through directly speaking to you, but you are mistaken on that point.  However, the up side of that is that you can know – without worry of personal judgment muddying the waters – whether or not you are pleasing to God.  Paul told Timothy that he was approved by God when he rightly handled the Word of Truth (2 Tim 2:15).  Col 1:5 says that we have hope through the Word of God, and Eph 1:13 says we are sealed with the promise of the Holy Spirit through the Gospel of salvation.

Many people wholeheartedly believe that they are pleasing to God but will be condemned on the Day of Judgment (Matt 7:22-23).  Feelings can be deceptive, but God’s Word is unchanging, unbiased, and able to rightly divide our lives and character (Heb 4:12).  If you want to know whether or not you are pleasing God, compare your life to the Scriptures.  “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Rom 10:17).”

Based on 1 Cor 11:4-7, can a man pray while wearing a hat/cap?

Sincerely,
Covered or Uncovered?

Dear Covered or Uncovered,

1 Cor 11:1-15 is a discussion of men’s and women’s roles.  Part of that discussion involves the way that men and women look.  Women are supposed to be veiled (1 Cor 11:5), and God has given women a natural veil – their long hair (1 Cor 11:15).  Likewise men are supposed to have heads that are unveiled (1 Cor 11:4), i.e. short hair (1 Cor 11:14).  It is always wrong for a man to have long, feminine hair.  There is great debate over whether or not a man wearing a hat while praying is a sin.  One cannot be too dogmatic on this point.  The verses of first Corinthians eleven are primarily dealing with hair length, not with caps or hats.

Having said that, it is culturally appropriate in America for a man to take his hat off while praying – as a sign of respect.  Therefore, since we cannot all agree on whether leaving the hat on is a sin, but we can be sure that removing the hat is respectful… probably just best to take the hat off (Rom 14:13).

Is there any particular order that church services are to occur in?  In some congregations I’ve been to, the Lord’s Supper is at the end of the sermon, but most other congregations I have attended have it prior to the sermon.  Is there an example of how church services should be conducted down to this detail in the New Testament, or is this up to the leaders of the congregation?

Sincerely,
Out Of Order

Dear Out Of Order,

There is no particular order that services must occur in – only particular elements that need to be included.  The Bible gives us examples and commands for five different elements to the public worship.

1. Teaching/Preaching (1 Cor 4:17)
2. Singing (Eph 5:19)
3. Prayer (Acts 12:5)
4. Taking A Collection – Sunday only (1 Cor 16:1-2)
5. Lord’s Supper – Sunday only (Acts 20:7)

Of these five elements, two of them are specifically allowed only on Sundays.  The others can be done any time the brethren get together.  God is specific that these are the things He wants us to do, however, He never stipulates what order He wants them done in.  Every Bible command has specific elements and general elements to them.  For example, Noah was told to build the ark out of a specific type of wood – gopher wood (Gen 6:14) – but he was free to use whatever tools or procedures he liked to collect that wood because God wasn’t specific about that detail.  In the case of worship, God is specific on what elements He wants, but He leaves what time of day to meet, arrangement of pews, order of services, which songs to lead, and other details up to us.

My question is about asking forgiveness of sins.  Is it okay to simply say, “Please forgive me of my sins” and leave it at that when praying, or do I need to list each sin out specifically?  Do I only need to mention the big ones by name, or is it okay to lump them all together generically?

Sincerely,
Taking My Lumps

Dear Taking My Lumps,

It certainly isn’t wrong to list all of your sins out specifically, but a more generic statement is also acceptable.  Jesus taught His disciples to pray, “And forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Matt 6:12).  That is a generic way to ask for forgiveness.  Moses mentioned in the Psalms that we have “secret sins” (Ps 90:8).  In reality, you can’t list all of your sins in prayer because you don’t even know all of the different sins you commit.  There is nothing wrong with generalizing in your prayers, as long as it is still sincere.

Is it wrong for a woman to lead a prayer when men are present?  Specifically at a large family gathering before a meal?

Sincerely,
Giving Thanks

Dear Giving Thanks,

God makes it clear that a woman is not supposed to have authority over a man (1 Tim 2:12).  This command does not apply to every area of life, but it does specifically apply to the spiritual realm.  In the worship service, women are forbidden from any leadership position (1 Cor 14:34-35).  Leading a prayer is most definitely a spiritual leadership position.  Yes, it would be wrong for a woman to lead a prayer when christian men are present.

If Jesus is God, then why did Jesus pray to Himself?

Sincerely,
Talking To Myself

Dear Talking To Myself,

We often speak of the fact that there is only one God, but if we are going to be technical (and this is a technical issue), God is one in purpose, but there are actually three Deity.  This is most noticeably seen at Jesus’ baptism.  Jesus comes out of the water (Matt 3:16), the Holy Spirit descended like a dove (Matt 3:16), and the Father spoke from heaven (Matt 3:17).  Jesus, the Father, and the Holy Spirit are of one mind and one purpose (Jhn 10:30), but they are distinctly unique beings.  So when Jesus prayed to the Father (Matt 26:39), it was not the same as praying to Himself.

I have a really odd question.  When I say my prayer at night before bed, I talk to the Lord like I would any person I care about.  I’ve had nights that my prayer goes on for a long time.  I guess my question is: is this okay?  Is it wrong?  Is there a proper way to say a prayer, or does it matter when you believe in the Lord?  Thanks so much for your time and patience.  I’m sorry for such an odd question.

Sincerely,
Comfortable In Prayer

Dear Comfortable In Prayer,

We love odd questions!  There is a right and wrong way to pray, but nothing you have said that you do is necessarily wrong (we recommend you read “Whose Prayers Count?” for further details).  David mentions remembering the Lord while in his bed during the late night hours (Ps 63:6).  David said that men should pray to God continually (Ps 72:15).  Paul said to pray without ceasing (1 Thess 5:17).  There is no such thing as a prayer that is too short (Jesus’ model prayer took only seconds to say – Lk 11:1-4).  Likewise, there is also no such thing as a prayer that is too long… as long as it is heartfelt, sincere, and reverent.  Never forget that it is God you are talking to.  He deserves respect and reverence (Heb 12:28).  We can, and should, approach Him as our Father (Rom 8:15).  We can entreat Him as often as we’d like (Lk 18:1).

We read somewhere that we are not to pray for people with a reprobate mind or a sinner.  Now we cannot find it.

Sincerely,
Verse Seeker

Dear Verse Seeker,

The verse you are looking for is 1 Jn 5:16.  That verse states that there is a certain time in which we shouldn’t pray that someone be forgiven.  When someone is “sinning unto death”, we shouldn’t ask God that they be forgiven.

Any time someone does something contrary to God’s Word, they sin (Rom 7:7).  However, many times christians sin inadvertently, accidently, or in a moment of weakness.  These sins can and are forgiven by God (1 Jn 1:9).  However, if someone chooses a lifestyle of sin, that is a different story.

When we reject God’s Word and flagrantly commit sins in full knowledge that it is rebellion against God, there is no longer a sacrifice for our sins (Heb 10:26).  If you know someone who has actively turned away from God, you are not supposed to pray that God forgive them; they have committed the “sin unto death”.  Their only hope is to turn again and repent of their sins (Acts 3:19).

I have been struggling with the question of whether or not it is more effective to pray out loud or to pray silently.  I have heard that when you pray out loud, it goes out into the spiritual realm and that your words come back to you, etc.  I also heard that God spoke and things were done and that there is definitely power in our words.  I know that only God knows our thoughts, but are there any instructions on how to pray?

Sincerely,
Whisper Quiet

Dear Whisper Quiet,

God never emphasizes silent prayer above vocal prayer or vice-versa.  We have examples of both in the Bible.  Nehemiah prayed silently before the king, and his prayer was answered (Neh 2:4).  Hannah also prayed silently, but with fervor, and her prayer was answered (1 Sam. 1:13).  On the other hand, righteous Stephen prayed with a loud voice (Acts 7:60).  There is no specific instruction given by God in regard to volume.  What you have heard about “it goes out into the spiritual realm…” is a great example of a manmade tradition being passed down – the Bible never says that.

We are told to pray to God and not for attention (Matt 6:5).  We are also told that if we mistreat our spouse, our prayers will be hindered (1 Pet 3:7).  We are also told that God doesn’t hear the prayers of the wicked, only the righteous (Pr 15:29).  James says that a righteous man’s prayer does much good (Jas 5:16).  God teaches that it is our character that determines the effectiveness of our prayers, not the volume.

Sometimes I feel like asking for forgiveness is too easy.  When I think about all the sins I commit in a week, I feel awful and can’t comprehend that if I just ask for them to be forgiven, they will be, and then I’m stuck with this feeling that I’m not really forgiven.  I do truly feel sorry for what I’ve done, but is it supposed to be this easy?

Sincerely,
Apology Accepted?

Dear Apology Accepted?,

Trusting in the Lord is hardest when He offers something more spectacular than we deserve.  Heaven is hard to visualize because it is so wonderful, and forgiveness is hard to appreciate because it is so gracious.  You must remember that God provides forgiveness as a gift (Rom 6:23); it has nothing to do with whether you deserve it.  God tells us that He is eager to forgive us (Ps 86:5).  Forgiveness is His gift to give, and He may give it as freely as He wishes.

God’s forgiveness can be compared to the forgiveness a parent offers their children (after all He is called our Father for a reason – Matt 5:45).  How often do young children make mistakes as they learn and grow?  No matter how often a child fails, parents are quick to forgive them as soon as they show sorrow.  God is no different (1 Jn 1:9).  Your Father loves you so much that He gave His very own Son (Jhn 3:16).  Sometimes God’s forgiveness seems too easy because God loves us with such ease.

Is it wrong not to pray before a meal?

Sincerely,
Let’s Eat

Dear Let’s Eat,

It is easy to get caught up in constantly asking, “Is it wrong to…”; in many circumstances, thinking about things in the negative can be the wrong approach.  Christianity isn’t merely about avoiding bad choices but also about making good choices.  So the positive version of this question is, “Should we pray before meals?”  The answer to that question is: yes.

Christians are to imitate Christ (Col 2:6).  Our lives are supposed to be modeled after His pattern of living (1 Pet 2:21).  Jesus gave thanks before eating a meal (Matt 15:36).  The apostle Paul also told us to imitate him (1 Cor 11:1).  Paul gave thanks before he ate (Acts 27:35).  Paul even told Timothy that we are to receive food with thanksgiving (1 Tim 4:3-4).  Jesus told us to pray for our daily bread (Matt 6:11), and then later we are told that whatever we pray for we should also give thanks for once we’ve received it (Col 4:2).  It is appropriate and godly behavior to constantly give God thanks for the blessings we receive in this life.  After all, all our blessings flow from Him (Jas 1:17).

John 6:44 – “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him.” I pray for people who are lost. Does not this verse clearly tell us we must pray for God to draw them to Jesus? Do we think we’re special? “The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ who is the image of God.” – (2 Cor 4:4). What are your thoughts?

Sincerely,
Praying For The Lost

Dear Praying For The Lost,

It is true that we should pray for the lost, but you misunderstand Jhn 6:44. When Jesus says, “No one can come unless the Father draws him,” you are assuming He means that the Father draws people through some direct miraculous intervention. In the very next verse, Jesus explains that God draws people to Him through teaching and learning. God’s chosen tool to bring salvation to mankind is His Word (Rom 1:16). It is true that the devil has blinded people (2 Cor. 4:4), but he blinds them through deceiving and lying to them (Rev 12:9).

There is an immense need for more prayer among God’s people. We should pray that the Word of God finds good soil in honest and good hearts (Lk 8:11-15)… hearts that are open to God’s Word, so that when they hear it, they will believe and obey (Rom 10:17).

Does God answer the prayers of non-christians? I know it says in the Bible that if you are not baptized, Jesus does not know you. So does He listen to everybody’s prayers and then just answer those of His people? What about christians that have fallen away from the church?

Sincerely,
Asking To Be Heard

Dear Asking To Be Heard,

God recognizes the prayers of the faithful only. There is no doubt that God hears the prayers of christians (Jas 5:16). God hears the prayers of the righteous, but He is far from the wicked (Pr 15:29). God is constantly listening to hear the prayers of christians, but He sets His face against those who do evil. God says that even a christian who isn’t treating others well (specifically their spouse) will have their prayers hindered (1 Pet 3:7).

God does not answer the prayers of those who are ungodly. When Israel turned away from God, He stopped answering their prayers (Micah 3:4). When Judah became wicked and followed false teachings, He stopped hearing their prayers and accepting their worship (Isa 1:13-15). The same would hold true for those who fall away today. God will stop listening to and answering their prayers. It isn’t that He doesn’t hear them – He simply ignores their requests. Those outside of Christ are promised that if they seek God, they will find Him (Lk 11:9). All of mankind has the ability to ask for truth and find it, but only christians can ask God as a child asks a father (Mat 7:11). The ability to seek God’s help through prayer is a blessing given only to those who serve God (Jhn 9:31).