Is it wrong to pray for someone who is dead?  I was told the Bible says it is wrong, and I don’t remember reading that.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Morbid Curiosity

Dear Morbid Curiosity,

1 Jn 5:16 is probably the verse you are thinking of, but that doesn’t really deal with dead people; it pertains to people who are purposefully turning their backs on the Lord.  We are told not to request that God forgive people who aren’t seeking to live faithfully.

Having said that, your question deals with people that are already dead, and that is an entirely different issue.  Heb 9:27 says that people die and then face the judgment.  There is no room for someone’s fate to be changed once they die.  If your goal through prayer is to make it so someone who already died can go to heaven instead of hell, that won’t work.

     Does God hear or answer an unsaved person’s prayer?   I am saved but have been wanting some Scripture to answer my question.

Sincerely,
Is He Listening?

Dear Is He Listening,

God recognizes the prayers of the faithful only. There is no doubt that God hears the prayers of christians (Jas 5:16). God hears the prayers of the righteous, but He is far from the wicked (Pr 15:29). God is constantly listening to hear the prayers of christians, but He sets His face against those who do evil. God says that even a christian who isn’t treating others well (specifically their spouse) will have their prayers hindered (1 Pet 3:7).

God does not answer the prayers of those who are ungodly. When Israel turned away from God, He stopped answering their prayers (Micah 3:4). When Judah became wicked and followed false teachings, He stopped hearing their prayers and accepting their worship (Isa 1:13-15). The same would hold true for those who fall away today. God will stop listening to and answering their prayers. It isn’t that He doesn’t hear them – He simply ignores their requests. Those outside of Christ are promised that if they seek God, they will find Him (Lk 11:9). All of mankind has the ability to ask for truth and find it, but only christians can ask God as a child asks a father (Mat 7:11). The ability to seek God’s help through prayer is a blessing given only to those who serve God (Jhn 9:31).

     Being in church, we (or at least I) have always been told I don’t deserve anything and that only God’s grace keeps me up every day.  I have been reminded of this several times and try to utilize it to make me humble.  I’ll try to be brief and as candid as possible but… how am I to pray if I am so undeserving?

Yes, I know Jesus reached out to sinners more than anyone else, but what do we sinners pray about?  Am I deserving enough to everyday pray for others’ help?  Is it vanity that makes me pray to better myself everyday?  Let’s say I have the blackest soul alive; what do I actually deserve to do?  What am I allowed to pray for?  Would working out and wearing makeup hurt God as vanity?  Would determination to do my very best at work and school (fully aware that I’m doing it to get a good job financially) hurt God as greed?  Would never cursing out loud once in my life and acting the caring person when I have had inner monologues of foul language and can’t seem to ever help judging every single person I meet and know every day hurt God as hypocrisy?

Basically, if I know I don’t deserve the life I live and shouldn’t deserve it, how can I live it?

Sincerely,
Unworthy

Dear Unworthy,

It is true that we have all sinned and don’t deserve to go to heaven (Rom 3:23), but what you are talking about is more than just being undeserving; you are saying that everyone is totally depraved, and even when we do good things, it is all just a sham.  The idea that we are all deeply and totally depraved and don’t have a single shred of goodness in us is not from the Bible; it is a teaching called ‘Calvinism’.  Calvinism teaches that you are born sinful and always are sinful and that nothing you can do is ever good enough – this is not true.  After all, God made us in His image… that is a good thing!  Sin is something that you do, not something that you are.  Sin does separate us from God, and Christ’s blood is a gift that gives us a chance to be reunited with the Father.  We could never earn what Christ has given us, but that doesn’t mean that in your heart of hearts, you are a bad person.  Christ specifically came to save those people that wished to be good but still made bad choices.  Paul dealt with this inner struggle that faithful people have as they fight the battle against the flesh in Rom 7:22-25.  People aren’t born inherently bad at the core – we choose to want evil or to want good.  Calvinism is wrong, and we recommend you read the article “Calvin And Sobs” for a complete breakdown of this false teaching that has befuddled quite a lot of good people.

Does prayer really work???  I pray for situations to change in my life, and they don’t.  I do the best I can to try to get ahead, but it seems like more frustrating things end up in my path.  Furthermore, it seems as a slap in the face to my faith.  I watch those around me who barely believe in God live fulfilling lives.  What does God want me to do?

Sincerely,
Up In Arms

Dear Up In Arms,

Prayers do work, but God still has veto power.  We are told to pray that “if the Lord wills, we will do this or that” (Jas 4:15).  Jesus taught His disciples to pray for the Lord’s will to be done (Matt 6:10).  Part of prayer is that we need to learn to trust that God knows what He is doing.  We are entreating the Creator of the Universe with our problems, and just like any loving father, our Heavenly Father sometimes says, “No” to our requests.  As every parent knows, children sometimes ask for things that aren’t in their best interest, or they ask things unaware of the bigger picture.  God wants to give us good gifts (Matt 7:11)… sometimes that means that He answers our prayers by giving us something different than what we expected.

Now, let’s talk about those prosperous unbelievers that you are seeing.  Your frustration is valid, and David had the same frustration.  In Psalm 73, David talked about his animosity toward the success of the ungodly… he said it made him so mad that he almost fell away from God (Ps 73:2).  However, David finally concluded that the ungodly were not blessed because their entire existence was slippery and dependent upon their physical prosperity (Ps 73:18).  Only God’s people have an eternal hope that gives us comfort regardless of how life goes here (Ps 73:27-28).

I am feeling very sick right now, and I have a question: why do I still feel the same though I have already prayed?

Sincerely,
Ill At Ease

Dear Ill At Ease,

There are two reasons that God might not have answered your prayers yet.  The first reason is that He is ignoring your prayers because you aren’t a christian, or you aren’t living faithfully.  Read “Whose Prayers Count?” for the list of things that will make God turn His back on your prayers.

The other reason is that God’s timing is different than yours.  God answers our prayers according to His will, not ours – in fact, we should pray that the Lord’s will be done (Jas 4:15).  Having said that, it is perfectly appropriate to keeping praying until the answer is clear – God is pleased with the consistently prayerful (1 Thess 5:17).  He wants you to ask over and over – until He gives you an answer.  David prayed vehemently for the life of his child until the child died (2 Sam 12:22-23).  Paul prayed for his sickness to be removed three times until God told him to accept the pain (2 Cor 12:8-9).  Cornelius’ prayers were constantly before the Lord until Peter was sent (Acts 10:4-5).  Even our Lord prayed in the garden repeatedly that He might not have to die on the cross (Matt 26:39).  The key in all these circumstances was that the requests ceased when God answered. Once God made His decision apparent, whether it was yes or no, acceptance began.

God never gets tired of hearing from His children.  Christians are to constantly seek Him in prayer.  The most direct example of this is Christ’s parable of the unjust judge in Lk 18:1-5.  Christ taught that parable so that “men ought always to pray, and not to grow weary”.  God wants to hear from His people.  So don’t stop asking for help; He is listening.  We are so sorry for your illness, and we will pray for you as well.

I know that we pray to God, but I have a problem when people say we cannot talk to Christ.  Did Stephen not talk to Christ as he was being stoned?  Did Paul not beseech the Lord three times?  Are Christ and God not one?  Is Christ not our Advocate and Mediator?  What’s your take on talking to Jesus?

Sincerely,
Deep In Conversation

Dear Deep In Conversation,

The example of Stephen is clearly a case of someone talking to Jesus, but you must remember that Stephen was looking at Jesus at the time (Acts 7:55-56)… this isn’t your average prayer – if Jesus was standing in front of you, you wouldn’t call it prayer, and that is exactly what happened to Stephen.  Also, the example of Paul in 2 Cor 12:8 isn’t a good proof text because it could be referring to Jesus or the Father – both are referred to as ‘Lord’ in the Bible.  This is an issue that brethren have mixed reviews on.  Personally, we don’t feel comfortable condemning someone for praying to Jesus, but at the same time, the example we see throughout the Scriptures is that of praying to the Father… especially since that is the way Jesus taught us to pray (Lk 11:1-4).  Jesus specifically said there would come a time when we wouldn’t ask Him anything, but we would pray to His Father and the Father would answer our prayers that are prayed in Jesus’ name (Jhn 16:23).  The problem with praying to Jesus is that we simply don’t have any examples of it in the whole New Testament.