Why do we, believers, sometimes act like Pharisees?

Sincerely,
Un-Phar

Dear Un-Phar,

There are lots of reasons that people can behave Pharisaically.  The Pharisees chose their traditions over the Bible (Mk 7:8), and the Pharisees also cared more about appearances than they did about genuinely serving God (Matt 23:25-26).  Sadly, there are still people like that in the church today.  The key is to not be that way yourself.

     First of all, we are loving Christians who tithe and give our offerings, and God has blessed us dearly.

However, there is a family who are friends with our family, and we love them.  Yet, they are constantly taking advantage of our niceness and Christian faith because they are always asking for things, especially money, and they know we will try to help them… $40 here, $60 there, $100 here, another $40 there, another $80 there.  Many times it is twice a month or once a month.  This has been occurring over and over and over for the past three to four years.  Although they never pay us back, we continue to help them out because this is the Christian thing to do.  However, there is a time for all things!  It is just getting out of hand!  Will God be upset with us if we slowly and kindly stop giving them money and start putting these resources to better use?  Thank you for your help.

Sincerely,
Give Me A Break

Dear Give Me A Break,

The Bible tells us that it is a good thing to give and help others who are in need (Acts 20:35, Matt 19:21).  However, the Bible also has some strict rules regarding those who are unwilling to work and are always looking for handouts.  2 Thess 3:10 says that if a man won’t work, neither let him eat.  There is a point where giving to someone can actually hinder them from being productive and enable entitlement behavior.

Furthermore, the Bible tells us to be good stewards of what we have (1 Cor 4:2).  How you budget and spend your money needs to be generous and wise.  It sounds like you feel that you are being generous, but you are no longer being wise in your financial dealings.

- The AYP Team

     Are there any scriptures that instruct us on fellowshipping with other Christians (i.e. where to fellowship, what to do when we fellowship)?  I’ve been meeting with a group of Christians here and there, and it seems all we do is eat, talk about random things, and go home.  I have yet to see a Bible opened at one of the fellowships; we don’t even speak about God and His Word.  If someone walked in on our fellowship, they would think we’re just a bunch of friends sitting around and having a good ol’ time.  I want to bring this up before the group.  Any suggestions?

Sincerely,
A Different Kind Of Hungry

Dear A Different Kind Of Hungry,

The Bible talks a lot about fellowship but not in the way we often use the word today.  The word ‘fellowship’ means ‘the share which one has in anything, participation’.  In short, the word fellowship doesn’t have anything to do with social gatherings; it is about partnership and sharing in a common goal.  The Greek word for fellowship is sometimes translated ‘communion’ (2 Cor 13:14) or ‘contribution’ (Rom 15:26) because when we share in a common work or contribute to a common work, we are in fellowship.

The church must be in fellowship with one another constantly.  We must work together for a common purpose at all times.  However, that doesn’t have anything to do with whether or not you socialize… in the case of Php 1:3-5, Paul said he had fellowship with the Philippian church because they financially supported him even though he was in a distant land.

Now that we know what fellowship is and isn’t, let’s talk about this group getting together.  There isn’t anything wrong with Christians just spending time together for fun and social enjoyment.  However, if you are getting together for the purpose of studying and spiritual growth, it sounds like this group isn’t meeting those goals.

     I was wondering if someone could provide me with some information about Jesus and His work as well as life on Earth?  Could you point me in the right direction?  What does history or the Bible say?

Sincerely,
Investigator

Dear Investigator,

The best place to read about Jesus’ life is in the first four books of the New Testament – Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.  These four books all tell about the life of Jesus from four different perspectives.  Secular historians, like the Jewish historian, Josephus, make mention of Jesus, but the most detailed accounts of His life are found in the Bible.  A detailed study of Jesus life can be downloaded from our website – click here to go to the first lesson in our study of the book of Matthew.

      I have relationship problems.  My girlfriend keeps leaving me while I’m at work.  We’ve been together for five years, and every now and then, she gets really bothered and gets distant and treats me like a total stranger and leaves for her sister’s.  Her sister is no help; she compounds the problems in my girlfriend’s head, so she will leave and be with her.  My girlfriend has mental issues; she’s paranoid schizophrenic, and she’s really impressionable.  When she leaves with our son, I have no way to contact her, and I’m really anxious and freaked out.  I don’t think our problems are any worse than anybody else’s.  We’ve had our problems; she’s had drug problems and cheated on me.  The most I’ve done is talk to people on the internet because I feel so alone sometimes when she ignores me.

I’m so lost, and I miss my son, and I know he’s so confused.  What do I do?  Her sister keeps quoting scriptures to me through Facebook and telling my girlfriend that I’m some evil person she shouldn’t be with.

Sincerely,
Not Evil

Dear Not Evil,

From what you are saying, you and your girlfriend aren’t married but are living and sleeping together – this is why your son is confused.  Sin has a way of destroying our lives and tearing us apart.  You are sinning by living and sleeping together without being married.  God designed those things for marriage only (Gen 2:24).  You both need to make a decision: either commit to a life together and get married or stop sinning and separate yourselves.  Nothing will get better until you do that.

     I was reading the Bible, and I have one question and am looking for the answer from you.  In Matt. 5:5 it says, “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth”, and what comes to my mind is all we need is inheriting the kingdom of God… so what does that mean, “shall inherit the earth”?  Would you make this clear for me please?  God bless you!

Sincerely,
Feeling Bold

Dear Feeling Bold,

A meek person is one with a soothing or gentle attitude.  Meekness is the opposite of self-assertiveness, bossiness, or arrogant forcefulness.  A meek man allows his will to be subjected to the will of God and accepts the Lord’s instructions with peace and self-control.

Though it is true that Christians understand their final inheritance is reserved in heaven (1 Pet 1:4), a meek person is able to fully appreciate and enjoy the blessings of this earth because they have submitted to the Lord’s instruction and guidance.  When we are meek, the Father supplies all our needs (Php 4:19), and we can enjoy the blessings because we put them in proper perspective.  Meekness allows us to truly love life and see good days here on this planet… as well as eternally in heaven (1 Pet 3:10).

     I just read the post about when we die, we will not be woman or man.  When I die, will I not know about anything or anybody in this life?  I feel like when I die, it will be my soul living but not really me.  I feel sad thinking I will not remember my husband and kids… this leaves me feeling empty.

Sincerely,
Sad Mom

Dear Sad Mom,

When we die, we don’t forget our family.  Even when the rich man woke up in torments, he remembered his brothers (Lk 16:27-28).  If those in torments remember, then how much more will those in Paradise remember their beloved families?  Hopefully, you can find comfort in that.

     Are we supposed to go out and preach the Word, or are we supposed to wait until we are asked?  My own experience says that if someone is being called by God, they will reach out (it’s what I did before being saved), but there are those who believe it’s their duty to go out and preach.  Thank you and God bless you.

Sincerely,
Ready And Waiting

Dear Ready And Waiting,

When Jesus walked this Earth, He sought those who were lost (Lk 19:10), and we should do the same.  Though it is true that some people are already looking for the truth, and God guarantees that those who seek Him will find Him (Matt 7:7), there are others that blindly live in ignorance until we bring the truth to them.  Jesus’ great commission to His apostles was to go and make disciples from every nation (Matt 28:19).  Christians must be searching for opportunities to spread God’s Word – look for those open doors (Col 4:3).  There are two types of converts: those who went actively searching for the pearl of God’s wisdom and found it (Matt 13:45-46) and those who stumbled across the treasured salvation found in Christ (Matt 13:44).  We must be ready for both.

     I am a Christian, and I have an old friend who is an atheist.  My friend has been married for seventeen years and last summer came close to a divorce after his wife discovered that he was having an affair.  They have since reconciled but have sought no counseling.  I have even suggested they begin this new chapter in their lives by joining a church.  This suggestion was laughed off.  He and his wife along with my wife and me are going on vacation together in three weeks.  We live 900 miles apart from one another.

Now that you have the background, here’s the question.  Yesterday, he asked me to renew his wife’s and his vows on the beach!  My knee-jerk response was, “No, I can’t do that.  You need a preacher!”  He responded by saying that he doesn’t need a preacher, and he just needs someone to do the vows, and who better than his old best friend?  Something is nagging at me.  First of all, I don’t think they have taken the right steps to ensure a solid marriage going forward, but there seems to be more bothering me.  Is there something wrong with a Christian renewing the vows of a couple who are not Christians?  Is there something wrong with someone other than a preacher renewing a married couple’s vows?  Thank you.

Sincerely,
An Old Friend

Dear An Old Friend,

No, there isn’t anything wrong with you helping them renew their vows – after all, they aren’t officially getting married; they did that seventeen years ago.  This is just a couple trying to reconcile and re-embrace a healthy marriage.  God says that marriage is to be held in honor by all (Heb 13:4).  It isn’t a sin for you to help any married couple try and renew a sense of honor in their marriage.

What scripture shows that God laughs or has a sense of humor?  Thanks.

Sincerely,
Funny Bone

Dear Funny Bone,

God definitely has a sense of humor, but just as a child often struggles to see his parents’ funny bone because they are busy raising the child, we often miss God’s sense of humor because we are His children and the works of His hands (1 Jn 3:1).  One of the simplest proofs of God’s ability to find humor is that we are made in His image (Gen 1:27), and we are able to laugh.  Since man has a sense of humor, God must have one also.

Ps 59:8 talks about God laughing at those who think they can outwit Him, and Ps 2:4 says the same.  There are other things that point to God’s sense of humor.  When we look at the animals and created world, we see the invisible attributes of God (Rom 1:20).  God made the platypus – that animal is downright hilarious-looking!

Lastly, there are other anecdotes in the Bible that show God’s sense of humor: the way He destroys the false god, Dagon, in 1 Sam 5:1-5 or how the false exorcists were put to flight in Acts 19:13-16.

     What about mixing incense with the prayers of God’s people?  I try not to get caught up into things which I don’t understand until I get further understanding.  One Sunday, our pastor brought into the sanctuary a replica of the Ark of the Covenant, and he walked around the sanctuary with incense like the Catholics do; we are not Catholic.  Then he said we were to write down prayers and place them in this replica of the Ark of the Covenant.  It still sits there today; now he says that he is going to burn those written prayers since its been eighty-one days, and they will ascend unto God.  And then he said he’s going to do the same practice again.  Can you tell me if this ritual is practiced today and what he is doing?  And should I participate in this?  I didn’t before.

Sincerely,
Skeptical

Dear Skeptical,

This is definitely not a New Testament practice… nor is it an Old Testament practice for that matter!  The Bible teaches that our prayers are the incense God wants to receive (Ps 141:2, Rev 8:4).  We never see the New Testament church burning incense as a form of worship, and the only people who were allowed to burn incense in the Old Testament were descendants of the high priest, Aaron (Num 4:16, 1 Sam. 2:28).  This preacher is adding to God’s Word and is absolutely in the wrong (Rev 22:18-19).

     I am a newly-ordained minister.  I want to have a church, but I’m not sure how to build my congregation.  I live the Lord our God with all my heart, and I really have a desire to help people come to know Christ.  How do I build up my church and encourage others to come?

Sincerely,
Graduate

Dear Graduate,

The only advice we can give is to hold very carefully to the Bible pattern, and the congregation will be blessed.  It shouldn’t be your church, and you shouldn’t try and build your congregation – the only church that matters is Christ’s church.  The churches that are pleasing to God are the ones that belong to Him.  The religious world is full of people that try and make churches grow by doing all sorts of things that have nothing to do with New Testament Christianity.  If the congregation strives to use book, chapter, and verse for everything it does ­– it will be a success no matter how many members it has.  You may find the article “Down With Denominationalism” useful, and we also have an article entitled “Finding A Church” that might interest you because it gives the perspective of what the Bible tells people to look for in a congregation.

     Can you tell me all you know about blasphemy?  How do I know if I have done it, how do I make sure I don’t, and can it really not be forgiven?  What if you did it without knowing or before you realized what it was… or before you got saved?  Please help!  I was told if you’re worrying about it, you probably haven’t.  Just wondering!  Thanks!

Sincerely,
Watching My Mouth

Dear Watching My Mouth,

Blasphemy can be forgiven, like all other sins, but it definitely is wrong.  The word ‘blasphemy’ means ‘to speak evil of’; any language that speaks poorly of God is blasphemy.  When we use God’s name as a cuss word or exclamatory term, we demote Him in our minds from the lofty position He deserves.  God tells us to revere Him (Heb 12:28).  All our speech needs to be both clean and reverent, so God’s name is spoken well of amongst His people (1 Tim 6:1).

     Is it a sin against God to drive a car without a driver’s license?  I have my learner’s license, but I still drive my car on my own.  I am a born-again Christian, and I have given my life to Christ, but I want to know if I am sinning against God.

Sincerely,
Behind The Wheel

Dear Behind The Wheel,

God tells us that as Christians, we must obey the laws of the land in which we live.  Rom 12:1-2 says that God is the one that puts all governments in place, and we are to be in subjection to those governments.  The only exception to that rule would be if the government creates laws that would be immoral to follow (like forced abortions or banning Bibles).  In that case, we obey God rather than men (Acts 5:29).  In your circumstance, if you only have a learner’s license, you should only drive when and how the learner’s license allows.

     Once you lose your salvation, can you get it back?  I always heard of “back sliding” or something.  Once it’s gone, is it forever gone, or can you be forgiven and regain your salvation?  If everyone sins, then doesn’t that mean that sinning alone won’t cause you to lose your salvation?  If that’s the truth, what will?

Sincerely,
Sliding Forward

Dear Sliding Forward,

It takes more than just sin to lose your salvation – it takes a lifestyle of intentional sin… and yes, those that fall away can come back to God.  Let us give you an example.  In 1 Cor 5:1, the apostle Paul rebuked the church at Corinth because there was a member in that congregation that was committing fornication with his father’s wife – definitely a sin.  The man knew it was wrong, accepted that it was wrong, and still continued to live that lifestyle.  Paul said the church needed to rebuke him and withdraw from him (1 Cor 5:13).  That is what losing your salvation looks like…  choosing intentionally to live a life away from God’s will and not attempting to correct your faults.  If we are trying to correct our lives and change, God will forgive us even if we fail over and over again (Lk 17:3-4)… but when we stop trying, we’ve broken the faith.

Now let’s deal with a Christian that falls away from God and then wants to come back.  We’ll use that same man in 1 Cor 5:1 as our example.  Paul later wrote a second letter to the Corinthian church, and in it, that wayward man had repented of his sin, and Paul told the Corinthians to forgive him and reaffirm their love for him (2 Cor 2:6-8).  So, the moral of the story is that even those who fall away can return to God once more.

     What is the role of a brother in Christ with regard to a sister in Christ who is not his wife, daughter, sister, mother, or any other female family member?  I’m a sister in Christ.  I don’t want to be husbanded or fathered.  I just want a brother and a friend, not someone who is trying to manage my life like he does a wife or one of his children.  Shouldn’t there be a difference?

Sincerely,
Not Yours

Dear Not Yours,

The Bible teaches that men in the church should treat women in the church like sisters and mothers (depending on their age).  Paul clearly says this in 1 Tim 5:2.  It isn’t the job of a Christian man to manage the lives of all Christian women – frankly, we’ve got enough work just taking care of ourselves!

We aren’t entirely sure what your complete question is, but it is possible for men and women in the church to have friendships, as long as they are careful to avoid anything inappropriate (1 Thess 5:2).  Both genders in the church are to seek healthy relationships with all Christians… whether male, female, young, or old.

The only people within a congregation who would have a responsibility to “manage” you would be the elders, who are given the task of watching over the saints (1 Pet 5:2).

    Recent research says that most of the first chapter of the Bible was written in 100 AD.  The part that is puzzling is that there are two ‘creation of man’ stories.  One is the traditional rib story, and the other is that He created them man and woman.  Which is true – if any?  Another part says that God created man in His image and likeness.  If God is a spirit, what are His image and likeness?

Sincerely,
Fabri-created?

Dear Fabri-created,

We don’t know what recent research you have been reading, but there is not a notable Bible historian on the planet that would say that the first chapter of Genesis was written in 100 AD.  Even if you only used the Dead Sea Scrolls, those manuscripts are dated around 100 BC.

As for the dual creation stories, the confusion comes when people read Genesis 1 and see that God made man and woman, and then read Genesis 2 and see God making man and woman all over again.  The key is to realize that chapter one is an overview of the entire six days of creation (which includes the creation of man on day six), and Genesis chapter two is a more detailed account of what happened when God made Adam and Eve.
Think of chapter two as a microscope honing in to get a closer look at the most important detail of the creation story – the creation of humans.

     All my life I have heard of the Unforgiveable Sin.  Could you tell me about it?  I have this worry that I’ve done it or if I will in the future.  It’s eating at me; please help.

Sincerely,
Feeling Guilty

Dear Feeling Guilty,

The unforgivable sin is the sin against the Holy Spirit, and the fact that you are visiting this website is a pretty sure sign that you haven’t committed it.  Jesus says that any sin will be forgiven except for someone blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mk 3:28-30).  Jesus said this to the crowd that accused Him of casting out demons by the power of Satan (Mk 3:23).  That crowd could have been forgiven of any sin, but instead they rejected the miracles that testified that Jesus was from God.  Contrast that crowd’s attitude with Nicodemus’ attitude.  Nicodemus understood that the only way that someone could perform a miracle was if God was with him (Jhn 3:2).  When that crowd rejected the evidence that the Holy Spirit provided (in this case, the miracles), they rejected any chance to receive the forgiveness found in Jesus’ teachings.  When we reject the truth of God (the Bible), we reject the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit’s primary job is to bring the truth of the gospel to mankind (see the post “What the Holy Spirit Does” for more details).  Someone blasphemes the Holy Spirit by rejecting the truth that the Holy Spirit sent us in the Bible.  Any sin can be forgiven if we will turn to God’s Word and obey it (Rom 10:17, Heb 5:9), but there is absolutely no hope for someone if he or she will not accept the Holy Spirit’s Bible.

Therefore, since it seems that you are actively seeking the truth and trying to study and learn what God’s Word is – you have not committed the unforgivable sin.

     If His eye is on the sparrow (Matt 6:26), how are we to feel and react to the amount of suffering in the world?  I do not mean accidents or things that happen as a result of the free will of people – I’m thinking specifically of starvation, people who live with large families in small shacks, etc.  If God feeds even the birds, why does He allow children to starve?  How am I, as a Christian, supposed to reconcile this with the idea of a God who loves us and will care for us when we are in need?

Sincerely,
Well-Fed?

Dear Well-Fed,

God does keep a closer eye on us than He does the sparrows, but you must remember that Matt 10:29 says that even the sparrows that God cares for fall to the ground in death.  Death is inevitable ever since Adam and Eve’s sin (Gen 2:17).  We will all die, and sin’s destructive power is the source of all suffering.

You see, starving families are an act of mankind’s choices.  All experts agree that there is more than enough food to feed the whole world – starvation is due to oppression from others, a lack of compassion for our fellow man, and countless other sinful behaviors.  There is no valid reason for anyone to go hungry in this world – it is sin that causes all the harm we see to our fellow man.

God does watch over everyone, and He is intimately aware of every hair on our heads (Lk 12:7), but God must balance His love and desire to intercede for us with His promise to let us make our own choices and suffer the consequences (Gal 6:7).  All the great tragedies we see in this world are consequences of mankind turning its back on God.  From God’s standpoint, as horrible as it must be for Him to watch children suffer, He also knows that when children die, they go home to be comforted by Him.

     Why did people in the Bible live so long? I have heard that after the Flood, it changed the climate dramatically, therefore having a huge impact on humans.  I was just curious what the real answer is or if it is just a ‘best guess’ kind of thing.

Sincerely,
Older By The Minute

Dear Older By The Minute,

There is no specific answer as to why God allowed the age of man to deteriorate down to seventy to eighty years (Ps 90:10) from the hundreds of years that people lived during the pre-Flood era, but many creation scientists attribute the drop to genetic degradation.  As mankind’s genetic pool has deteriorated from the perfect specimens of Adam and Eve, the length of our lives has suffered.  At least, that is one theory.

Think of it this way, Adam and Eve were the most healthy, well-made humans ever.  They were genetic royalty!  Everyone since them has been just a little less perfect.  That is the way genetics work.  Slowly over time, genetic mutations (like hemophilia, Down’s Syndrome, etc.) have crept into the genetic code of mankind, and other genetic traits have been lost.  This slow process of erosion has brought us to the point where we are today.  Our bodies are genetically inferior to the earlier generations of mankind, and consequently, can’t survive as long.  As you said, another factor may simply be that the post-Flood world is harsher than the pre-Flood world, and that has added to our shortened lifespans.

Like you said, there isn’t a definitive answer – it’s more of a ‘best guess’ thing.

     First of all, I want to say you are amazing, and what you’re doing is AMAZING!  I cannot thank God enough that I have found you!!!  You said that “we must each work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.”  What exactly does that mean?  Does that mean it’s normal that I’m scared?

Sincerely,
Asking

Dear Asking,

We are so glad that our answers are helping you!  Yes, Php. 2:12 does mean that it is healthy to have a certain level of fear when thinking about spiritual things.  After all, your soul’s eternal fate is the most important issue in your whole life.  Whether you go to heaven or hell is a big deal!
Proverbs 1:7 says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.  We were made by God and for God; until we understand that, nothing in life makes sense.  Having a healthy respect for God is an essential ingredient to a healthy life.

     Once you get saved, do you believe you can lose your salvation?  I’ve read that once you’re saved, you’re forever saved, but I’ve also read that your name can be wiped from the Book.

Sincerely,
How Safe Am I?

Dear How Safe Am I,

The Bible clearly says that you can lose your salvation.  Heb 3:12 says that we must be wary and protect our hearts because an evil, unbelieving heart can fall away.  2 Pet 3:17 says that we can lose our salvation if we get caught up in false teaching (1 Tim 4:1 also states this).  If we return to a life of ungodliness, then we crucify Christ again (Heb 6:4-6).  Rev 2:10 says we must be faithful unto death if we wish to receive the heavenly prize.

     I have confessed to God, asked Him to come into my life and change me according to His will.  I have acknowledged my belief in Jesus’ dying on the cross and also His blood cleansing/washing away my sins as well as Him being crucified on the cross and being resurrected on the third day.  But why don’t I feel different?

Sincerely,
Numb

Dear Numb,

It is impossible to say why you (or anyone else) feel a certain way.  Emotions are fickle and can be deceiving.  Some people feel that they are saved when, in fact, they are lost (Matt 7:21-23), but whether our heart condemns us or not isn’t what saves us (1 Jn 3:19-21).  It is our adherence to God’s Word that saves us (Rom 1:16).  If you are doing what God says you must do to be saved, then you can have confidence regardless of how you feel (see “What Must I Do To Be Saved?” for further details).  Serving God is often an issue of doing what is right without regard to our emotions… showing bravery when we are afraid, working when we are tired, praying when we feel we aren’t heard, and persevering when we are discouraged.  One of Satan’s greatest tools to destroy us is that we often don’t feel as we ought, and sin has a way of numbing us to the truth of God’s Word (Heb 3:13).

     Is it okay to call people things like a hypocrite, liar, selfish, ignorant, stuck-up, bully, etc. under any circumstances?

Sincerely,
Piping Up

Dear Piping Up,

In almost all circumstances, it is wrong to call people these things because most of the time people use these words to lash out in anger and frustration.  God makes it clear that we shouldn’t do that (Matt 5:21-22).  Though it is okay to be angry, we should never sin in that anger (Eph 4:26).

There are times, though, that Jesus called people liars or hypocrites because they truly were, and they needed to be exposed for the greater good (Matt 23:13).  Jesus was careful to only use that sort of harsh language in the most extreme of circumstances and with only the most hard-hearted of individuals – we should follow His lead (1 Cor 11:1).

[This question is in response to “Waiting Around”]

      Can you explain exactly what “our spirit” is (as you previously answered another inquirer regarding the spirit of a Christian separating from the body and going to Paradise).  Is the spirit our conscience?

Sincerely,
Jiminy Cricket

Dear Jiminy Cricket,

Your spirit is who you really are.  We are made in God’s image (Gen 1:27) – it is our spirit that is crafted in His image, not our bodies.  Jhn 4:24 says that God is spiritual, not physical.  God existed long before the physical world ever did (Gen 1:1).  Our spirits are fashioned after our Heavenly Father, and long after our bodies decay, our spirits will live on.
Your spirit is that part of you that truly is you.  It is more than your conscience; it is your soul – your very essence.  Your body is just a vessel to contain your spirit until the day you go to meet your God (Jas 2:26).

     I have a wife who is faithful to me.  She does not know about my secret relationship.  I also have a girlfriend who loves me, and I love her (she knows my situation).  She cannot keep going on like this in a part-time relationship.  Frankly, neither can I.  I have to make a decision to be with one or the other.  We (girlfriend and I) want to live right before God.  Can I leave my faithful wife, choose my girlfriend, and still live right before the Lord?  What would we gain?  What would we lose?  What must we do to make it right before God?

Sincerely,
Got To Choose

Dear Got To Choose,

No, unequivocally no!  You cannot leave your wife to start a new life with your girlfriend.  Marriage was designed by God to be monogamous, and the marriage bed should be undefiled (Gen 2:24, Heb 13:4).  What you are doing is wrong.  You are fornicating, defiling your marriage, and destroying this other woman’s life as well.

The only faithful way out of this sin is to break off your relationship with your mistress, flee fornication (1 Cor 6:18), and start being faithful to your already faithful wife.

     I have had an account on Facebook for a few months now.  I have friends that are members of different denominations.  Many times, I see them on Sunday or Wednesday make comments on “saving” someone or give a preview of a lesson they are going to preach, and I have even witnessed one typing the “sinner’s prayer” for someone to read to obtain salvation.  We both know salvation is not obtained by prayer.  My question is: should I just not take part in those conversations, so I don’t start a cyber war because their friends are the ones agreeing with them… or should I speak up and proclaim the truth?  Face-to-face, I would correct them using Scripture, but it’s easy to scroll on by when on Facebook.  What would you do?

Sincerely,
Friendly

Dear Friendly,

In every area of life, when to speak up and when to remain silent is a skill that takes time and wisdom to acquire.  The Bible teaches us to be brave and courageous with God’s truth (Lk 12:3-4, 2 Tim 1:7), but it also teaches us to not waste time on those who aren’t interested (Matt 7:6).
If the situation seems appropriate, feel free to make a comment on Facebook that there is another side to the story when it comes to the plan of salvation… but don’t feel guilty if it is clear they aren’t looking for input.  You can always use the information in the public Facebook post as a catalyst for a private conversation… which might be a better setting.

     I remember you said one time some of you guys could read Koine Greek.  I have heard it said that Greek is almost never translated into English correctly.  They may take two Greek words with two meanings and put them into one English word. So can you read the Textus Receptus and, let’s say, Westcott Hort Greek text?  If so, how can someone like me who can’t read Koine Greek be able to look up the Greek words?  For example, if I am reading the Bible and want to look up the word ‘blood’ in the Greek and find the meaning, how can I?

Sincerely,
Monolingual

Dear Monolingual,

Whoever told you that Greek is never translated into English correctly… is incorrect.  There are many wonderful English word-for-word translations of the Bible.  The King James, New King James, American Standard, New American Standard, and English Standard versions are all excellent.  Thousands of Greek scholars have poured over those translations to make sure that they are accurate renderings of the Greek language.  Sometimes translations will take two words from the first language and translate them into one in the second – they also will do the opposite.  This is part of accurate translating; each language has varying words with varying colors and definitions; the translator’s job is to accurately convey one language into another, and sometimes, it takes more or less words to do that.

If you want to be able to look up Greek definitions yourself, the easiest way is to use a Strong’s numbered Bible and a Strong’s numbered Bible dictionary.  Strong’s numbering assigns a number for each Greek word in the Bible, so you can look up definitions without actually knowing the words.  Just find the number in the Bible, and then look up the definition using the same number.  A word of caution, Strong’s numbers only provide definitions; they don’t cover the grammatical elements of the Greek language.

     Exactly what is the difference between our souls and our spirit?

Sincerely,
Soul-Splitter

Dear Soul-Splitter,

The words ‘soul’ and ‘spirit’ are used interchangeably in almost every circumstance.  There is only one verse that points to the fact that there is a difference between your soul and your spirit.  In Heb 4:12, it says that the Bible can pierce even to the divide between soul and spirit.  Apparently, there is a difference between your spirit and your soul… but we have absolutely no idea what that difference is.  As we said, in every other verse, those two terms are used as synonyms.  We could theorize for hours on the topic, but anything we said would simply be conjecture.  As far as we can tell from Scripture, both terms are used to talk about that ungraspable spark of life (where? – we have no idea) in every human that exists even after death.

What do you have to do to get into heaven?

Sincerely,
Heaven-Bound

Dear Heaven-Bound,

The Bible outlines five things you must do to become a christian. The question, “What must I do to be saved?” is the most important question any human can ever ask. Plenty of groups will pick and choose what they want to focus on. Many groups say that all you must do is “believe in your heart” and you will be saved – unfortunately, this is cherry-picking out one requirement and leaving the rest behind. We must always remember that the sum of God’s Word provides the truth (Ps 119:160). Belief is obviously an important element to salvation, but it is not the only condition. The Bible outlines five separate requirements for salvation, and all of them are necessary.

1. Hear the Word. Faith comes through hearing, and hearing comes through the Word of God (Rom 10:17). Until someone hears God’s Word, they are incapable of obeying it.
2. Believe the Word. It is impossible for someone to become a christian unless they believe that Jesus is the Savior and Son of God (Jhn 20:31, Acts 16:31, Jhn 3:16).
3. Repent of your sins. ‘Repent’ means to ‘change your mind’. That change of mind always involves a change of action as well. Repentance is when we change our mind about what is important and submit ourselves to Jesus and His Word. Repentance is a necessity of salvation (Mk 6:12, Lk 13:5, Lk 15:7).
4. Confess Jesus to others. If we have sworn our allegiance to Jesus, we must be prepared to publicly confess Him as our Lord. If we won’t confess Jesus before men, He won’t confess us before God (Matt 10:32-33, Lk 12:8-9).
5. Be baptized in the name of Jesus for salvation. Many groups baptize people, but very few baptize people for the right reasons. Baptism isn’t merely an “outward showing of an inward faith” or “for membership”. Baptism is what saves us (1 Pet 3:21). Baptism is the point where someone goes from being lost to saved because they are buried and resurrected with Christ (Rom 6:4-5). Baptism is the final requirement to become a christian (Acts 2:37-38, Mk 16:16, Acts 2:41). There is not a single example of someone becoming a christian without baptism. Baptism is just as necessary as the other four requirements.

After that, there remains nothing else but to find a faithful congregation to assemble with (Heb 10:24) that teaches God’s Word and God’s Word only (see “Finding a Church” for more details) and to continue to grow in knowledge and practice of God’s Word (1 Pet 2:2).  If you would like help finding a faithful church in your area – simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org and we would be happy to help you locate one.

      Thanks for answering my question about whether or not God exists!  I have another question if it isn’t too much trouble; well, truthfully, I have a lot of questions, but you said, “It is important that everyone asks this question at some point in their life.”

Why is that?  I contacted a few churches with similar questions, and one even told me that he had never doubted it and made me feel as if this wasn’t normal.  It isn’t that I don’t believe as much as I can’t help but wonder.  I was raised in church until around the age of seven or eight, and my parents quit going, and I continued to go by myself until I was around ten or eleven.  I haven’t faithfully gone to church since, but now at the age of twenty-one, I feel as if God is calling me.  I can’t help but have my doubts, well, my anxieties about it.  I have started church again, but I guess my first step is figuring out my beliefs and learning as much as I can and just looking for help/answers.  Thanks so much for your time.  It’s an amazing thing you’re doing.  God bless!

Sincerely,
Asking

Dear Asking,

The reason it is important for people to ask themselves whether or not God is real is because it is important that we think about what we believe and get real answers from the Bible.  If you don’t look for answers, then you are just being spoon-fed whatever the preacher, pastor, professor, etc. you are closest to says.
God expects us to think through these spiritual questions and study His Word for ourselves.  Php 2:12 says that we must each work out our own salvation with fear and trembling.  In Isa 1:18, God says, “Come now, let us reason together…”.  Far too many churches provide only shallow teaching, and sadly, inaccurate shallow Bible teaching.
Expect more from any church or preacher you talk to than just a superficial answer.  Don’t feel bad for asking questions, and don’t let them treat you condescendingly just because they haven’t got an answer.  After all, 1 Pet 3:15 says that we ought to always be ready to give an answer for the hope that is in us.  If they can’t give you a straight answer… you don’t want the hope they are selling.

      I have been raised in church all my life and have been baptized in water.  I have recently rededicated my life to the Lord, and I am thinking I would like to be re-baptized.  I was wondering about this… if I should do this as a sign that I am totally selling out to God.  What do you think?

Sincerely,
Starting Over

Dear Starting Over,

The word ‘baptism’ simply means ‘immersion’ – it is the reason for your immersion that makes baptism a soul-saving act.  When we understand that baptism saves us from our sins (1 Pet. 3:21) and are baptized by the authority of Christ (Acts 2:38) and believe in His Name (Mk. 16:16), then that baptism saves us.  Many people are baptized without understanding these things… in which case, they just get wet.  You will have to evaluate for yourself whether or not you understood what you were doing when you were baptized the first time.  If you did, there is no need for re-baptism.  If you believe you didn’t know what you were doing, then you should be re-baptized.

     Why was it ironic that the Jewish leaders refused to enter the Praetorium?

Sincerely,
Huh?

Dear Huh,

The irony was in their concern over ritual cleanliness while in the process of murdering an innocent Man.  The Jewish leaders wouldn’t go into the Praetorium because it was a Gentile building, and they didn’t want to be considered “unclean” because the Passover was the next day (Jhn 18:28).
These Jewish leaders were fixated with appearing clean and pious before the masses but were inwardly wicked and godless.  Jesus compared them to white-washed tombs that looked clean on the inside but were full of dead men’s bones on the inside (Matt 23:27).

     Why are you telling people that it’s okay to baptize in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost?  Everyone should be baptized according to Acts 2:38… in the name of Jesus Christ.  Remission of sins comes through His name.

Sincerely,
Get It Right

Dear Get It Right,

There is no difference between being baptized in the name of Jesus Christ and being baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit; both phrases are used in the New Testament to describe the same baptism (Acts 2:38, Matt 28:19).

     Could you please help me understand what Paul is saying or what he means in Romans 14:23?

Sincerely,
I Doubt I Understand

Dear I Doubt I Understand,

Romans 14 deals with issues of conscience.  Your conscience is that part of you that makes you feel good when you do what you believe is right, and it makes you feel bad when you do what you believe is wrong.  Sometimes, what you believe is right is actually wrong, or what you believe is wrong is actually right.
The Bible clearly teaches that we should attempt to learn and increase in knowledge, so we can better discern between good and evil (Heb 5:14).  However, as we grow, we won’t always have the right answers.  Perfect people have perfect knowledge, and the rest of us just have to make do with growing and trying to get better!
So what should you do when there is always the possibility that you might be wrong?  The Bible answer is to obey your conscience.  If you aren’t sure, obey your conscience.  That is what Rom 14:23 is talking about.  If you believe something is wrong (even if you might later find out it is fine), don’t do it because it will offend your conscience.  If you think something is okay (even though tomorrow you might learn it is a sin), be at peace with your decision.  God gives us a conscience as a compass while we are still learning and growing.

     I have a question about the unforgivable sin.  I didn’t entirely understand what it meant last night, so I looked it up on the computer.  I was reading it, and while I was reading it, my mind was thinking about things that could cause that to happen.  One thing I thought was that if a person just thought, “I want to have committed this sin”, that might be enough to have done it.  I was thinking how I would not want to think that, and my mind thought that thought anyways!  I am saved and am fearful of God, and I am very scared about having thought that.  I was afraid that thinking about it was like doing the sin, and if it’s unforgivable, I don’t know what to do.  I love God, and I want to have the Holy Spirit in me; I definitely do not want to reject Him!  I know I need Him.  This is the most scared I have ever been in my life, and I want to make sure that I didn’t do anything by thinking that thought.  I just need to be entirely reassured; I don’t want to lose my salvation.

Sincerely,
Terrified

Dear Terrified,

The unforgivable sin is the sin against the Holy Spirit, and the fact that you are visiting this website is a pretty sure sign that you haven’t committed it.  Jesus says that any sin will be forgiven except for someone blaspheming the Holy Spirit (Mk 3:28-30).  Jesus said this to the crowd that accused Him of casting out demons by the power of Satan (Mk 3:23).  That crowd could have been forgiven of any sin, but instead they rejected the miracles that testified that Jesus was from God.  Contrast that crowd’s attitude with Nicodemus’ attitude.  Nicodemus understood that the only way that someone could perform a miracle was if God was with him (Jhn 3:2).  When that crowd rejected the evidence that the Holy Spirit provided (in this case, the miracles), they rejected any chance to receive the forgiveness found in Jesus’ teachings.  When we reject the truth of God (the Bible), we reject the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit’s primary job is to bring the truth of the gospel to mankind (see the post “What the Holy Spirit Does” for more details).  Someone blasphemes the Holy Spirit by rejecting the truth that the Holy Spirit sent us in the Bible.  Any sin can be forgiven if we will turn to God’s Word and obey it (Rom 10:17, Heb 5:9), but there is absolutely no hope for someone if he or she will not accept the Holy Spirit’s Bible.

Therefore, since it seems that you are actively seeking the truth and trying to study and learn what God’s Word is – you can find comfort that you haven’t committed the unforgivable sin.

     If God has a plan for everyone, when will He show me His for me?

Sincerely,
Good To Go

Dear Good To Go,

God once told Israel that He had great plans for them, plans for a future and a hope (Jer 29:11), but He also said that they wouldn’t see those plans until they sought Him with all their hearts (Jer 29:13).
God molds our lives when we prepare ourselves to be used by Him.  Paul once told the young preacher Timothy that he needed to be a vessel prepared to be used by God (2 Tim 2:21).  When we live faithfully by God’s Word (Rom 10:17) and prepare our lives to be useful to Him, God guarantees that He has great things in store for us.

     I have always wondered that if all these things are going to happen in the Bible and in the end Satan will be defeated, can’t Satan read?  These Scriptures have been translated into every language known to man.  Can’t he read?  If he knows he will lose, then why even try unless it is written that it will happen, in which case, he has no free will.  In the Gospel of Judas, Judas writes that he was asked by the Lord to betray Him in order for God’s will to be carried out.  Somebody had to do it, right?  Or else how could all other things come to pass?  Either way, I try to live my life by one of Christ’s sayings, and that’s to “love one another as I have loved you”.  It works for me… and is reading the Bible enough?  What do the Scriptures say to you?

Sincerely,
Mystified

Dear Mystified,

You could just as easily ask the question, “Since all non-Christians will go to hell in the end, why don’t they convert? Can’t they read?”.  Anytime someone has a dishonest or hardened heart, they do things that are against logic.  This is why people murder, steal, hate, etc.  Hard hearts make for bad decisions.  The Bible describes that state as having a “seared conscience” that is incapable of seeing the truth that is right in front of them (1 Tim 4:2).  From what we can read, nobody has a harder heart than Satan.
Now let’s address the other details you mentioned.  The Gospel of Judas isn’t a Bible book; it is a fraud.  God didn’t write that book, and it has been left out of the Bible for a reason.  The Gospel of Judas is what is called an apocryphal book, and it was never accepted as authentic by the early Christians.  Read “Books Of The Apocrypha” for further details.
Now for your last question – reading the Bible isn’t enough; you have to live by it, too.  The apostle Paul said the gospel is the power of God unto salvation (Rom 1:16).  When we read the words and then live by the words, then we will be saved (Jas 1:22).  You might want to read “Five Steps To Salvation” for further details on getting started in that life.

     I’m a high school kid.  My group of friends is not a good one.  I nearly overdosed on pain medication.  I collapsed in the corner of the room, and I nearly died.  I had a very clear vision of hell, and it was not fire.  I just felt the worst pain I have ever felt.  In this vision, I was in that same corner of the room watching myself take that medication over and over.  All I could think of was God as I was motionless on the floor.  They say I died for three minutes at the hospital, and I was brought back to life when I repented to God and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.  You may not believe me, but I went to hell and need help in changing my life situation to make it more appealing to God’s eyes.

Sincerely,
Never Again

Dear Never Again,

Whether you actually went to hell or not… you had a turning point in your life, and you are ready to make sure that you don’t ever go there – good for you.
There are a few things that you need to do to make sure you are ready to meet God and are prepared to go to heaven.  First of all, you need to take the steps to become a Christian.  Believing in Christ and repenting are two things that you must do to be saved, but they aren’t the only two things.  We recommend that you read our post “Five Steps To Salvation” and make a plan to do those things.
The last thing on that list that you must do is be baptized.  We would love to get you in touch with a congregation that can baptize you and that you can grow with over the years.  Not all churches are focused on the Lord, and we would be happy to help you find a congregation near you.  E-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org if we can help!

How did you know without a doubt that God is real?

Sincerely,
Asking

Dear Asking,

Your question is one of the fundamental questions of life: “Does God Exist?”  It is important that everyone asks this question at some point in their life; it is a basic question that is worthy of an honest answer.

We will try to give you some key evidence that there is a Creator, but we will also point you in the direction of some resources that may help you in your quest for answers.  So here we go:

1. Look at a watch and ask yourself the question, “Is this designed?”  Of course, a watch is designed – just like a house, a car, a camera, and other modern technological marvels.  You know they are designed because they are complex, they have purpose, and they are organized in a meaningful way.  Now look at your eye, your hand, even a single follicle of hair.  Are they designed?  They are infinitely more complex than a watch.  They have very distinct purposes, and they are all organized in a meaningful way.  You were designed by God; you have a Designer.  If you believe in watchmakers, you can believe in God.
2. The most basic laws of science tell us that nothing ever comes from nothing (1^st Law of Thermodynamics).  Einstein made it clear that nothing can be destroyed; energy can turn into matter and matter into energy, but everything that is here has always been here.  That begs the question, “Where did it all come from?”  Scientists all agree that everything we see had to come from somewhere, but the only logical answer to that question is ‘God’.  God, a supernatural deity not bound by the laws of physics, created all that we see and enjoy in this universe.
3. God’s Word is also proof that God is.  The Bible is a book that only God could write.  It has prophecies that are fulfilled hundreds of years after they are spoken.  It has remained unchanged by tradition or persecution for thousands of years.  It makes statements about how our world works hundreds of years before scientists realized the concepts for themselves.  The Bible is a book composed by over forty different writers over thousands of years, and yet it has no contradictions within it.  The Bible could not have been written by anyone but Deity.

These are just three reasons to believe in God; there are many more that space prevents us from mentioning.  We also recommend you go back and read through the posts in our EVIDENCES category.  You will see that you aren’t the only one who has questions about God, and you will also see that there are answers to every question.  We also recommend reading Case For A Creator by Lee Strobel and Has God Spoken? by A.O. Schnabel. Both books are well worth the read.

     I’m wondering why names associated with the people in the New Testament don’t seem like names that would be used in that part of the world (i.e. Matthew, Mark, Luke, Mary, Ruth, etc.).  Can you shed some light on that for me?  Thank you in advance.

Sincerely,
Nameologist

Dear Nameologist,

The reason for this is because our English translations Anglicize the names found in the original Greek New Testament.  For example, Peter would be pronounced ‘pet-rone’, and Andrew would be pronounced ‘an-dray-an’.  Our English translations simply take the Greek names and make them easier to pronounce in our English language.

Where is the story about the master giving three servants money when he went away on business?  One made a lot, one made a little, and the third saved what he was given.  I can’t remember the chapter.

Sincerely,
Investor

Dear Investor,

The parable you are thinking of is the parable of talents, and it can be found in Matt 25:14-30.  The parable tells the story of a man who entrusted three servants with five talents, two talents, and one talent respectively.  A talent was a large sum of money in Jesus’ day.  The point of the story is found in what happens to the man with one talent.  That man buried the talent he was entrusted with, and the master was furious because the man failed to do anything with what he had been given.  Matt 25:26-27 shows that God expects us to not be lazy and wasteful with our talents and gifts.  We should use our lives in the service of our Master.

I felt for a long time that God has called me to be a preacher (I have no clue how, why, or where).  I have just recently began re-walking with Christ after I fell off the path.  I feel I’m getting closer with God as I rid my sinful life, particularly one sin that’s been a huge addiction in my life.  As this sin fades, I feel the call more and more.  I started a Bible study group about two months ago.  Honestly, I put off the call because I knew that particular sin was still very present.  Every day I feel a little farther from this sinful life; I think I might be ready to accept the call, but how do I know if I’m ready?

Sincerely,
Eager To Speak

Dear Eager To Speak,

If you want to know whether or not you are qualified to preach, read through 1^st and 2^nd Timothy.  These are letters Paul wrote to the young preacher, Timothy, and see if you are doing what a preacher should do.  Preaching begins with studying to know what the Bible says and then actively doing it.  If you are in a faithful congregation, you can ask them about how to get practice preaching and experience in the pulpit – that is what we do with our young men in our congregation.  If you need a faithful congregation (after all, lots of them aren’t following the Bible pattern), we would be happy to help you find one.  Simply e-mail us at askyourpreacher@mvchurchofchrist.org.

     I have belonged to a church for the past two years that did not have a woman as a preacher.   I left a church nine years ago because they ordained several women to be preachers.  One month ago, my husband finally joined this church I am speaking of, and I was elated.  Approximately one week after he joined, the pastor of the church ordained a woman to be a preacher in the church.  I stopped going to that church the first time I saw her in the pulpit and wrote the church a letter to explain why I was stopping my membership.  I told him that I did not believe that a woman was supposed to be a preacher based on Scripture, and I no longer trusted him to correctly interpret the Bible.  He came to my house, and he, my husband, and I had a long discussion.  His feelings were hurt because I said that I no longer trusted him.  We were not harsh with each other, and I apologized to him because it was not my intention to hurt his feelings, but I felt like I felt.  He even stated that I needed to be at the church with my husband even though I may have reservations regarding this matter.  My husband was raised in the Church of the Living God, so he is very used to women preachers.  He also does not read the Bible, so he does not know what the Bible says.  I am not putting him down, but this is the truth.  It does not matter who I talk to; everyone seems to want to make every woman that was ever mentioned in the Bible a preacher.  I do not believe that to be so.  Please help me with this once and for all.  Thank you.

Sincerely,
Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

You are right to stand against women being in the pulpit.  1 Cor 14:34-35 makes it clear that women are not supposed to be in leadership positions during the church assembly.  Women have a zillion different roles within the church, but leading the public assembly isn’t one of them.  Men have the responsibility of preaching, teaching, and leading the worship services (1 Tim 2:12).  In today’s politically correct atmosphere, this can be hard for some to swallow, but as Paul said, “We have no other custom” on this topic (1 Cor 11:16).  There is simply no biblical precedence for women preachers.

    How do I defeat a demon in battle… as in real combat?

Sincerely,
This Means War

Dear This Means War,

The way that Christians combat the devil and his demons is by godly living and sharing God’s Word with others.  Demons are spiritual creatures that live in the spiritual realm (Lk 11:24), and you can’t fight them in hand-to-hand combat.  However, we are told that if we put on the armor of God, we can fight the spiritual battles that the church needs to fight (Eph 6:11-12).  The armor of God is described as righteousness, truth, preparation of the gospel, faith, salvation, the Bible, and prayer (Eph 6:13-18).  We fight the devil when we live godly lives that make an impact in the world around us.

     I’m going to be up front with you; I am not a Christian.  I have no desire to be.  My fiancé, on the other hand, is.  I am trying to understand how he believes, so we will have a more harmonious union.  I asked him this question, and he did not know the answer.

My question is: if the Lord is so wonderful, why would He want to see His children suffer?  Why would He take away a life that has not yet even begun?  Why would He hurt the innocent when the evil continue to live?  I don’t understand this.

If you could please explain this in simple terms – the preachers in my area get very upset when someone doubts the Lord’s amazing-ness.  Thus, I am turning to you, whoever you are, to give me a straight answer.  Thank you so much.

Sincerely,
Unbelievable

Dear Unbelievable,

Many people don’t believe in God because religious people are unwilling or incapable of giving logical answers to questions like this.  We are so sorry that you’ve never gotten the answers that the Bible offers because the Bible does give an answer to this question.
This world is full of all sorts of disease, pain, violence, and strife – but God didn’t cause those things; sin did.  All bad things are a result of sin.  When God made the world, He placed mankind in the Garden of Eden and gave us a joyously blissful existence in that paradise.  Who caused the pain?  We did.  It is sin that has brought all of the death, disease, decay, pain, suffering, troubles, and heartaches into our world.  We all, in varying degrees, are reaping the benefits of a world with sin in it.  Sickness is a consequence of Adam and Eve’s sin in the Garden of Eden.  One of the curses of their sin was that we all must face our own mortality – life is finite.  Sickness, disease, and pain are a part of the human existence.  Sadly, this is true even for our children. When God gave us freewill, He gave us the right to cause problems for ourselves and others, and if He simply removed all the consequences for our actions, He would be removing our freedoms as well.  The flip-side to this is that all children go to heaven, so after a child dies, God immediately comforts them on the other side.
God gives mankind the freedom to make decisions, but He also has the wisdom to know how those choices will affect the future (Job 12:13).  God planned before the foundation of the world to save us by sending His own Son to die (Eph. 1:3-4).  Even though He isn’t responsible for our choices, God sent the perfect cure. This world isn’t fair – if it were, it would be heaven.  Instead, we live in a fallen world where man has been exiled from paradise.  This world is not our home; Christians await a better world (Heb 11:16).

     I have attempted to look this up online, but I cannot find the answer.  Why do the years in the Bible go from high to low rather than from low to high? Example:  740 BC – 681 BC rather than 681 BC – 740 BC.  Thank you for your help.

Sincerely,
Can’t Count On It

Dear Can’t Count On It,

BC time is calculated by counting up because it is counting up towards the time when Christ walked the earth.  BC stands for “before Christ”, and using this dating method, time is counted backwards from the approximate birth of Christ.  For example, 650 BC would mean “650 years before Jesus”.  Consequently, the numbers get smaller as you get closer to Jesus’ birth.

    I’ve seen good examples in many Christian marriages in my congregation, and I think to myself, “Maybe I can find a wife like that and have a marriage as excellent as theirs.”  But later, I’ve learned how I am when I interact with women.  I’ve lessened my communication with women of the world by only sharing the Gospel with them and only with a sister with me.  But with the sisters in the church, I’ve learned of their characters, which I cannot endure.  I’ve seen this in sisters from my congregation and other congregations just by being in their presence and holding a conversation with them.  I’ve been told that it will take time for their characters to become noble, but it’s as if they’re unwilling to let God build them into the women He wants them to be.  I have no mold for a woman, and I’ve learned that it is impossible to uphold a relationship with a woman who is in the church but refuses to be godly.  Now I’m at the point where I’ve decided to remain single and not find a mate due to the fact that there are unwilling, unrepentant sisters with immature souls unwilling at heart to become a helpmeet.  As a man who has decided to remain single, how can I, a Christian man, live a single life in a world filled with so much temptation?

Sincerely,
Man Of Maturity

Dear Man Of Maturity,

Up front, we’d like to say that your opinion of Christian women is far too low.  You either are hanging out around the wrong people, or you are seriously underestimating the greatness of godly women.  Having said that, Jesus answered your question about how a man can live a single life.  When Jesus’ disciples told Him that the best thing to do is to remain unmarried, Jesus answered by saying, “Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.” (Matt 19:10-12)
Most men are built for marriage and aren’t designed to live their entire lives single.  If you aren’t able to comfortably live a single life faithfully to God, then God’s protection against fornication is for you to seek marriage (1 Cor 7:1-2).  However, in order for that to happen, you are going to need to start raising your opinion of women and, most likely, be a little more honest with your own shortcomings.